Gene Frenette: Mom's calm after Hurricane Sandy kept NFL dream alive for Jaguars' Foley Fatukasi

Whatever plan the Jacksonville Jaguars’ Foley Fatukasi has in store on Mother’s Day for Ifedola, a Nigerian woman that he lovingly calls “a rock” in his family, he prefers to keep any details to himself.

This is all Fatukasi, the free agent defensive tackle acquired seven weeks ago from the New York Jets, would reveal: “We just want to put a smile on her face.”

Truthfully, there’s probably no monetary or lavish gift to serve that purpose because his mother (her name in Nigeria means “Love becomes wealth”) rarely stops smiling or feeling appreciative for even the smallest blessing.

Some of that is likely rooted in her Nigerian upbringing, where doing the right thing and showing respect for all people is paramount.

Also, Ifedola’s past 24 years spent as a substance abuse counselor in Brooklyn ensures her having an ever-present compassionate side.

But to understand why a 6-foot-4, 318-pound NFL defensive line anchor and his two football-playing younger brothers cannot say enough about their love and admiration for Ifedola, you might have to go back to that dreadful day nearly a decade ago when Hurricane Sandy left them homeless and put everything in perspective.

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If anyone thinks Fatukasi struck it rich when he signed that $30 million contract ($20 million guaranteed) with the Jaguars, then they’re missing all those life lessons Ifedola and her Nigerian husband, Michael (a retired accountant), taught their boys all these years.

In so many ways, Foley and his brothers Olakunle (pronounced O-lah-Koon-lay), an undrafted free agent linebacker with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and Tunde, an offensive lineman at Rutgers, were already wealthy beyond measure.

As long as the Fatukasis had each other, and Ifedola’s three sons could pursue their own version of the American dream, they saw no obstacles as too big to overcome.

Long before the Jets brought Foley into the NFL in 2018 as a sixth-round draft pick — he started 23 games as a space-eating run stuffer the past two seasons — he bankrolled enough wisdom from his parents through so many challenges, it was almost impossible to not succeed.

“Nigerian culture is very authentic,” Foley said. “A sense of pride in ourselves as people, there’s a certain mantra for us to navigate through life. It’s truly embedded in me and my brothers. You take things little by little, work hard and treat people right.

“It’s about just being grateful for the things you have, not complaining about what you don’t have. It’s a principle Nigerians carry in their heart that makes life a little smoother.”

When their three-bedroom house in Far Rockaway, N.Y. was rendered uninhabitable after Hurricane Sandy hit on Oct. 29, 2012, it confirmed this above all else: the Fatukasi family bond and a mother’s comforting way was a force beyond measure.

Getting through “crazy” time

Almost a decade after the hurricane, the Fatukasis will occasionally engage in conversation about that day their house was flooded with sewage-tainted water, leaving them with no electricity or heat.

It forced them to live in a one-room motel for four months, then accepting a friend’s offer to live in her two-bedroom apartment for two-plus years until their house was sufficiently repaired to live there again.

They’ll sometimes make a joke about the storm and its fallout, if only to ease the anxiety of memories that were really no laughing matter.

“It was a very tough time, not a time I like to relive,” Foley said. “Not because it traumatized us to any extent, it’s just that I’m so grateful to still have my Mom, my Dad, my little brothers here with me.

“Nothing but the grace of God, really, understanding that some people weren’t as fortunate. They lost a lot. Just being able to have my family and us being around each other is everything. I commend the leadership of my Mom and Dad to keep me and my brothers calm through that.”

Sandy began in the western Caribbean Sea and made landfall in Cuba, a week before hitting the New York area. It caused nearly $70 billion in damage and killed 233 people, but many New Yorkers were uncertain about its intensity until it first hit off the coast of New Jersey.

Olakunle, who was 13 at the time, underestimated the storm’s wrath until it came through Far Rockaway on a Monday morning.

“I was confused,” Olakunle said Thursday in a phone interview from New Jersey. “That day, I didn’t know it’d be that big of a deal. Another hurricane came before and nothing really happened. This one was worse, it was crazy.

"Out of nowhere, we're homeless and living in a motel room. It was like something you see in a TV movie."

“It was like a tornado”

One indelible memory for Ifedola (pronounced I-Fa-Doh-Lay) was Foley carrying out four bottled waters as the flooding hit the front door, telling her: “We can’t do nothing, Mommy, let’s go, let’s go.”

They ended up going to a friend’s apartment, owned by a lady the Fatukasi boys affectionately call “Grandma Johnson,” for one night. Then the next day, the family checked into the two-star, no-frills Riviera Motor Inn, where they would stay until January, 2013.

“Five people in two beds in a hotel room,” said Owakunle, who graduated from Rutgers with a degree in information technology. “It’s not like you got a living room or a kitchen. Everything is in one room.”

All of this happened during Foley’s senior year at Beach Channel High, which had to be closed down for hurricane damage. So before UConn made him a scholarship offer that he ultimately accepted, Foley was attending a new high school, Franklin K. Lane in Brooklyn, and living in a motel with his family.

Each of them occupied a small space in that room where the boys all had to do homework. The five Fatukasis would soon learn an entirely different way of what it meant to be a close family unit.

While Ifedola and Michael relied on some assistance from FEMA to help defray motel expenses, they also had to deal with unforeseen challenges. Some home repair contractors ran out on them, taking money without doing any work, thus prolonging the time it’d take to return to their home.

Judging by what Ifedola, now 57, saw inside her house when she first assessed the hurricane damage, it was going to take a while.

“I have the pictures of when we came back to the house,” said Ifedola. “It was like a tornado. The freezer was turned upside down. Some clothes were salvageable, but we couldn’t save furniture or family mementos. A lot of memories and pictures disappeared.

“We never expected that. The night before the hurricane hit, we were concerned. We couldn’t sleep. My husband told the kids to make sure they wore their shoes and clothes to bed. We talked about leaving then, but it was so late and we didn’t know where we would sleep. The next morning, it flooded everywhere.”

Homeless, but not hopeless

Going from raising a family of three boys (ages 17, 13 and 10 at the time) in their own house, then being in a motel room for over 100 days and later somebody else’s two-bedroom apartment for a couple years is hardly an ideal living circumstance.

But looking back on that time, it made Foley realize his mother’s real strength came through when the family needed it most.

“My mom’s strongest qualities are being able to sit down and reflect,” said Foley. “She can reflect on something and give great wisdom about a situation. For all intents and purposes, it will keep you grounded and out of trouble.

“She’s a very principled woman, always willing to lend a helping hand. She’s a rock. She sets a high standard for caring about other people.”

With three sons trying to get through adolescence suddenly being homeless, Ifedola viewed it as less of a crisis and more a teaching opportunity about life.

This wasn’t as fun for Foley and his brothers as taking all those annual summer vacations to places like London (Ifedola lived there before getting married), Florida, Ireland or Nigeria. But Ifedola and Michael made sure to impress on their kids that the hurricane could actually be a good thing for them.

“We just kept praying,” said Ifedola. “No condition is permanent. I told the kids it’s good in a way that you have this experience because other people live in this situation for the rest of their lives. We at least had hope that we could go back home. We lined up for food and all that. Well, some people line up for food every day.”

That kind of insight amidst difficult circumstances resonates with her sons to this day. Foley can still hear his parents’ repeated message to them when they were either in that motel room or grandma Johnson’s apartment.

“My Mom and Dad would always say that everything is going to be OK,” said Foley. “This time will pass. Just do the things you’re supposed to do and keep on being happy.”

Coming to America

Ifedola and Michael both grew up in the Nigerian city of Ilesa, but didn’t actually meet until they were young adults. She served as a midwife back home, then later moved to London to advance her nursing career.

The couple reconnected through Michael’s sister and they were married in 1992 in Nigeria. Michael had already lived in New York for four years when Ifedola, several months after they tied the knot, moved there to be with him permanently.

Michael worked several jobs, then went to school at New York Tech before settling into a career as an accountant. Ifedola wasn’t sure about continuing in nursing, so she completed a degree in human services/community science at Empire State College. She now has a master's degree in human services.

When a lady told Ifedola she’d make a good counselor, she and Michael temporarily moved to Albany, where she went through 350 hours of training before returning to New York City as a counselor’s aide. Four years later, she applied and got a state job as a substance abuse counselor.

“I looked around to see what was going to benefit me and what my spirit was telling me,” said Ifedola. “An opportunity that comes, you sometimes have to take it because you can lose it at any time.”

The same thing could be said for Foley’s football career, which didn’t take the traditional route of many NFL players. Given his turbulent final high school season, plus getting only scholarship offers from UConn, Buffalo and Old Dominion, the odds against him making it in the NFL were steep.

But considering what his family had already been through, maybe it wasn’t all that shocking that Fatukasi made the roster with his hometown New York Jets. And not only used that opportunity to become a full-time starter, but parlayed it into an NFL lotto ticket with the Jaguars.

Finding team who believed in him

When Foley started playing football in eighth grade as a two-way lineman, he initially thought it’d be a means to help make him better at basketball.

But his mindset changed while walking to the school bus the following year. He started thinking football was his best chance to get a scholarship and pursue the ultimate goal of getting to the NFL.

His four-year ride with the Jets was a dream scenario, getting to play for his hometown team and making a meteoric rise. Fatukasi played in only one game in 2018, got into the rotation his second year and became one of the league’s better run defenders in 2020.

Last season, the same player who couldn’t get off the bench as a rookie was named one of five Jets’ team captains. While he played less nose tackle and more a two-technique and three-technique tackle under first-year head coach Robert Saleh, he registered 46 tackles (five for loss) and had six quarterback hits.

“To play at home was amazing, having family and friends see me,” said Fatukasi. “I understood the blessings in that regard and didn’t take it for granted.”

As much as the Jets wanted to retain him, Fatukaski hit the market at a perfect time for the Jaguars. They had plenty of cap space and offered him a contract that was too rich for his hometown team.

“Oh, really it just came down to someone believing in me,” Fatukasi said at his introductory Jaguars’ press conference. “Someone saw something in me, they saw something in my ability and they took a chance on me. I’m always grateful for people that just give me a chance, because all you need is one person to believe in you. That’s what made me come here.”

Saleh, a former Jaguars linebackers coach (2014-16), cannot say enough good things about Fatukasi.

"We would have loved to kept him for sure, but money wins," Saleh told the Times-Union. "Phenomenal dude, great leader. Jacksonville got a helluva person and a player. He's the epitome of everything you want in terms of leadership and work ethic. He was the voice of our team. I could turn to him when I wanted to know about how the locker room was feeling. He's very respectful, very inquisitive. He loves to know the whys.

"He's done great for himself. We'll miss him. I love when a player reaps the benefits of hard work. I'm happy for him and his opportunity."

Remembering Mom’s guidance

Still, Fatukasi never loses sight of the fact he signed a contract that may well provide him and his family a lifetime of financial security, but he emphasizes the importance of validating the team’s faith in him on and off the field.

“First and foremost, I have to give that glory back to God,” said Fatukasi. “I feel like it’s for a purpose, and that purpose is beyond me. Being able to give back [financially] to people is probably the biggest thing I’m happy and thrilled about.

“Being able to stay grounded is important to me. It’s a blessing to hit that second contract, but I want to continue to elevate as a player and as a man, so the next person is inspired by me.”

When Fatukasi talks about his contract providing an opportunity to give back, it’s a testimony to Ifedola’s influence, particularly the lessons imparted in the Hurricane Sandy aftermath.

She kept telling Foley and his brothers throughout that ordeal about the potential they had for the future, that life moves on and not to let any obstacles weigh them down.

Well, now that her oldest son is an NFL multi-millionaire, Ifedola says what she looks forward to seeing — beyond how her and Michael might arrange a hectic travel schedule to possibly accommodate watching three sons play football at different locations – is how Foley will use his windfall to help others.

“If you spend money on yourself, it’s not going to be recognized,” said Ifedola. “But supporting a person who needs help and is able to move forward in life, that is special and will be recognized. I’m not surprised at what he wants to do.”

Folorunso (name means “God protect me”) Ifeyinka “Foley” Fatukasi can never forget the profound impact Hurricane Sandy had on his own life perspective. It strengthened what was already a tight family bond.

On this Mother’s Day, looking back as he starts a new football chapter with the Jaguars, it almost feels like the perfect storm.

Gfrenette@jacksonville.com: (904) 359-4540

Gene Frenette Sports columnist at Florida Times-Union, follow him on Twitter @genefrenette

This article originally appeared on Florida Times-Union: Mom helped Jaguars' Foley Fatukasi keep NFL dream alive after Hurricane Sandy