George Santos has to be trying out for the next Bud Light commercial, right?

This 25-year-old scene keeps running through my mind, that of a young man walking off an airplane and approaching the limo drivers holding the cardboard signs with the names of their arriving clients:

Do you have Bud Light in your vehicle?

Yes.

Then I’m Mr. Galley-key-wutz.

You mean Dr. Galazkiewicz?

Yes I am.

It so perfectly mimics the antics of congressman-elect George Santos who, with his wife Taylor Swift, campaigned in Long Island after re-growing two amputated legs so he could walk door to door taking time out to save the lives of a dozen children who were about to drown in a swimming pool, telling voters his heartwarming story about how he rose from poverty to become astonishingly rich in 20 minutes, using his newfound wealth to buy a mansion in the Hamptons, Boardwalk and Park Place and the Statue of Liberty.

Santos lied about everything. Not just a few things, everything. It is challenging to find anything in his purported life story that he was honest about. I suppose we should cut him some slack — if your mother had died as often as his, you would probably have a weak grasp on reality as well.

To channel another vintage advertisement, he’s Joe Isuzu, the automobile pitchman who calmly asserted the car got 94 miles to the gallon city, 112 highway, while the subtitles read "(He’s Lying)".

Its top speed is 300 miles an hour. (Downhill in a Hurricane.)

They’re selling them for $9 and if you come in tomorrow you get a free house. (House Not Included).

The only difference is that Santos didn’t come with subtitles, although he’s been typing to add them in later. “I’m Jewish.” (He means Jew-ish). How great is that? It’s like me, I’m somewhat but not totally rad, so I guess that makes me a radish.

His parents “survived the Holocaust?” Well, technically, so did mine, although they were on the other side of the ocean at the time.

So great was the subterfuge that George Santos isn’t today defined by what we know about him, but what we don’t know about him. We know he didn’t attend Baruch College and New York University, like he said. We know that he didn’t work for Citigroup and Goldman Sachs (although as a congressman, he soon will be).

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Congressional GOP brass has been keeping very quiet about all this, because they need his vote and to them a lying Republican is preferable to an honest Democrat, assuming one could be found. But how funny would it be if Santos is also lying about being a conservative? Maybe he gets to Congress and starts voting with AOC.

We know where he doesn’t live, because the press keeps knocking on the doors of addresses he’s listed publicly, and the people who answer say he moved out a long time ago, if they’ve heard of him at all.

Then there’s the whole matter of his finances and campaign spending. “The suggestion that the Santos campaign engaged in any irresponsible spending of campaign funds is just ludicrous,” said Joe Murray, Santos’ lawyer.

Well, that’s progress; at least Santos now appears to be leaving the lying to the professionals.

What we know is that until he started running for office, Santos was flat broke —  twice being evicted for nonpayment of rent and borrowing money from acquaintances he never repaid. Then he runs for Congress and presto chango, he’s a millionaire, jetting around the country, staying in five-star hotels and eating at all the best restaurants.

He’s acting exactly like the guy in the Bud Light ad, playing with switches and knobs and raising and lowering the privacy glass. “This is so cool!” If he’d ever had money before, he sure didn’t act like it. But give him credit, he’s staying the course, admitting only to a few “embellishments” in his resume, and promising he will take his seat in Congress.

First time in a limo — doctor?

In a limo this small.

Tim Rowland is a Herald-Mail columnist.

This article originally appeared on The Herald-Mail: New York congressman-elect lies just like Joe Isuzu