Getting used to life in assisted living during the holidays | Column
My Uncle Ben was still square dancing at the age of 102, when, during a routine hospital stay, an attendant dropped him and broke his hip.
When the lawsuit came to trial, the hospital’s attorney said, “Now, Your Honor, we don’t need to settle much money on the old gentleman. At his age, he won’t need a large amount.”
The judge disagreed. “The Old Gentleman was dancing the night before you dropped him,” he said. “I wasn’t dancing that night. Were you?”
The Old Gentleman continued to enjoy life, using a wheelchair but pursued by a cadre of senior ladies for two more years.
By the time we meet again, I’ll have celebrated my 90th birthday. Uncle Ben’s story gives me a lot to think about as I get used to dealing with my personal current events. There’s a lot to sort out.
”I woke up this morning and my Christmas tree had committed suicide,” reports my friend Joella. In the night the tree seems to have jumped out of its stand and it was lying on the floor, strangled in its own lights. I made the obligatory noises one must make, but I dismissed this as a character flaw in her Christmas tree.
But then that very day, our National Tree fell over on the White House Ellipse and spent six hours hanging by a cable before workers could get it back up. I will tell you that any Christmas that starts with a death and a hanging is going to be challenging. And gifts will be hard to choose.
I’m preparing for my first Christmas in my new apartment and my new life. I’m trying to work out how Christmas comes in Assisted Living. Or if it comes at all. All holiday decorations must be artificial, according to the Fire Marshal, including trees and the wreaths on the door. I am determined to make new memories here, but you have to bring some memories with you.
My friend Terry wrote, “Hope things are working out for you in your new digs. I gave up looking and decided to age in place as long as possible; so I did an interior refresh instead. Will hire help as needed.”
One thing that is very important here is the incredible commitment and concern of the staff, who manage to be very professional and yet caring friends at the same time.
My condo hasn’t sold yet. To me it is a perfect place. But nobody buys a house at Christmastime. So budgeting is a major activity. My son just pointed out to me that if I didn’t mind bunking with my husband in the hereafter, I could sell my second cemetery plot. Creative thinking there, Son.
All of this has caused me to think about Superman. No, really. I’m not talking about the new muscular movie hero. I’m talking about the 1951 version who wore what looked like old men’s underwear for a costume and changed clothes in a phone booth. He shouted “Up, up and away” when he was wired into space, and when he came down, he landed pretty hard. Now there was a hero who looked like he knew what trouble is and is willing to run from it with you.
I think we should try to find a few super powers of our own. I talked to a group last week about finding our super powers and amazingly they knew right away what theirs were.
Mrs. N didn’t hesitate. “I’m nosy,” she said promptly. “I want all the answers. And I want them now.”
Me too.
The answers are pretty slow in coming. I sent away for Triple-Strength Moisturizer which promises to make my skin lovely and youthful in just three applications. It arrived just this morning. I have already put on applications one and two. I don’t actually look younger yet, but by tomorrow morning, watch out world! Happy New Year!
Where to find Dorothy in December
Catch Dorothy’s podcast, Swimming Upstream Radio Show, at https://swimmingupstreamradioshow.com
Contact Dorothy by phone at 800-548-9264 or via email at Dorothy@swimmingupstreamradioshow.com.
Dec. 4: Coffee, Chat and Change the Season. Reservations at https://swimmingupstreamradioshow.com.
Jan. 2: Dorothy’s birthday!
