Girlfriend ‘upset’ boyfriend of 3 years asks her to split bills: ‘[You’re] expecting him to read your mind’

Reddit is weighing in on an awkward situation between an anonymous woman and her longtime boyfriend that seems to be creating some major tension behind the scenes. So far, few people appear to be on the girlfriend’s side — and are straight-up calling her out on it.

According to u/andreaanderson93’s post, shared in the subreddit “Am I the A**hole,” she’s been splitting bills with her boyfriend since they first got together several years ago. At the time, the couple was pretty young, so splitting things 50/50 just made sense. But now, she’s 29 and making a bit less money than her boyfriend (who’s 26), which is why she’s starting to see things a bit differently.

“We’re 3.5 years into our relationship and he still [asks me to send half the money],” the poster said. “I, however, will sometimes buy things but not request him for half. I don’t even think about requesting him because I feel like he’s my partner and if we’re both indulging in something. I don’t care about him paying me half.”

“Well, today I said how low I am on money,” she confessed. “He was empathetic, but a couple minutes later said something about our plans tomorrow to paint pottery. I told him I didn’t want to anymore because it’s just more money I have to pay (since I know he’d request me for half). I was kind of hoping and wishing that he would say ‘Don’t worry about it, I got it,’ but he didn’t. Now I’m upset that he didn’t.”

The problem, she said, is that she doesn’t “nickel and dime” her boyfriend for every little thing and really wishes he’d look at things the same way. But apparently, that’s not the case.

“Now instead of doing a fun date tomorrow, we have to figure out something free to do,” the woman explained. “Which is fine, but I feel like I’m upset he splits EVERYTHING.”

According to the user, she’s been upset about it ever since but hasn’t actually said anything to her boyfriend yet. Still, she’s feeling conflicted over what to do (if anything at all).

“AITA for getting upset?” she asked at the end of her post, adding, “If we make ALMOST the same, is it too old school of me to think that he should at least pay for SOME things?”

Once the comments started flowing in, a lot of Redditors declared that she was in the wrong — but not for the reason you might think.

“YTA [You’re the A**hole] for expecting your partner to read your mind,” one person bluntly told her. “Judging from this post, you have never told him you sometimes want him to pay for things 100%. Tell him.”

As another person put it: “OP isn’t an a**hole for her feelings, but OP needs to talk to her partner about how she’s feeling or she will be an a**hole.”

There were, however, several people who found her boyfriend’s behavior to be a bit off-putting.

“Maybe your communication skills are lacking, but how clueless is your boyfriend that he thinks nickel and diming his partner of 3+ years is normal?” one person wondered. “I’m not sure I even would have made it through the first few dates.”

“I do think it’s tacky for the person who earns more to continue splitting things in perpetuity, or at least not taking you out on a date where he covers the bill entirely once in a while,” another person agreed.

“NTA,” someone else told her. “You don’t have a partner, you have a financial contract.”

In the end, most people said the lesson here was a pretty classic one: The poster needs to communicate her feelings to her boyfriend if she expects anything to change.

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