‘Glass Onion’ Ice Cream Isn’t as Nasty as It Sounds

Rian Johnson’s new whodunnit Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery could’ve inspired a number of food-related merchandise options. A simple onion-and-knife combo could’ve done well over at Williams Sonoma. How about French onion soup crocks for sale at Target? Or perhaps a glass onion storage container to hold alliums at Sur La Table?

But the team at Netflix is surely more creative than packaging plain old onions and knives, right? Right. Netflix went for something sweeter—as in, dessert.

As you wear your Super Yaki Knives Out hat, you can now eat ice cream inspired by Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery. Van Leeuwen has unveiled a mystery flavor, in honor of Netflix’s splashy new movie. And since we all loved the movie so much, what better way to celebrate the success than tasting the ice cream to see if it’s as brilliant as Jared Leto’s kombucha?

The Glass Onion ice cream is for sale in Van Leeuwen shops located in New York City and Los Angeles, and can ship to any other location in the United States. Act fast—rumor has it that Kate Hudson is about to buy Van Leeuwen out of all their stock to give gifts to her favorite Fabletics workers. (Kidding.)

I wanted to try it for myself, and living in NYC let me go find it in person. I ventured off to the Van Leeuwen storefront in NoLita to grab a spoonful and a pint to take home for further deliberation. The nice workers at Van Leeuwen offered me a spoonful to try (note: everyone seems a little hesitant about this Glass Onion flavor) before I took some home for further deliberation.

The first taste threw me off. Here I was, sitting in a quaint ice cream shop in NoLita, trying onion custard. Truly, it’s onion. Next door, a nice jewelry shop sells gold rings to boyfriends hunting for Christmas presents. A few doors over, fervent readers pick up a new book at McNally Jackson. And here I was, spooning onion jam ice cream into my mouth.

But it’s actually not bad. Nothing about the Glass Onion flavor made me recoil—it’s nothing like those gnarly Harry Potter Jelly Belly jellybeans that accurately taste like booger and earwax. No, the onion is a surprising flavor, but not an unwelcome one. Though the flavor is officially called “mystery,” and one might have fun quizzing parents and siblings while home for the holidays, Van Leeuwen has revealed what’s inside: vanilla ice cream, greek yogurt, pineapple honeycomb, and bourbon onion jam.

The first three flavors are completely incapacitated by the bourbon onion jam, which is so potent that I’m shocked the entire Van Leeuwen store didn’t smell of alliums. Bourbon onion jam probably tastes great on toast, though it’s not so terribly layered into this ice cream. The pineapple honeycomb remains absent. Sorry, girl—you sounded so good.

All in all, the Glass Onion mystery flavor tasted a lot like Thanksgiving leftovers all mashed into one—while your stuffing sits on one side of the plate, that fruity pie is getting some hints of garlic and herbs in the mix. The crunchiness (which, scarily, is supposed to be “glass,” I guess?) adds to the mix, almost like an Oreo in a cookies ‘n’ cream sundae.

While the Glass Onion ice cream may not make for an incredibly appetizing sweet treat, it has an array of other values. It’s worth tasting once—just so you know what “Glass Onion” tastes like. It also makes for the perfect gag gift (kept on ice) at an office holiday party, a celebration with friends, or even at home. Order a pint to share with gramps after Christmas dinner, and record his reaction to the mystery flavor.

Then, of course, pair it with the perfect fun-for-the-whole-family film, Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery. The new mystery will hit Netflix Dec. 23, while the first installment is available to rent or purchase on VOD platforms. That is, if gramps forgives you for feeding him onion ice cream and is willing to spring $3 to rent it!

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