Golden Globes Nominees as Zodiac Signs
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The Golden Globes nominees aren’t the only stars of awards season. Variety turned to astrology to assign Zodiac signs to this year’s nominees. Some selections required a little more nuance — Olivia Wilde’s “Booksmart” is a Virgo with a prominent Sagittarius rising and Greta Gerwig’s “Little Women” is a Sagittarius that wishes it were a Virgo. This thorough examination does not serve as an official predictions list, but Leos are known to gravitate toward the spotlight.
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Aries: “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”
It would be way too easy to assign the mercurial sign of Aries to this year’s intense wartime entries, but instead, for your consideration: There is absolutely nothing more Aries on this list of nominations than “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” This show is all big personalities in suspiciously sharp outfits fighting to get a word in edgewise while (in Midge’s case) literally stealing the spotlight. Only one sign could sum that kind of overwhelming charisma up in a single word, and it’s Aries.
Honorable mentions: “Game of Thrones,” “1917” and “The Morning Show.” —C.F.
Taurus: “Dolemite Is My Name”
“Dolemite Is My Name” tells the tall tale of Rudy Ray Moore and how he made it, which required a lot of Taurus-type stubbornness, or better, persistence. The costumes are loud and luxurious (Eddie Murphy required 75 outrageous outfit changes alone), and the story is easy, breezy, steeped in comedic relief and showcases the Taurus in all its glory: hardworking, sensuous and a little indulgent.
Honorable mention: “The Two Popes.” —M.Z.
Gemini: “Joker”
It’s only right for the most controversial — and a little inconsistent — comic book film of the year to be a Gemini, if not for the line, “I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realize that’s a f—ing comedy” alone. Todd Phillips’ “Joker” follows Arthur Fleck’s descent (or ascent, depending on the audience) into madness, becoming the murdering clown hero of the working class in Gotham.
Honorable mentions: “Killing Eve,” “Living With Yourself” and “Fosse/Verdon.” —L.H.
Cancer: “Judy”
Somewhere over the rainbow, “Judy” was a water sign. Renee Zellweger’s performance as Judy Garland is riddled with emotion: highs, lows and everything in between. Cancers crave comfort and co-dependency, perhaps a little too much, but the sensitive crabs aren’t just one-note overemotional signs. The film itself focuses on Garland’s fiercely loyal (albeit, nonconventional) style of parenting, her limitless capacity for empathy and her gentle nature, proving itself as a true blue Cancer.
Honorable mentions: “The Farewell” and “Fleabag.” —M.Z.
Leo: “Pose”
The only people capable of doing dramatics and flair better than a Leo are the Golden Globes-nominated characters of “Pose,” led by the outstanding MJ Rodriguez. The series itself did not receive a nom, but Billy Porter did and that alone is reason for qualification. Highlighting black and brown transgender and gender-nonconforming culture in the ‘80s, this drama is equal parts passionate, generous, stubborn and flashy.
Honorable mentions: “Ford v Ferrari,” “The Morning Show,” “The Politician,” “Bombshell” and “Rocketman.” —L.H.
Virgo: “Unbelievable”
This female-led limited series channels BVE (Big Virgo Energy) via a thrilling and righteous search for justice. The two detectives, Grace Rasmussen (Toni Collette) and Karen Duvall (Merritt Wever) take on rape culture — (spoiler alert) and win — after a young woman several states away reports her rape and is then told by police that it never happened. The only way to crack the case is by using the traits that Virgos are famous for: intelligence, meticulousness, perfectionism, and charm.
Honorable mentions: “The Irishman,” “On Becoming a God in Central Florida,” “Booksmart” and “Parasite.” —B.B.
Libra: “Dead to Me”
This hilarious black comedy is all about justice and the ability to forgive, whether it’s forgiving ourselves or other people. Starring Christina Applegate, who received a nod, and Linda Cardellini, “Dead to Me” chases after internal harmony in the midst of chaos and deals with the hard feminine truth of comprising boundaries to please other people.
Honorable mentions: “How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World” and “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood.” —L.H.
Scorpio: “Big Little Lies”
The first season of “Big Little Lies” was a chaotic Cancer, but the second’s paranoid melodrama is all Scorpio. Not only did it turn the volume up on all the sex and death (both Scorpio faves), but it threw in a storyline of dark magic (or at least something vaguely mystic) to haunt everyone more literally. But lest we all write off Scorpios as one-dimensional goths, this is also the sign of ride-or-die loyalty, which is the glue that keeps the merry murderers of Monterey together.
Honorable mentions: “Russian Doll” and “Chernobyl.” —C.F.
Sagittarius: “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”
Quentin Tarantino’s ninth (or 10th? The jury is still out) film was larger than life. Sagittariuses are known for juggling it all at once, and “Once Upon a Time” does just that. The film zig-zags through simultaneous storylines in an ambitious effort to revise Hollywood’s golden era. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Al Pacino and a motley crew that composed the Manson family, the film challenges history in a sepia ’70s filter and freely explored what could have been.
Honorable mentions: “Cats,” “Little Women” and “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” —M.Z.
Capricorn: “Succession”
“Succession” might be full of fire signs making life difficult for each other, but the show itself is Capricorn culture. It’s a monument to scathing wit, relentless ambition, cutthroat efficiency and power neutrals. (Special shoutout to Gerri, the real brain keeping Waystar Royco afloat and a true Capricorn queen.) Caps will do whatever it takes to hold onto their power, and they don’t have time for your nonsense, so find a way to be useful or f— off.
Honorable mentions: “Hustlers” and “The Crown.” —C.F.
Aquarius: “Knives Out”
Marked by its unconventional take on the murder-mystery genre, “Knives Out” is a clear choice for this quirky sign. From the mansion with trap-doors and peculiar toys in abundance, the Pinocchio-esque vomiting and Chris Evans in that sweater, the film shines through its assertive script and commitment to moral justice.
Honorable mentions: “Frozen II,” “Jojo Rabbit” and “Harriet.” —L.H.
Pisces: “Barry”
All about rebirth and reincarnation, Pisces are deeply influenced by their environment, so what better sign to represent a serial killer turning into a seasoned actor? Written, directed and executive produced by star Bill Hader, “Barry” focuses on adapting to new situations and reflecting on the emotional journey of the past, all the while channeling the internal drama that the Pisces fish are notorious for.
Honorable mentions: “Toy Story 4,” “Marriage Story” and “Pain and Glory.” —L.H.
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