A Good Age: Married for 75 years, Charlie and Betty Santoro are proud of life together

QUINCY − In 1946, Charlie Santoro came home from serving in World War II, surprised and thankful to be alive. He was the youngest of 17 children, 14 of them boys, growing up in Medford. He had been on active duty at the same time as seven of his brothers. All eight, in different military branches, had made it home.

"My father hugged me so hard, that's how I knew how much he loved me," Charlie said Sunday.

In Medford, the brothers were known as “The Fighting Santoros:” Jim, Joe, Leo, Paul, John, Tom, Harry and Charlie. There is a plaque commemorating their service on their former home at 19 Wheeler Ave.

In South Boston, Bernadette "Betty" Mirisola was 17, looking after five older brothers at home. She had just graduated from South Boston High School and occasionally modeled fur coats at a Leeds department store in Boston. Her father, Frank Mirisola, owned Billy Hurley's Log Cabin, an entertainment club at Albany and Northampton streets in Roxbury Crossing. A club postcard from that era reads, "On the road to the South Shore."

The two young people didn't know each other, but their fathers, who met at a family end-of-war party, decided that Charlie and Betty would make a nice marriage match. Arrangements were made for them to meet and date, always with a family chaperone.

"We went out and I always had a good time," Betty recalls.

A year later, on April 25, 1948, they were married at St. Brigid's Church in South Boston. He was 22, she was 17. They lived for several years in her family's six-family apartment house. Charlie worked as a welder and a school bus driver, and eventually became a teamster, driving trucks.

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In 1954, they moved to the Montclair section of Quincy, bordering on the Wollaston Golf Course. They have three sons: Frank, 74, a teacher, retired Quincy High School principal and current school committee member; Charlie, 69, a retired Quincy police lieutenant; and Paul, 65, a retired postal employee. Their six grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren are the lights of their life.

They loved their home life, with Charlie working in the basement and keeping a large garden. Aging, however, brought physical changes, and in February, the couple moved to an apartment at Atria Marina Place assisted living. Both have health issues and dearly miss their home but are settling in.

Now 98 and 92, they recently celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary and Atria Marina Place had a party for them. Charlie was asked the reason for their long and happy marriage.

"I drove a truck and I wasn't home a lot," he said with characteristic candor and humor.

On Mother's Day, family members including their granddaughter Lori Scott and her husband, David, stopped by to say hello. There was a special morning brunch and afternoon tea.

Asked what he is proudest of in his life, Charlie said, "My wife. She had to take care of the kids. She was home while I was working 16 hours a day." Betty also volunteered a lot in the children's schools and for the North Quincy High Booster Parents.

Charlie was always proud of his wife's appearance. Just the other day, his granddaughter Lori said, he suggested Betty wear something "that will show off your shape, your style."

For 30 years, Charlie was a driver for Boston and Taunton Transportation. He worked 16-hour days, four days a week, and when he got home at night, the three boys were in bed, but knew they would have to answer for their mischief of the day.

"I know you're awake," he would say as he climbed the stairs to their bedrooms, having received a report from their mother, ready to dispense some discipline.

"I cooked, I cleaned, I went along with it," Betty said. She is known for her easy-going personality, never saying anything negative about anyone, having a caring attitude. Growing up with five older stepbrothers in the restaurant business, she learned the art of diplomacy.

"I never liked having disagreements," she said.

During their long marriage, if there was an argument, she said, "then things would get very quiet, until one of us needed something and we would start talking again. We disagree sometimes."

"Everyone was there with their sauce and meatballs"

Asked what has meant the most to her, Betty said, "I enjoy my family so much, especially the grandchildren and great-grandchildren."

Frank, their oldest son, lives nearby with his wife, Linda. He recalls many large family gatherings, Sunday dinners and summer picnics at D.W. Field Park in Brockton.

"We would go to my father's mother's house in Medford and the whole family would be there, dozens of kids running around, wives cooking," Frank said. "Everyone would have their sauce and meatballs. We played with our aunts and uncles, who were all ages. That's what we did the most: we had fun together and we ate."

While his father was often absent during the week, Frank said, "he always had time for us, especially on the weekends. He never missed a game we three played in, which was very important. My brother Paul played football at North Quincy High. I played basketball through college."

One result, he said, is that "spending valuable time with your children is more important than anything else. Even now I try to make sure I get to my four grandsons' games and concerts."

As his parents have slowed down, Frank Santoro is also learning to cook.

"I grew up with sauce and meatballs and when they couldn't do it any longer, I wanted to make sure they could continue that tradition," he said. "It is also the same with Mom's Easter cookies with hard-boiled eggs in them." He made 30 of those this year.

After 75 years together, Charlie and Betty Santoro are still adjusting to their new domain. They both use walkers now. They realized they could no longer do the things they enjoyed; it takes time to make new friends and build new routines. They faithfully say the rosary.

"I've had a good life, a good family, I am a happy man," Charlie said.

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Reach Sue Scheible at sscheible@patriotledger.com.

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This article originally appeared on The Patriot Ledger: Charlie and Betty Santoro of Quincy celebrate 75th wedding anniversary