'If you need a good home, come here'

ONTARIO — Melinda Shaum has a theory why she and her husband have ended up raising four kids who are not related to them.

"There must be a sign in our front yard that only kids can see: 'If you need a good home, come here,'" she said.

Jim and Melinda Shaum have opened their home to four children who were in desperate situations. The Shaums are 71 and 68, respectively.

"We did not plan to have these kids. These kids found us," Melinda said.

She's glad they did.

"Our faith has been such a huge part. Nothing we've done has been without prayer," Melinda said. "They all needed a good home."

All four kids attend Ontario Local Schools. Three are in high school. Nick is a senior, while Lia is a junior and Alivia is a sophomore. Aven is in sixth grade.

Also part of the family are Daisy, a Maltese, and Scampy, a Maltipoo.

Adoptive couple met through church

But before the Shaums could take in a second family, they had to find their way to each other.

Both of them graduated from Ontario High School, Jim in 1970 and Melinda in 1972.

"I didn't even know him in school," Melinda said.

After high school, life took them in different directions. Melinda went off to college, while Jim got married.

In 1989, Melinda returned to Ontario, buying her parents' house on Park Avenue West, where the family still lives.

She and Jim met while attending Ontario Christian Church in the mid-1990s. By then, Melinda was a widow and Jim had split from his first wife.

The couple met when Jim stopped by Melinda's house to make a repair.

"Our pastor said he would send this nice man to look at my tractor," Melinda said.

It was pretty much over after that.

"She set a trap for me, carrot cake and a pot of coffee," Jim said with a smile.

During their initial meeting, Jim washed his hands in Melinda's kitchen sink. When he returned to check the tractor, she allowed him to use the bathroom sink.

Jim said that was an indication she was more comfortable with him. The four kids laughed upon hearing the story.

In 1999, the Shaums married. Melinda taught Spanish and special education at Pioneer Career & Technology Center. Jim was a contractor, involved in the heavy equipment business.

Shaums are retired teachers

He later taught engineering graphics and carpentry for Madison Local Schools. Both retired as teachers.

They formed their own family. Jim had three kids from his previous marriage. They were adults by the time Jim and Melinda married.

Melinda was not able to have kids of her own.

The Shaums had plans for retirement. They were going to live in the Southwest during Ohio's winter months.

Then Lia came into their lives. She was in second grade at the time and lived close to the Shaums.

According to Jim, Lia's mother was "not being a mom." Eventually, Jim went to parent/teacher conferences. When Lia got home from school, she went to the Shaum home.

"When she got off the school bus, she would jump up into Jim's arms, and then she was a happy girl," Melinda said.

Lia became very close to Jim, a relationship that has only deepened in the ensuing years.

Arrangements were made for Jim and Melinda to take over as Lia's guardians if her birth mother passed away. Her biological dad was never in the picture.

The Shaums did take custody of Lia when she was in the fifth grade and adopted her about four years ago. Her mother has since died.

Jim and Melinda credit Ontario United Methodist Church with supporting them along their journey.

Nick was the next child they would take in. Jim was involved in a church youth group, while Nick was a "bundle of energy."

That's putting it mildly.

Nick became Jim Shaum's 'project'

"His behavior was so atrocious that he became my project," Jim said of Nick.

"He was obnoxious," Lia chimed in from the couch.

At one point, Jim threatened to tie Nick's belt to his to keep them together. He wondered if that was the right approach.

"I thought, 'Am I going to drive this kid away, or is that what he needs?''' Jim asked himself.

He learned the answer at a subsequent church service. Nick was sitting with a woman who was caring for him at the time, when he suddenly went to sit by Jim.

Nick snuggled up under Jim's arm.

"That boy loves you. That boy just loves you," the woman said.

Jim said he would have had no idea otherwise.

While Jim recounted the story, Lia started braiding Alivia's hair.

A relative had encouraged Nick and his brother to fight each other. Eventually, another church member took in Nick's brother, while Nick went to live with Jim and Melinda.

Nick immediately found a home.

"He was here not 24 hours, when he looked at me and said, 'I am never leaving here,''' Melinda recalled.

Jim added, "Trust was established early on."

Instantly, Lia was no longer the only child.

Shaums discarded life plans to raise four new kids

The Shaums also had to put their travel plans on hold.

Melinda suffers from neuropathy and fibromyalgia. She has gone through 32 surgeries.

"Often my health got in the way of our traveling," Melinda said.

Still, the family has a large RV sitting on their property.

Alivia and Aven initially came to live with Melinda and Jim with their other sibling, who showed violent tendencies.

"She had to be removed," Melinda said. "The moment that she was, the whole attitude in the house changed. Everyone was happy."

That was in October.

The girls had been adopted by a family member who had good intentions, the Shaums said. They ended up with another relative and her boyfriend, but their situations only worsened.

Alivia, Aven and their sister were headed to foster care when the Shaums stepped up in November 2021. Jim feared the girls would be separated and taken away from church attendance.

He no longer has those fears.

The Shaums have adopted Lia and Nick and have plans to adopt Alivia and Aven.

They also have been involved in a support group through their church and the school district. It is for older people in their situation, those who find themselves raising kids.

Adoptive parents have received no financial aid

Because they are not foster parents, Jim and Melinda have gotten no financial aid in raising four children. Melinda says they have drained their retirement savings.

It's been worth it.

"It's amazing how someone else's child could become your own child, to where you love them as much as your own," Jim said.

Melinda added, "Only because of God's blessing can we do this. We love these kids. I have three daughters and a son."

It goes both ways.

Nick was the impetus for this story. He reached out to the News Journal to suggest a story on Jim and Melinda, or "Ma" and "Pa."

Sporting a Pittsburgh Steelers hoodie and cowboy boots for the interview, Nick is set to graduate from Ontario High School in May.

"I can actually do school," he said of his current home. "Before in those other homes, school was never a priority."

Without the Shaums, Nick said he'd be failing in school.

Now he has tentative plans to attend North Central State College. Nick is interested in a career in law enforcement.

Nick and Melinda have a special connection.

With Lia, that connection is with Jim.

When she ran cross country, she looked for her dad before every meet. Jim was running a bit late for one.

"I didn't see him, and we were at the starting line," Lia said. "Coach had to push me in order to get me to go."

Jim explained he was about 100 yards away.

"It was a parking situation," he said.

Lia attributed her anxiety to abandonment issues.

She referred to Jim as both her mom and dad in the interview.

"When I needed new underwear, we went to Walmart," Lia said of a much earlier excursion with Jim.

Lia wore a Looney Tunes sweatshirt for the interview. She maintains she knows all the characters despite her youthful age.

Two youngest girls in family are sisters

Alivia and Aven are the relative newcomers. Alivia said she is glad their older sister, who is now an adult, is no longer part of the household.

"It's perfectly fine," she said. "It's been a lot less stressful."

Alivia says she has more freedom with the Shaums, along with more peace.

"There was always arguments, broken glass, dishes, drugs," she said of her previous home.

Having two extra siblings can still get a little hectic.

"They're OK," Alivia said of Nick and Lia. "They can get extremely annoying."

From the kitchen, Lia replied, "You're welcome."

Actually, the four kids showed an ease and comfort level with each other that suggested a real family. Alivia and Lia participated together in the Royal Guard, Ontario High School's version of flag corps, during football season.

Nick played on the team last year but missed this past season because of a knee injury.

At age 11, Aven is the only sibling who is not a teenager. She said she can't hang out with her older siblings too much.

Aven enjoys dancing, choir and band, where she plays clarinet. She also loves to write and looks forward to Power of the Pen writing competition next school year.

"Aven is exactly the way I was when I was her age — a bookworm, loves school," Melinda said.

Family, it would seem, is what you make it, at least for the Shaums.

"Family to me isn't blood or biological," Lia said. "It's who's there for you and who sticks by you."

mcaudill@gannett.com

419-521-7219

Twitter: @MNJCaudill

How to help

Anyone who would like to make a donation to the Shaum family can do so through Ontario United Methodist Church, 3540 Park Avenue West, Ontario OH 44906. Note Shaum family in a memo line.

This article originally appeared on Mansfield News Journal: Ontario couple takes in 4 kids from troubled backgrounds