Good Neighbor Fund: Mother gets back on her feet
Dec. 25—Megan Riddle, a full-time student at Leeward Community College and mother of two, hopes to use her own experiences and newfound education to one day become a faith-based substance abuse counselor to help others overcome struggles similar to those she faced throughout most of her life.
She is almost a year away from earning an associate degree in health information technology at LCC, where she also works part time.
"I used to drink, I used to party," said Riddle, 30. "Now I'm going on three years sober, which I'm really breaking a huge pattern."
Riddle, who spent her childhood in North Carolina, said her parents struggled with substance abuse for as long as she can remember. Although her grandmother took her in when she was born, Riddle recalls visiting her parents and learning how to care for her mother when she suffered hangovers and how to deal drugs from her father.
She moved out from her grandmother's house at 14, opting to sleep at various friends' houses from night to night. When Riddle turned 18, she signed her first lease on an apartment and began attending college. However, she said, her party ways and drug dealing led to an arrest and she had to leave school.
"It broke my heart," said Riddle, who had ambitions of becoming a probation officer. "I went downhill from there. ... I just kept selling."
She said she continued her self-destructive lifestyle for most of her 20s, only sobering up for the nine months she was pregnant with her daughter, Nova. In 2020, Riddle moved to Hawaii to live with a man she met through an online dating site.
It was her first serious relationship and she quickly became pregnant with her second child. However, Riddle said she soon realized the man she moved in with wasn't the person he had pretended to be online.
"I kind of got catfished," she said. "He told me he was independent and self- sufficient but he was actually very spoiled and entitled."
Riddle quickly sobered up when she learned she was pregnant, further affecting her relationship with her boyfriend. "It caused him shame and guilt that turned into rage and anger," she said. "I chose to quit and it embarrassed him."
He would often call her names, she said, throw things at her and keep her from going outside and meeting new people. He also maxed out two of Riddle's credit cards, ruining her credit score, and drained her savings account.
She initially endured the abuse but immediately drew a line when he turned his anger toward Nova. Riddle said she reached out to a domestic violence hotline and moved into a shelter at seven months pregnant. She stayed there for about a year, giving birth to her son, Neo. Riddle said the shelter staff helped her sign up for domestic violence support groups and encouraged her to reenroll in college.
Neo is now 2 years old and Riddle homeschools Nova, who is 6. Despite her busy schedule, Riddle still finds time to take her family of three to jiu-jitsu classes. After getting her associate degree, she hopes to eventually apply to the University of Hawaii to pursue a bachelor's degree.
"I really hope that someone reads this and they realize that you can get away, you can get out and you can start over," she said
For Christmas, Nova would like a miniature dollhouse or Minecoins she can use to play the Minecraft video game. Neo would like a toy firetruck or other service vehicle, and Riddle said she needs new tires for her car.
------
Linsey Dower covers ethnic and cultural affairs and is a corps member of Report for America, a national service organization that places journalists in local newsrooms to report on undercovered issues and communities.
------
