In 'My Government Means to Kill Me,' vibrant life shines through the AIDS crisis

“Why did the promises of America the beautiful, America the land of liberty, and America the shining city upon a hill ring false to me? ... Because my government means to kill me. Amen! Amen and glory hallelujah! At last, I could explain the force shaping my existence.”

This epiphany is a pivotal moment for Earl “Trey” Singleton III, the Black gay protagonist in Rasheed Newson’s debut novel. Trey, who grew up with money in the Midwest, runs away to New York City at the height of the AIDS crisis at the beginning of the book.

Titled after Trey’s realization, “My Government Means to Kill Me” is full of life and sex even as the characters contemplate a deadly epidemic.

This book also is full of rich historical references to real people and moments that shaped the 1980s and 1990s. In fact, Newson packs so much into the novel, he uses footnotes for readers who aren’t familiar with the time period. Newson said he included footnotes so readers with more background knowledge could skip what they know, while readers with less information could learn more about Black and gay history.

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“I presumed that the audience for this book would mostly be young, LGBTQ+ individuals who were not alive when any of this happened. And they might have heard some of it, but we don't actually do a great job of teaching LGBTQ+ history in school. So I couldn't assume that they would know it,” he said. “It became a fun way to remind the reader that this particular moment is built on all these other movements.”

“My Government Means to Kill Me” is a pick for the Nov. 5-6 Texas Book Festival, and Newson will speak on a Saturday panel.

The book touches on the work of activists including Bayard Rustin, Dorothy Cotton, Larry Kramer and representations of countless others who dedicated their lives to helping those dying of AIDS.

Newson, who is Black and gay, said his inspiration to explore this time period came from a curiosity about what he might have done had he lived through the civil rights movement or the AIDS crisis. He said there is also a lot we can learn about how members of organizations like ACT UP, who organized political protests in response to AIDS, responded to the moment they lived in.

“(In the ’80s) you've got a lot of people who have been through the civil rights movement, women's lib, the anti-Vietnam War movement. This was their fourth or fifth movement,” he said. “There was just a lot of expertise alive and available at that time, which I think made the gay rights movement and ACT UP very potent.”

Newson said he immersed himself in oral histories and other first-hand sources from the gay rights movement to inform his storytelling. He also said it was important to write a book that was not just about sadness and grief.

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“It was a sad time and there are heavy elements of the book, but one of the things I wanted to hit on — and I think this is something I credit to Black culture and gay culture — in both groups, no matter how much we've been oppressed, we have been able to steal away our own joy,” he said. “It was important for me to have that reflected, that even while people were fighting the AIDS crisis, they still laughed. They still had sex. They still partied. That's how you survive, otherwise you would probably go mad.”

The desire to breathe life and joy into the story comes through and makes this book less devastating to read than other books and movies that address the same time period (think “How to Survive a Plague” or “It’s a Sin”).

“I want readers to know that serious political books can also be sexy and funny. It's OK to laugh,” he said. “I think sometimes when we read something serious, we assume it's going to be humorless. And I think that life isn't that way. Neither is this book.”

Newson said there is still plenty he feels modern readers can learn about the activist movements of the last century, not least because the struggles for racial justice and LGBTQ equality are still ongoing. He said he wants young people to remember that many of the great activists of history did not start with grand visions or master plans, which is part of why he decided to write through the eyes of a character who was still figuring himself out.

“There's something to be said about just addressing the needs in front of you. And movements build around that effort, it's alright but you don't have all the answers,” he said. “When you start, you just need to start.”

Rasheed Newson at Texas Book Festival

Newson will talk about his book, “My Government Means to Kill Me," at 1:30 p.m. Saturday in a panel called Love, Found Families, and Activism During the AIDS Crisis with writer Ernesto Mestre-Reed ("Sacrificio").

See the full book fest schedule at www.texasbookfestival.org.

This article originally appeared on Austin American-Statesman: Rasheed Newson's debut novel brings joy and anger to the AIDS crisis