POLK COUNTY, Fla. (WFLA) — It’s time for the most iconic quotes from Polk County’s top cop, Sheriff Grady Judd.

Over the year, Sheriff Judd has made countless off-the-cuff statements, ranging from sassy to snarky.

Top 10 wackiest Florida Man (and Woman) stories of 2023

WFLA has compiled a list of the best and most memorable quotes from the sheriff in 2023.

Moments featured in the video:

“I have seen some craziness in my life, but this is the beginning of 2023, then we’ve got a lot of craziness to see this year.”

Grady Judd was referencing two burglars who called 911 on themselves from a home they broke into, asking deputies to drive them to the airport to go back to New York.

“This one smells like armpit.”

In the fall, a local coffee shop launched “Java Judd,” where the Sheriff did a live taste test of the coffees named after him.

“They don’t know beans from buttermilk about what’s happening in the community.”

The sheriff made this remark regarding a drive-by shooting in Polk County.

“This guy may be like the dumbest person on the face of the Earth. I mean, I’m just guessing.”

Another WFLA favorite is this quote about the same burglars who called 911 on themselves. Ouch…

“But given the circumstances in New York City, hey, maybe the county jail in Polk County is better than New York City. It’s certainly safer than New York City.”

Two burglars who called 911 on themselves after breaking into a home got to spend more time together in the Polk County jail cells.

“If you notice Koda is not looking at her cellphone, not looking at her driver’s license, she’s not being reckless, she’s just being cool.”

Grady Judd teamed up with Koda the Fluff, a “little dog doing big things,” to help spread a message about road safety.

“Well, grits for brains…”

During another press conference, Sheriff Judd had enough of a suspect and began his statement with this sassy remark.

“If you perpetuate that position, then you’re just a nut. You’re crazy. You’re out of your mind.”

Judd said about a suspect involved in a family-run fentanyl ring.

“Is this kinda like tasting wine?”

Judd asked this hilarious question as he went to take a sip of a Java Judd flavor.

More iconic quotes:

• “And you go, ‘Well, he might have had a mental health issue,’ well, of course he did. People don’t murder people unless they’re nut-so.”

• “Because you got some morons driving this old POS van, and they can’t see this big crash in the middle of the road with cars all twisted around.” Full story here.

• “Hope your favorite college football team wins, unless your favorite team is playing against the Gators because this year, they need all the help they can get.” Full story here.

• “They tried to treat us with fentanyl and we tricked them with an arrest.” Full story here.

• “But what do these POS’ do? They shoot up the wrong house. Did you hear what I said? They shot up the wrong house.” Full story here.

• “Nobody should lie to their doctor, their lawyer, or a law enforcement officer, but surprise — they lied to all three.”

• “She’s gone into the side yard into the hedge area and she’s popped a squat and shown us her shiny rear end while she goes to the bathroom in these people’s hedges. That’s right, it’s trespassing.” Full story here.

• “None of these people are ever welcome on Home Depot property. So from now on, if they step one foot onto Home Depot property, we’re going to put their shiny hiney in the county jail.” Full story here.

• “Well, what do you think, honey?” Grady Judd said, holding up a man’s mugshot to the mugshot of the suspect’s girlfriend. “Well, we’re not in New York anymore. Give me a kiss goodbye,” Judd mimicked as he put the two mugshots together to “kiss.” “Cause we’re not going to get to stay in the same jail cell in Polk County.” Full story here.

Grady Judd’s best one-liners:

• “He’s a coward then. He’s a coward now.” Full story here.

• “Did you hear what I said, I didn’t stutter.”

• “I’m sober as most judges right now.”

• “And cool warms up real quick in the morning. When the beer’s warm, it’s no more fun.” Full story here.

• “Anybody who murders somebody has a hitch in your giddyup.”

• “If I got legs in my pants today, he’s out there committing crime.” Full story here.

A few favorites that didn’t make it on camera, but are still worth the hype:

• “Did he appreciate the probation? No.” Full story here.

• If you recognize the man and the tattoo call us. We can give you some cash and we’ll take him to Gradytown.” Full story here.

• “Oh my God, not Grady Judd. Are you f***ing serious? This really sucks because you guys don’t play in Polk County.” Full story here.

• “This guy is a true menace to society, and we want to ensure that he gets sent back to state prison for a fourth time, and hopefully, he’ll stay there for quite a while. Full story here.

• “If you kick my door in, in the middle of the night, I will kill you graveyard dead.” Full story here.

• “What Joshua learned is don’t try that in a small town. If you do, you get shot – you get shot a lot. You don’t try that in Polk County.” Full story here.

• “I’m really sorry that he got hurt. I’m just sorry that he didn’t have a baseball bat and could have leveled the playing field at that time.” Full story here.

• “They wanted to act like some big bad boys, and now they’re charged with big bad-boy crimes.” Full story here.

• “Ultimately though, there is one final judgment he has to face—and based on the kind of person he was, I doubt that goes well for him.” Full story here.

• “That’s a free Christmas present from Santa Grady. Lock up your stuff and you get to keep it. Otherwise, Santa criminal Grinch will have it and give it to their kids or their associates for Christmas.” Full story here.

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