Had he wooed Carollo, the police chief’s sexy dance moves would be a hit in Cuban Miami | Opinion

If celebrity police chief Art Acevedo were the kind of Republican that today’s zany Cuban Miami prefers, a Trump-loving one, his one-size-too-tight Elvis Presley pants and sexy dance moves would be all the rage in this town.

After all, crass is part of that brand.

Had Acevedo made it a priority, as the new Cuban kid in town, to woo Miami Commissioner Joe Carollo and his accomplices on the commission, Alex Diaz de la Portilla and Manolo Reyes — say, share a cigar de macho a macho — his past may have never gotten an audience.

Acevedo playfully swatting a fellow dancer’s behind, dressed in uniform, at a fundraiser for a good cause?

No problema.

His c-----s would be praised instead of exhibited, literally on paused video, at a City Hall meeting to discredit a police chief known for his embrace of reform and community policing that actually builds real relationships in communities of color, instead of pretending.

Not the ‘right’ kind of Cuban

But Acevedo, a moderate Republican like the mayor, isn’t the kind of Cuban Carollo favors.

A Trump critic and a Cuban American who didn’t grow up in Miami, Acevedo is a 21st century chief operating in the post-George Floyd era. In Miami, his attention immediately went to improving policing in the Black community.

That, and the fact he was recruited by Carollo’s political nemesis, Mayor Francis Suarez, is why the commissioner held an inquisition Monday — and Miamians were treated to the most outrageous behavior we’ve seen from an elected public official.

Which is saying a lot. We’ve been the butt of jokes in national media and late-night comedy for decades.

Crotch shots and pot shots: Miami police chief’s dance moves highlighted in odd hearing

Man parts the highlight

The highlight of the meeting, which began an hour late at 11 a.m. and ended a little past 6 p.m. with a two-hour lunch break (yeah, they don’t sweat it, the public can wait, or eat cake): Carollo ordering that a video of Acevedo imitating Elvis be played again and again — and stopped, freezing the spot where Acevedo’s swing accentuates the chief’s genitals.

Then, Carollo goes on to say that he doesn’t wear tight pants like this, except that when he played football, the outline you might have seen was that of his jockstrap.

For real.

No discussion about the chief’s job performance in Miami, no evaluation of his presence in the community, which Acevedo has made a top priority and, according to some Black residents who spoke, to which he has brought some positive change.

The only thing on the agenda was staging a coup d’état.

Don’t let Carollo stage a coup in the Miami Police Department. Give Chief Acevedo a chance | Opinion

Celebrity chief vs. crazy Joe

Carollo spent hours rambling about the chief’s past in California and Texas in his signature monotone voice and desynchronized grammar. Adding to folklore, outside City Hall roamed a truck outfitted with LED billboards blasting a 2005 newscast from when Carollo was arrested on a domestic-violence charge.

He’s not nicknamed “Crazy Joe” for nothing.

But, thankfully, some residents didn’t let him get away with the shenanigans without calling out the farce.

“Who among you can throw a stone?” challenged a Black man who described himself as a former police defense trainer. “Same thing you have on the chief, they have on all of us.”

This resident said he was “pleased” with Acevedo “seeking to be accountable” in his community where the chief has vowed to “stop the killing of Black boys” and have police “be accountable and stop hiding at night behind the Walgreens store.”

The whole point of bringing Acevedo, an outsider, was to effect this kind of change.

But, as Acevedo has charged in an eight-page memo, commissioners are improperly meddling and trying to sabotage his efforts.

It’s no wonder this is Miami’s sixth police chief in 11 years.

It’s no wonder the Miami Police Department had been under Justice Department oversight during the past five. Earlier this year, the federal supervision, which began after the police killing of seven Black men, ended.

Acevedo’s appointment by City Manager Art Noriega, who was chastised throughout the meeting by Carollo and Co. for not “using Google” to research Acevedo, was supposed to represent a new start.

But what he would have found on YouTube is a video of the chief bidding an emotional goodbye in Houston, his voice cracking when he said he was coming to Miami because that’s where “this 4 1/2-year-old kid landed with his parents, and that’s where the journey began.”

And then, giving the exact date of arrival, as Cuban Americans often do: Dec. 12, 1968, a Freedom Flight.

The nostalgia is so Miami and, when marked by flight and arrival, so Cuban. Only the chief underestimated the deep tentacles of this city’s dirty politics in the hands of loco Joe.