Halloween heartbreak marks shift from childhood to adulthood | THE MOM STOP

I’m not sure at what age I stopped trick-or-treating.

I faintly remember putting on a bunny mask and a white sweatshirt and going door-to-door on Halloween with friends in junior high school. But by the time I got into high school, I really don’t remember. I likely stayed at home, feeling too old for the vestiges of childhood.

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Now, as the mother of a high school freshman, I want her to go out and enjoy the childhood traditions, while they last.

As a homeowner, I can remember being skeptical of teenagers taller than I am, often without costume, trick-or-treating door-to-door. I’d still give them candy, but wondered why they were still participating if they were nearly grown. Now, however, I realize that some kids may not have a costume to wear. Others may still want to get free candy and participate in the fun while they still can, which I fully support.

And so, with my 14-year-old, the discussion began a month ago about whether she was going to trick-or-treat. She said yes, and proceeded to plan her costume, which meant debating over an obscure anime costume that was overpriced on many sites, unless we ordered a cheap version from China.

I agreed to order, but only if she stayed within budget, which meant ordering the costume from a somewhat questionable website that would take three weeks or more to ship to the U.S. But, that is what my daughter wanted, and it was one of the few costumes I would agree to that wasn’t overly revealing or too sexualized for a young teenage girl.

Fast forward three weeks, and I found myself standing at the post office counter with a tracking number in hand, trying to find a package that the tracking said had been at our post office for over a week. But the postal worker asid that it never arrived in Tuscaloosa, and was likely “lost in transit.”

Now, my daughter’s “Scream” costume from last year still fits and she has a number of other, homemade costumes she could creatively whip up to go trick-or-treating. But when I gave her the bad news about the costume she had her heart set on, she said she just wouldn’t go trick-or-treating this year.

My heart sank.

As a mom, maybe it’s another rite of passage into adulthood, like finding out the truth about Santa Claus or losing the last tooth and having a “last” visit from the tooth fairy. Or maybe it’s like the last bedtime book story or last piggy back ride — you don’t realize it’s the last until it’s long done.

“Are you sure you just don’t want to go out with your friends?” I asked my teenage daughter. “You can wear a different costume.”

Our girl shrugged, visibly disappointed. “Maybe,” she replied.

The decision is still out as to whether she’ll go trick-or-treating. I realize it won’t be the end of the world if she doesn’t go. It would actually be convenient for us to have someone who stays at home to hand out candy, so that my husband and I can go trick-or-treating with our two younger kids who still want us with them as they go around the neighborhood.

Still, my heart breaks a little, knowing this year may be another one of those years, silently marking the shift from childhood to adulthood.

Lydia Seabol Avant writes The Mom Stop for The Tuscaloosa News. Reach her at momstopcolumn@gmail.com.

This article originally appeared on The Tuscaloosa News: Halloween heartbreak marks shift toward adulthood | THE MOM STOP