Hannah Brown Just Apologized on Camera for Using the N-Word: ‘Do Not Defend Me’

Former Bachelorette Hannah Brown just apologize on camera for the first time since using the N-word on an Instagram Live earlier this May.

Brown originally sparked outrage online for using the slur while singing along to DaBaby’s “Rockstar.” Fans and fellow Bachelor Nation alums were not only furious with Brown over the video but were also dissatisfied with her written apology a few hours later. “I owe you all a major apology. There is no excuse and I will not justify what I said,” she wrote on May 17. “I have read your messages and seen the hurt I have caused. I own it all. I am terribly sorry and know that whether in public or private, this language is unacceptable. I promise to do better.”

Another former Bachelorette, Rachel Lindsay, later discussed with Nick Viall her disappointment, saying that she had spoken with Brown and was expecting the Alabama native to go address the issue directly.

“When Hannah and I talked, she wanted to know what my thought was as to what she should do,” Lindsay said on Viall's podcast, per E! News. “She said, ‘I want to ask you.’ And she was very remorseful. She was very upset. She was embarrassed. She was admitting she was wrong, and she said she wanted to go on a Live. She was going to go first and then bring me on. Twice she got off the phone with me to tell me, ‘Okay, I’m going to go do it. I’m just going to go get ready.’ Hours later, nothing. Then we would talk on the phone. And then, hours later, nothing again until it was ultimately decided she wanted to do a statement.”

Now, amid Black Lives Matter protests, pain, and rage across the nation over the death of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and countless other black Americans who've been killed at the hands of the police, Brown apologized again on May 30. First she posted this quote on Instagram:

Then she went live. "I've been trying for a long time to figure out how I would address everything," Brown began her Instagram Live, which is now available to view on her feed. "I wanted it to be the right time, and I've been so concerned with not...taking up space with all the events going on and the death of George Floyd happening and there's so much suffering and anger and I didn't want to offend anybody. But I realized it's not about the right time; it's about the right thing."

She continued to say that as a white person she wants to use her platform and take accountability. "I have some things and responsibilities that I need to take accountability for," Brown said. "I've realized the most impactful thing I can do is talk to people like me and not be complicit with the problem."

You can watch the entire 17-minute video, below:

Toward the end of her broadcast, Brown asked her fans for one thing. "Do not defend me. What I did—what I said—was indefensible," she told her supporters. "Do not send hateful messages to people who are holding me accountable. If you want to support me, then just continue to encourage me to be better and go on this journey with me. I have so many resources now and have been educated in a way that I ever have before and it has lit a fire inside me to not be a part of this problem anymore and you shouldn't either...but I don't need anybody to defend me for what I did because what I said and what I did was wrong."

"What I did was wrong, but what I didn't know even before was the worst part of it," Brown continued. "And it's the ignorance. But I'm no longer ignorant and I am no longer going to be a part of the problem."

Before signing off, Brown acknowledged that she will have to earn back trust from those she hurt and offended. “I also understand that you have to grow trust for people, especially when someone’s hurt you. I hope that I’ll be able to do that," she said. "So yeah, thank you. I guess that's what I have. I appreciate you all. I'll be better."

Originally Appeared on Glamour