What happens when a narcissist finds themselves in an abusive relationship?

Narcissists regularly traumatize their partners. They gaslight. They hoover. They love bomb.

But if that partner is a fellow narcissist, can they fall victim to narcissistic abuse too?

Experts say yes. Plus, narcissists can actually harm each other more than non-narcissists. That's because healthy people can more readily bounce back from these devastating blows – and narcissistic people might not even believe it's happening to them.

"For a healthy person, healing is possible because you can push back beyond that ego injury to heal," Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and author of "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" said in a YouTube video on the subject. "For a narcissistic person who is being narcissistically abused, the chronic ego injuries are simply not tenable."

What the sliding scale of narcissism looks like

No matter which way you slice it, a narcissist is a narcissist. But different types exist on a continuum.

"On the mild side of narcissism we tend to see more of the superficial egocentric stuff, more emotionally immature, need superficial validation, but the manipulation and exploitative behavior is not nearly as toxic," Durvasula tells USA TODAY. "The lack of empathy feels more of an adolescent immaturity than a deep invalidation."

As for severe narcissism, think "verbal abuse, control, coercion, gaslighting, isolation, systematically breaking someone else down," Durvasula adds.

But whichever level someone falls under, they lack critical self-awareness. "There is less reflective capacity for them to clearly observe how they are affecting other people and how they are affected," Durvasula says. "That will impair not only healing but also insight."

'Very unhealthy interaction'

Narcissists often romantically pair up – and in doing so, mutually engage in emotional and physical abuse.

"They're drawn to one another, and it leads to very unhealthy interaction," says Craig Malkin, psychologist and author of "Rethinking Narcissism."

These pairings aren't always between two grandiose, boisterous narcissists. A more overt narcissist may find a partner in a covert narcissist, i.e., one who may appear kind and compassionate on the outside but harbors narcissistic traits beneath the surface. The covert narcissist might envy the overt, resulting in an unconscious attraction.

"The person who perhaps is more mildly narcissistic will experience similar fallout to other people who have experienced narcissistic relationships – such as anxiety, frustration," Durvasula says. "However, it may very well be that when a narcissistic person is in a relationship with another narcissist, they may be less prone to self-blame so it becomes a responsibility hot potato game – also contributing to the volatility."

Either way, both have blind spots, and the person with fewer narcissistic traits might not even understand what's happening.

"There may be tremendous mistrust in these relationships, lots of accusations of betrayal and the oppositional egocentricity means that there is lots of hot-headedness about how the relationship is unfair to the other," Durvasula says.

These relationships typically don't last all that long "unless one of the partners has more extreme dominant traits," says Janie Lacy, psychotherapist. In this case, they could compete with one another and feed off each other's egos.

Is there hope to leave these relationships?

Yes – but it's tricky.

Of course, narcissists are humans too. "They also have happy chemicals like you do, like how I do," says Manjit Ruprai, a narcissistic abuse recovery therapist and author of "Survival Guide for Toxic Narcissistic Relationships." "They've got oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, theirs is on fire, too. It's probably a bit more erratic than ours."

They may seek both individual and couple's therapy to try and work through their issues (but don't count on a narcissist to be that self-aware). Whenever the person with fewer narcissistic traits is ready to leave the relationship, they should keep their intentions to themselves. Otherwise, they risk the other person manipulating them into staying.

"It is possible for them to leave these relationships and move on with their life," Lacy says. "It's just more difficult because they have these blind spots. They can't see their own toxic traits. So they become a victim. And when you're dealing with two narcissistic people, they both are vying for that victim position."

It can be harder for them to accept they need help.

Durvasula adds: "If they don’t heal, these cycles may not only persist but there is a risk of depression, clinically significant anxiety and perhaps even attempting to numb or regulate using maladaptive coping such as substances or alcohol."

More on narcissism, gaslighting

The narcissism guide you need: Narcissist, gaslighting, love bombing: A guide to all the buzzwords around narcissism

There's always a new term: Feeling like you've been subtly tricked? It might be 'ambient gaslighting.'

Hmm: Are you unintentionally enabling the narcissist in your life? Here's how to tell.

Interesting: Is your boss gaslighting you? Know the signs.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: When a narcissist finds themselves in an abusive relationship? Trauma