'Hardest thing is saying goodbye': Sterling couple answer call of fostering for 20 years

Foster parents are in seriously short supply in Wayne County, where children removed from their biological family need a home and substitute family they can count on.

At this time, Wayne County Children Services has more than 100 children in its care, about 29 foster families available and the need for a minimum of more than 50 foster homes.

If any couple can offer an encouraging word about taking on the role, it's Lonnie and Kimberly Blevins of Sterling.

They have cared for at least 38 children, some of them twice, Kimberly Blevins said, over a period of 20 years working with Children Services.

Earlier in their service, they also took on respite care.

"Mostly from birth to 10 is our favorite," she said, "but we've had a few teens."

A sign from God got them started as foster parents

Foster care was an idea they had tossed around, Lonnie Blevins said, but a sign from God confirmed it for them.

Kimberly said back then she used the former time and temperature phone call, which seemed to be consistently accompanied by a promotional seeking foster parents.

When they also saw a billboard, she said, " I think God is trying to tell me something."

They have four children, two of them adopted and two of them biological, who were 5 and 13 years of age when they began foster parenting.

Their motivation was compassion for "so many children," said Kimberly, lacking "a stable, loving, nurturing environment ... and healthy relationships."

Many have been physically and emotionally abused, she said.

They need structure, a mom and a dad, and to know where their next meal is coming from, Lonnie said.

Basically, he said, "You're helping to raise other people's children."

"To give them a chance to succeed in life," Kimberly said.

The benefit is mutual, according to them.

"The pitfall is becoming too attached," Lonnie said. "They steal your hearts."

While some are too timid, he said, others cross the threshold of their home and almost immediately start calling them Mom and Dad.

"The hardest thing is saying goodbye," Kimberly said. "I cry and cry and cry."

The challenges and the rewards

The Blevinses don't underestimate the challenges.

Kimberly said being a foster parent requires "flexibility, patience and a lot of love."

Transportation to handle a variety of needs, from medical to counseling to visitations for the children, is one of the constant responsibilities.

"She's Mom," Lonnie said.

But it's all worth it, according to Kimberly, "when they come (here) so down, and you crack that and see that smile," breaking a cycle of trauma.

"These kids have been through a lot."

Favorite activities

One of her foster children's favorite activities over the years is camping, even if it's just 15 minutes away, she said.

"Most of the kids haven't had anything like that," she said. Often, a movie night with snacks "is all it takes."

The number of children in the custody of Wayne County Children Services fluctuates from day to day, said Anna Fink, public relations and community events coordinator.

While drug abuse among parents is a problem, it's not the only reason for children being removed from their homes.

"There are a lot of complex reasons," Fink said. "Opioids are a contributor."

Who can become a foster parent?

According to information provided by Wayne County Children Services, adults 18 and over, married, single, divorced, same sex couples and senior citizens may become foster parents.

They may live in an apartment, and compensation is given for daycare, food, clothes and entertainment. Foster parents are not responsible for a child's health insurance or school lunches.

A new process called pre-service is part of the procedure for helping beginning foster parents work through all the necessary protocol and licensing.

Referring to home inspections, Fink said, "Social workers are not there to judge dust," but rather check safety criteria.

Additional information is available on waynecsb.org.

"Foster parents are a critical asset in assisting our agency in meeting our mission in serving children and families," said Deanna Nichols-Stika, executive director of Wayne County Children Services, in a statement.

The need for foster parents is great

"Foster parents are needed across Wayne County to support children staying in their home communities surrounded by the people and resources they know," Nichols-Stika said.

Kimberly Blevins said Wayne County Children Services has been a blessing to work with, going over and above the call of duty in assisting and caring for foster parents as well as the children.

The rule-of-thumb for the length of a child's stay is one year, she said. "When you hit the two-year mark, something needs to be done."

"The ultimate goal is reunification with parents," Fink said, or kinship care.

"Or try to find a (permanent) family," Kimberly said.

"Children that can stay in their community while in foster care experience significantly less trauma vs. when there are no homes to place them locally," rather than foster children ending up hours away or even out of state, Fink said in additional information offered in an email.

"We have a great community and want to be able to keep children locally so we can serve their needs best."

This article originally appeared on The Daily Record: Wayne County short on foster homes; Sterling couple attests to the need