'It's all about healing': Gabby's Grief Center finishes center, adds new offerings

MONROE — In 2019, Gabby’s Grief Center held a ribbon-cutting ceremony for its new building on North Monroe Street. Although it’s been in use since then, portions of the building were unfinished.

Recently, all the work was completed. Today, Gabby’s Grief Center is using the full space — even the large basement — to support grieving people in Monroe County and surrounding areas. In 2023, Gabby’s served 2,917 people. All its services are free.

“I just love it. We use every square inch,” said Kaye Lani Wilson, executive director and a nurse. “We are the hub for all things grief. Our commitment is that no one journeys through grief alone.”

Before the pandemic, Gabby’s, which began in 2001, bought the building at 2262 N. Monroe St., the former location of builder Tom Beste and, later, an architectural firm. The building was purchased with donations from ProMedica Advocacy Area, the La-Z-Boy Foundation and other donors.

“It’s all paid for,” Wilson said.

The building’s previously unfinished loft and basement were recently completed, also with donations.

“It was all gifted. We have great donors,” Wilson said. “We are so grateful for all gifts.”

The project included the addition of an ADA-accessible elevator and a refreshed upper floor loft that has space for grief support groups and book clubs. There’s also a view of the outdoors.

“For social wellness,” Wilson said.

But, the biggest change is in the basement. Now, several new spaces are dedicated to grief support and healing.

There’s a room for imaginative play, where children and even teens can work through their grief with materials like puppets and small playhouses.

The Energy Room has padded walls and punching bags. It's a space where users can travel through all emotions of grief. Another basement room allows more active children to burn up energy before support groups begin.

Kate Longenbarger, Gabby’s program director, is excited about a room she and Wilson are calling Common Bond, a space dedicated to supporting those diagnosed with an advanced serious illness and their families. Inside are a hospital table, doctor stool, a cart with supplies and a big teddy bear. Some of the items were donated by ProMedica.

Recently a young child who just lost her parent to illness came to the room with her caregiver. She seemed to find comfort in the space, even sharing with her caregiver some of what she had wanted to tell her parent.

Longenbarger said youth often say people don’t understand their feelings of grief.

“(Kids say) you understand it here. Not everyone does,” she said.

Longenbarger is a licensed professional counselor who's worked in the grief field for years. She came to Gabby’s three years ago and currently works with about 30 to 40 children and many adults on-site at the center.

She said the average youth stays with Gabby’s programs for 12-18 months, but they often return.

“Many come back when they are older," she said. "When youth experience death by overdose, for example, adults often protect the child and may not give all the details. As the youth ages and their brain develops, they’ll often return to Gabby’s to process the death and what happened."

Longenbarger considered it an honor to help people work through their grief.

“It’s not sad. It’s humbling,” she said. “It’s an honor to be chosen to journey with people working through their grief.”

Gabby’s in the community

While Gabby’s Grief Center offers many services and groups at its center, it also supports grieving people at locations throughout the community.

Longenbarger goes to workplaces to offer support if a co-worker dies. In 2023, she had seven corporate and workplace grief responses.

Gabby’s also works closely with 18 schools in Monroe County. The need is great.

The JAG Institute says one in 12 U.S. children will experience the death of a parent or sibling while in school. In Michigan, that number is one in 11. In Monroe County, it’s one in nine.

“So, in one school class, that could mean three kids,” Longenbarger said.

That statistic doesn’t include the deaths of grandparents and other relatives or the grief that comes from life changes, such as divorce.

Wilson and Longenbarger don’t know for certain why Monroe County’s mortality statistics are higher than average.

“We track the number of kids left behind. What’s the type of loss? We’re getting closer to getting a better handle on that. Drug overdose and COVID impacted our community and impacted our children,” Wilson said.

But, Wilson and Longenbarger do know that childhood grief is having an impact in schools.

“There is a lot of grief acted out in schools,” Longenbarger said.

“Schools are extremely concerned,” Wilson said.

Child bereavement, according to research provided by Gabby’s Grief Center, is known to lead to physical health issues and lower academic success. Research shows that a person who loses a parent before age 26 has a greater chance of violent offenses and criminal convictions.

“This is what will happens if we’re not here,” Wilson said.

Gabby’s is working with the Monroe County Intermediate School District to reach grieving students right in the schools.

“Gabby's has always been so supportive of our students and schools in Monroe County. We are lucky to have a local grief center that is able to provide evidence-informed support to our students,” said Margot Lechlak, mental health crisis coordinator at the Monroe County Intermediate School District.

Lechlak has been at the ISD for almost five years. She supervises a team of licensed mental health professionals that provide therapy services to students in the schools. She's seeing increasing need among Monroe County students.

“We provide crisis and immediate grief response needs in our county. We work with all public schools in Monroe County,” Lechlak said. “We have been called several times this year to support whole schools with staff/teacher loss. We also support on a smaller scale in classrooms and with individual students when there is a parent death. It does seem like each year we see an increase in requests for support. In the immediate grief support, our mental health therapists provide a safe and quiet space for students to begin to process the loss. The level of support needed can vary. On one end we may provide an ear to listen and offer relaxation and emotional regulation strategies, and on the other end, through conversation, we may end up assessing that we need to do a suicide risk assessment.”

Gabby's in the future

Gabby’s Grief Center wants to further expand grief support to the community.

“National data really helped us identify the gaps in service,” Wilson said. “What are the barriers that make our kids not get to us? That’s why we have broadened the off-site school support. We are looking into bus routes to get people here. We are working very hard to meet the needs of the grieving community. It’s about healing. We offer a supportive, judgement-free space. Come to us, we will get you to what you need.”

Helping Gabby’s

Gabby’s Grief Center offers services to people in seven counties in southeast Michigan and northwest Ohio. It runs entirely on donations and receives no state or federal funding. Its services and programs are all free.

This year, Gabby’s began the Saint Gabriel Circle of Hope Annual Sponsorship Program.

“It’s a tiered level of giving,” Wilson said.

Subscribe Now: For all the latest local developments, breaking news and high school sports content.

Gabby’s also accepts monetary donations of all sizes.

“We are so grateful for all sizes of gifts,” she said.

Gabby’s also seeks volunteers.

To learn more donating or volunteering, call 734-242-8773.

To learn more about the Gabby's Grief Center, visit gabbysgriefcenter.org or facebook.com/gabbysladdergriefcenter.

— Contact reporter Suzanne Nolan Wisler at swisler@monroenews.com.

Groups offered by Gabby’s Grief Center

Call for days and times:

• Youth Orientation (for youth and families)

• Synergy Workshops

• Gabbing About Grief (for children)

• Youth in Grief/Parenting Through Grief

• Grief Connects (weekly gatherings)

• Common Bond (serious illnesses and caregivers)

• Untimely Tears (pregnancy and child loss)

• Grief Recovery After Substance Passing

• Suicide Loss Survivors

• Valley Walkers (death of teens or adult children)

• Newly Grieving

• Widowed Friends

• World of Widowhood

Activities for the community

May: Celebrate Children on May 4 at the Mall of Monroe and Butterfly Release on May 28 at Gabby’s Grief Center

June: Camp Fearless, June 25-28 at Riverside Learning Center

July: Waves of Grief, July 17, Rolling Hills Water Park

August: A Day at the Movies, Aug. 21 at Phoenix Theatres at the Mall of Monroe

September: Suicide Vigil, Sept. 10 at St. Mary’s Park

October: Ghosts, Goblins and Grief, Oct. 11 at the Mall of Monroe

November: Night of Remembrance, Nov. 13, at the IHM Motherhouse and GriefShare: Surviving the Holidays, to be announced

December: Create-A-Keepsake, Dec. 13 at Monroe Community Credit Union and GriefShare: Surviving the Holidays, to be announced

This article originally appeared on The Monroe News: 'It's all about healing': Gabby's Grief Center finishes center, adds new offerings