A Heartful Homecoming, The Criss family meet the recipient of their loved one's heart

Dec. 26—PLATTSBURGH — Dwayne Parker has a close relationship with Dalton Criss, and they've never met.

That's why Parker, a 52-year-old U.S. Army veteran, flew from his home in Lexington, Kentucky to Plattsburgh to learn of Dalton whose heart beats within his chest.

HOME TOWN HERO

Dalton Rashad Criss was born July 30, 2001 to Dr. Dexter Criss and Barbara Simmons Criss, and he died on Aug. 20, 2019 after a car accident. In Peru, he left behind his parents, sister, Danielle, and grandmother, Bobbie.

In his three days in the area, Dwayne met the Criss family, sang onstage at the Plattsburgh State Gospel Choir Soulful Christmas concert, visited Dalton's teachers and coaches at Peru Central School, and visited Dalton's graveside in God's Acre Cemetery in Peru.

Dwayne was supported in his emotional visit by Alisha Annette Fuller.

At God's Acre, "Let Your Power Fall" by James Fortune and Zacardi Cortez played in Dwayne's head.

"It was very frightening for me to see Dalton's grave site and to see his face as well as it was a very embracing time for me to just hug him and say thank you," he said.

"Without you man, I wouldn't be here. Without you, I can't call my son and say, 'Hey, how was school? Are you getting your grades? Are you paying attention? I love you.'

"Without you, I can't sit in my kitchen and draw or sit at my computer table and write about love, about anger, about blackness, about the indifference of cultures. Just about.

"I can sit at my computer and write plays about the military, about bullying, about friendship. Thank you so much. There is a lot I want to talk about when I get back home, just me and you."

KENTUCKY BRED

Born June 21, 1971 at Ireland Army Health Clinic at Fort Knox, Kentucky, Dwayne is the son of a 27-year U.S. Army veteran, Pastor Burt Van Edward Parker Jr., and the late Sandra Louise Parker.

The baby boy, he has two older sisters, Vanessa and Pam.

At North Hardin High School, he was a baller, small forward, and ran track — high hurdles, 300 meter hurdles, mile relay and sometimes high jump. A tenor, he also sang in chorale.

PLAN A

Straight out of high school, Dwayne pursued the culinary arts at Sullivan Junior College of Business in Louisville, Kentucky.

After a year, he realized it wasn't for him and he returned home to eventually get a job at Army Air Force Exchange Service (AAFES), where his mother was employed.

"In April 1991, I said, 'Hey Dad, I want to go into the military because this is not working out for me," Dwayne said.

"I don't see myself growing here in Radcliff. Radcliff was more a retirement area during that time."

ARMY ARMOR

During his seven-year-stint in the U.S. Army, Dwayne, a Tanker, served at Fort Pope, Louisiana, 1st 170th Armor Division, Fort Hood, Texas 264th Armor Division, Schweinfurt, Germany to the 1st 77th Armor Division, D Co.

In 1996, he deployed to Bosnia for a year and was attached to the 1st Battalion, 26th Infantry Blue Spaders, 1st Infantry Division. He received a Meritorious Service Medal Award while stationed in Bosnia and was placed as Color Guard director.

At several campsites, he was NCOIC of Petroleum, Oil, and Lubricants for tank companies, tank vehicles, hummers, maintenance vehicles, etc.

After a transferal to Camp Vemi, he was placed second in charge of Petroleum, Oil and Lubricants.

His unit deployed back to Germany in January of 1997. Then, he deployed stateside in April of 1997 to Fort Hood, Texas.

EXIT INTERVIEW

In November 1997, he was separating from the military. During his last physical examination, all hell broke loose.

"I find out that I had torn tissue in my lungs," he said.

"During this process, I was informed by the military that I had cancer. I had six months to live. This took place November 27, 1997. So here I am, Sgt. Dwayne Parker contemplating all this and trying to make it register in my mind and not shed tears and let that toxic manhood take control, and suck it up as we're told and drive on and adapt and overcome."

He was later told, 'Hey, Sgt. Parker. Hey man, we made a mistake. It's just a bacteria. You just need to come back in man and get some antibiotics. Get some Motrin and that should cure that bacteria, and you should be good.'"

HEART ENLARGER

What Dwayne didn't know was that he had sarcoidosis, "a condition that develops when groups of cells in your immune system form red and swollen (inflamed) lumps, called granulomas, in various organs in the body, according to www.nhlbi.nih.gov.

"They said, I probably received that when I came to Germany or after I went to Bosnia," he said.

"Instead of the Army treating me at that moment, they passed the buck to the VA (Veterans Administration) because I out processed the Army on April 4, 1998. In my mind that was enough time to start the process of rectifying it. The VA found out, knew about it, by around February 1999."

Dwayne's disease progressed to where it enlarged his heart, and he didn't know it.

Every time he went to the VA and got X rays of his heart, he was told everything was fine. No problems.

"So you are issuing me inhalers to help me breathe, but everything is fine," he said.

"You are issuing inhalers with steroids to help open my lungs, but everything is fine. I went into the military with perfect health, and I exited the military injured with illness."

RIGHT DIAGNOSIS

Dwayne moved from Dallas to El Paso, Texas in 2010.

"There's one doctor, Dr. Goldsmith, that said 'Hey, I think you have some heart issues,'" he said.

"I'm going to recommend certain things for you to do, and I need you to do this.'"

Dwayne went through a battery of examinations and blood tests to prove the doctor's point.

During this time, he regularly went to the gym but was feeling kind of weak. His body looked good. He felt good. He thought everything was fine. He attributed his fatigue to lack of rest.

December 26, 2015 was the last time he entered a gym.

"I was having mini-heart attacks, and I didn't know it," he said.

"I thought I was overly exhausted by being in the gym. The 26th, 27th, 28th, I was having heart attacks while working out."

Dwayne took five-minute breaks, did a routine, and powered on.

On the third day, Dec. 28, he called a nurse/friend and related his symptoms: diarrhea, sweating profusely, clammy skin.

"She said, "I think you need go to the ER,'" he said.

"'I think you are having a heart attack.'"

Dwayne called another friend in their apartment community to take him to the hospital in Fort Bliss, Texas.

"They called me back to the ER," he said.

"Ten minutes back there, boom, the history begins of being in the hospital if not every week, every two weeks. The first month of January 2016, I was in the hospital."

'SICK DADDY'

For the next three years, Dwayne was in and out of hospitals. He died eight times.

In July 2019, his son, Santiago Dwayne Parker came from Texas for a visit in Kentucky.

"God places angels in people's lives for a reason, and he was my angel and savior at the time on Earth," he said.

"I started teaching my son how to cook at an early age. I'm taking him in the kitchen with me. We're talking things out. He's learning. At the age of 2, he starts taking care of his daddy. He didn't know what was happening. He knew daddy was sick. He was taking care of me."

On his Kentucky visit, Dwayne prayed to God to let him have this last visit with his son, which included a Cincinnati Reds game.

"Sure enough, God heard my prayer," he said.

"On the way back, I was getting Santiago dressed. I put on his pants and shoes. Now, his T-shirt. Now, I'm putting on his shirt. I get it buttoned up and sit him down. As soon as I take my hands off Santiago, boom. I hit the floor."

Pandemonium broke out. His middle sister screamed. Santiago was on the bed with big, scared eyes. His niece ran out and to get his baby sister.

"At this time, I'm back to my feet," he said.

EMTs transport him to the hospital in Cincinnati, Ohio, where he is there for a couple of hours, gets treated, discharged.

DOWN AGAIN

On July 8, 2019, Dwayne was at the VA hospital to file a claim for his heart. While there, he asked for a chair to sit down.

He blacked out. The next thing he knew, he is on the floor being revived, and there are 15 people around him.

"I get rushed to the VA Hospital Emergency Room," he said.

"At this point, I'm medivaced to Richmond, Virginia, Hunter Holmes (McGuire Veterans) Hospital. During my time spent there, I was offered two hearts. I said no to one. The hospital said no to the other.

"The last time, they said, 'Mr. Parker, Dwayne look, you are broken. We have the perfect heart for you. There's nothing wrong with it. It's clean. It's healthy. And, it's yours. Are you ready?'"

Dwayne had spent years sucking it up, fighting for 100% VA disability claims, driving on, like he was trained to do. But there times, he struggled. He divorced, and there was even a suicide attempt after a rupture in his and his father's relationship.

"But when it came down to the moment and seconds of reality hitting, that's when I started panicking," he said.

"The next thing, you know, they said 'We need you to count down. All I remember is 8. I don't remember saying 10. I don't remember saying 9. I just remember saying 8.

"So from the year January 2016, 2017, 2018, counting the seconds to the minute to the hour and asking God to watch over me, came to a final halt. I received my heart. August 22nd of 2019."

HOME COMING

Jennifer Demaroney, RN, the organ donation coordinator at UVM Medical Center, was the one who told Dexter that Dalton was an organ donor, and she was there to facilitate Dwayne and Alisha's visit to the North Country.

"I really feel very fortunate to have been able to be part of the donation journey with the Criss family, and I've gotten to see so many amazing things," Demaroney said.

"I feel like I've gotten to see them from the beginning all the way to meeting Dwayne. and like Dexter said, 'Dalton's heart came home to Plattsburgh.'

"And meeting the person now that is alive because of Dalton, and finding that he is a good man."

Jennifer thinks Dwayne is very similar to Dexter.

"They sound alike," she said.

"They laugh the same. I just felt like he was a very deserving person, and I think a good steward of the gift that he was given of Dalton's heart.

"He was very nervous about coming, very nervous about meeting the family, of the person that had saved his life, and knew enough about Dalton to know how exceptional he was as a person."

Dwayne, a shy guy, likes to avoid large crowds and just observe.

"I just think it was really amazing," Jennifer said.

"I have been doing this for about 25 years, and I have seen exactly two meetings between donor families and recipients.

"It's really just an unbelievable thing to see when you watch the donor family put their hand on the heart of their loved one that's beating in somebody else's chest and being able to watch them listen to that heart beat and know that the person that is standing in front of you has a piece of somebody that you loved so much.

"It's a donation that allows us to have a legacy. We actually saw a person that has life because of this legacy that Dalton Criss left. Talk about an emotional moment, just to see this."

COMEDY OF ERRORS

For Dexter, pre-concert was a comedy of errors keeping Dwayne and Jennifer hidden from his family.

"Understand my choir members love me, I'm sure," he said.

"My choir members will respond to my requests, mostly. But my choir members did not understand why in the world when I had them up on stage in their Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes, and said, 'No, we are not going to take the picture over here, we are going to go to Krinovitz."

Push back was hard from the choir, and even the photographer.

Dexter was emotional trying to hold all this down, but he couldn't risk having his family and choir meet Dwayne while the house was filling up in Giltz.

"They're sitting over in Krinovitz looking half crazy and mad," Dexter said.

"Some people didn't make it over there because they are dragging their feet. I stood before the choir members, and I just gave a speech."

One of the program's songs was "The Gift," which featured soloist Bel Morley and Andrea D. Ogle, associate artistic director, directing the choir.

"The gift that God gives to you, give it back to him," Dexter said quoting the lyrics.

"I said, 'We all know that Dalton was an organ donor, and he gifted the world with his heart. One person is still here on Earth hosting Dalton's heart, that lovely wonderful heart that he had.

"But today, Dalton's heart has returned. I said welcome back to the North Country and to our heart, Dalton's heart, Mr. Dwayne Parker.'"

Email: rcaudell@pressrepublican.com

Twitter@RobinCaudell