How to help your child learn social skills and overcome pandemic awkwardness

Caroline Beck, Indianapolis Star
·5 min read

The COVID-19 pandemic has caused a disruption to children’s normal learning environment for the past two years, making many kids delayed in learning vital social and emotional skills typically taught in classrooms.

Many younger students, those in K-5 grades, are struggling with skills like emotional regulation, understanding their emotions, interacting with other kids, social anxiety and a host of other skills that come with interacting with your peers.

While most Indiana students have been back in a typical classroom setting since this past school year, that doesn’t mean all the social and emotional skills those kids have missed have come back as well.

Students raise their hands to answer a question during Resilience Camp on Tuesday, June 28, 2022, at Spring Mill Elementary School in Indianapolis. Emily Dills, Washington Township's social emotional learning coach, created the week-long summer program for students grades K-5 to help fill learning and social gaps created by the pandemic.
Students raise their hands to answer a question during Resilience Camp on Tuesday, June 28, 2022, at Spring Mill Elementary School in Indianapolis. Emily Dills, Washington Township's social emotional learning coach, created the week-long summer program for students grades K-5 to help fill learning and social gaps created by the pandemic.

Addie Angelov is the executive director for the Paramount Health Data Project, an Indiana-based company that uses data gathered from schools on various things related to child well-being and uses that to help schools and students improve their academic outcomes.

Angelov told IndyStar that the news kids saw over the past two years about record amounts of job loss, deaths and sickness has created a lot of trauma for children and a general sense of fear of returning to society.

“I think it's going to take us several years to get used to our new normal,” Angelov said. “I kind of describe it as like we had a snow globe and we shook it up with COVID and now all the little pieces are settling to the bottom.”

Emily Dills, Washington Township schools’ social emotional learning coach, doesn’t see the situation as completely hopeless though.

Along with helping teach social-emotional skills, Dills told IndyStar she also teaches her students how their brains are constantly growing and kids are ultimately very resilient.

“The outside world has changed but the inside of kids has not,” Dills said. “Kids are kids.”

Here's what parents experiencing this can do:

Give them more structure

Some ways parents can help their children with social and emotional skills is by simply giving them more structure in their lives, Dills told IndyStar.

Limiting social media, getting plenty of outdoor playing time, creating a predictable bedtime and waketime routine for them, are all simple steps Dills recommends parents take for improving their child’s overall mental health.

Talk it out loud

Another part of Dills practice is to help children work through their emotions by talking about it out loud, asking them how a certain incident made them feel, how would that make others feel and how they should respond when they feel a negative or overwhelming emotion.

“Most kids just want to be heard and feel like they are being seen by the adults in the room,” Dills said.

Use affirming language

Dills also models positive behavior around her students like saying thank you and using affirming language when a student ask for more snacks in a polite way or when someone lets others participate in a game with them.

Limit social media

Angleov suggests using an ease in approach by limiting their child’s social media while also introducing them to more in-person activities and playtime with other kids.

“Parents know their kids, but they also have to be thoughtful and not just throw them into the deep end,” Angelov said.

Reach out to a school counselor or social worker

Reaching out to a school’s social worker, counselor or administration office to find additional resources is also an option for parents who are looking for resources within their child’s school.

Unfortunately, not all elementary schools have a school counselor, but ISCA executive director Allen Hill suggests that parents reach out to their district’s office to see what mental health services they specifically provide for their district.

Then reach out to insurance, pediatrician

The next step Hill suggests is for parents to reach out to their insurance provider or their pediatrician for what resources they would suggest.

Jennie Beutler, president of the Indiana School Social Work Association, urges parents to reach out to their school’s principal or their child’s teacher if there isn’t a social worker or counselor available in their school.

“I have never talked to a parent that wishes they had not reached out after they did, if you have concerns please talk to your schools,” Beutler told IndyStar.

Support mental health

Parents can reach out to their local community mental health center, which has one located in each county.

Dills suggests that any parents in Washington township who may see their child struggling with social-emotional skills or need additional help can contact her directly by emailing her at edills@msdwt.k12.in.us.

The National Education Association also has many resources on supporting children’s mental health, including a tip sheet on how to support children’s transition back to being full-time in school. For more information, go to nea.org.

Use statewide resources

Project Aware is a program created in 2018 through a partnership between the Indiana Department of Education and the Indiana Division of Mental Health and Addiction. It is meant to facilitate partnerships between local education agencies and local mental health providers to provide comprehensive mental health care for school-aged youth.

They have resources for parents and teachers, including lesson plans and webinar trainings for teachers on how to implement more school-based social and emotional learning practices.

Project Aware also has activity guides and at-home checklists for parents to use for creating healthy habits and coping techniques. For more information, go to projectawarein.org.

The Indiana School Counselor Association also has a list of resources parents can use at home to help with social emotional learning, as well as calming activities and other mental health aids. For more information, go to isca.wildapricot.org.

Contact IndyStar reporter Caroline Beck at 317-618-5807 or CBeck@gannett.com. Follow her on Twitter: @CarolineB_Indy.

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This article originally appeared on Indianapolis Star: How to help your child with social and emotional skills due to COVID