Help a foster child build a sense of belonging: Give them the gift of community
Five years ago, foster parents Kira and Nathan Howard decided it was the right time to foster a child. They contemplated the idea for a while and finally had the time and space to devote to it. The decision to foster was both exciting and challenging, especially since they didn't have biological children of their own.
With help from a foster care agency, they went through the process and received their first placement the day after Christmas. The holidays with their foster child was a completely new experience, filled with possibilities and opportunities to create lasting memories.
Kira remembers the first time she really felt the purpose of why she wanted to foster. She wanted to welcome their foster child (we’ll call her Daphne, though that is not her real name to protect her privacy) into their home but also wanted to maintain some normal holiday traditions that Daphne would be used to. So, Kira asked, "What does your family usually do for the holidays? Is there anything that you want to do?" Daphne couldn’t think of anything that she would do with her family or wanted to do, so they decided to start their own traditions. They made gingerbread houses, baked cookies, decorated the house and celebrated the holidays like many families do. This was an entirely new experience for everyone involved.
At the start of their foster journey, the Howards had no idea if they'd have their foster for just a week or an entire year, but their commitment to Daphne never wavered. It's been five years since starting their foster care journey, and Daphne is still with them, continuing to build positive, happy memories in a safe and stable environment.
Nathan and Kira say their greatest joy as foster parents has been witnessing Daphne grow and evolve into a child who knows she is safe, valued and loved with a sense of belonging and purpose. In the beginning, Daphne had no memories of important celebrations or what it felt like to have a routine, but now she eagerly looks forward to simple joys in life, like having breakfast together, working on homework, taking trips and just spending time together.
When it comes to advice, the Howards emphasize the importance of having community support, such as family, friends, neighbors and especially a foster agency. The emotional and physical support you receive and the sense of being seen and heard as foster parents play a significant role in being successful foster parents.
They recall how just a few weeks ago their town had a cross-country meet and it was open for kids to participate in a one-mile run. One of the things they do as a family is go on walks and runs, but they had never done a one-mile run before. Daphne wanted to participate, so they signed her up. Everyone from the town showed up to cheer and support Daphne. Neighbors, friends, family and people from their church spread throughout the course shouting encouraging words and cheering for her. Daphne ran the full mile, never stopping, never giving up. It was the most rewarding moment to see her be so proud of herself and feeling the love from everyone in their community.
I am so honored that Kira and Nathan have chosen Anna’s House Foundation as their foster agency. Knowing their story and passion for helping a child in need is what inspires me every day to continue the work I do.
I encourage others to join the fostering community by reaching out to your local foster agency to see how you can help. There are many ways you can support the more than 6,500 children in state custody, through volunteerism, donations and fostering. Oklahoma still needs more than 800 individuals and families across the state to be foster parents.
I believe helping families thrive and become healthier positively impacts our community.
Katherine Craig is executive director of Anna’s House Foundation, a faith-based organization whose mission is to provide immediate, stable and loving homes for Oklahoma's children in state custody.
This article originally appeared on Oklahoman: Foster families positively affect children during holidays and beyond
