How to help young people cope with grief after the Covenant School shooting | Opinion

As a community, we are deeply grieving the loss of Evelyn Dieckhaus, 9; Hallie Scruggs, 9; William Kinney, 9; Cynthia Peak, 61; Katherine Koonce, 60; and Mike Hill, age 61, at The Covenant School.

We are also struggling with the shattered sense of safety that comes from such shocking and unexpected violence.

As the adults, we know we need to comfort and guide the younger members of our community through this crisis. But many of us don’t know where to begin, especially while coping with our own grief.

People pray during a community vigil in response to the Covenant School shooting on Tuesday, March 28, 2023 in Mt. Juliet, Tenn.
People pray during a community vigil in response to the Covenant School shooting on Tuesday, March 28, 2023 in Mt. Juliet, Tenn.

Here are some tips to help you get started.

  1. Start by talking about the shooting. Most teens, and even younger children, will have heard about the shooting from overhearing parents, talking to friends, television, radio or social media. Keeping quiet can make the event even more frightening and won’t let you correct any misinformation they have or respond to their fears.

  2. Understand that children and teens will have individual emotional reactions. Some may experience disruptions of sleep and appetite. They may be anxious, have trouble concentrating or even become more defiant. They may want to stay physically closer to loved ones in the immediate aftermath for a feeling of safety. These responses are all normal and will likely subside in a few weeks.

  3. Encourage questions, and provide honest, direct answers. Children and teens, like adults, are better able to cope when they have information about the situation they are dealing with.

  4. Share information about positive things that are being done in the wake of the crisis. This can include help for victims and their families as well as any personal safety plan your family may have.

  5. Limit media about the shooting. While it is important to discuss what happened, consuming too much media about the event can create more stress and fear and work against the sense of safety you are trying to reestablish for the young people in your life.

More:Covenant School shooting should unite us in grief and resolve | Editorial

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The National Child Traumatic Stress Network is an excellent resource for more information.

Alive’s Grief Center is another. Our counselors specialize in bereavement and work with area schools to support grieving children.

Alive’s Grief Support Team is hosting two free information sessions, “Support Your Grieving Child,” on April 6 to help parents support grieving children in developmentally appropriate ways. Thanks to our generous donors, this class is free.

You can register here: https://www.alivehospice.org/news-events/support-grieving-children-free-information-session-resources/

Together, we will get through this.

Kimberly Goessele is president and CEO of Alive.

This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: Covenant School shooting: Five tips to help children and teens cope