This Henderson woman lost a son in Afghanistan in 2012. Now she helps others with grief.
HENDERSON, Ky. — When she joined the national Gold Star Mothers group following her son's death in 2012, Henderson's Sarah Whitledge Taylor had no idea she'd be the organization's president someday.
She simply wanted to do something with her grief.
Officially known as American Gold Star Mothers, Inc., the group is a nonprofit made up of mothers of children who died serving in the Armed Forces. There are around 1,000 members. Taylor was elected president in June.
"There's nothing more devastating to a mother than losing a child," Taylor said. "While our stories are different, they're also the same. We've each made a choice to not let our grief control us, but instead to reach out to others."
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The group makes visits to veterans in hospitals and nursing homes, as well as gathering coats and backpacks for homeless veterans. They also volunteer for special projects involving veterans within their communities and are part of initiatives like Wreaths Across America.
Like Grace Darling Seibold, the founder of AGSM whose words she often quotes, Taylor said she realized after her son's death that "self-contained grief is self-destructive" and wanted to work through it by helping others.
"We find ways to serve the veterans and their communities," Taylor said. "This is how we choose to work through the loss and grief we feel from losing our children."
On Memorial Day 2012, she met Cathy Mullins of Owensboro, Kentucky, whose son Brandon had also been killed in Afghanistan. The two decided to get the Kentucky state chapter of AGSM up and running. She first got involved with the national board in 2017.
"Honestly, I just thought it was an honor to carry our banner at national events," she said. "I never thought I would stay on the board for long and I never thought I would be the president. These mothers are strong and courageous women, so resilient."
Taylor knows all about being resilient. Her son, Army Spc. David W. Taylor, died in Kandahar, Afghanistan in March 2012, the result of an accident on base as his unit was preparing to go on a five-day mission. He was 20.
"I never asked details because I don't really want to know them," his mother said. "All I know is someone didn't properly secure or dispose of ammunition. About 90 percent of the report was redacted. But I'm at peace with what happened, I just don't want to know that he suffered or was in pain."
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Taylor said a common refrain among Gold Star Mothers is remember how they lived rather than how they died. It's how they keep the memories of their loved ones alive. Taylor said remembering her son in that way makes the pain of his loss more bearable.
"I usually start out by saying he was a handful," she said with a laugh.
"All his life, David wanted to be in the military," she said. "He was a little patriot. He joined the Army two days after his 18th birthday. He was a natural leader. His friends loved him and would have followed him to the ends of the earth.
"As a mom, you always think your kids are pretty cool anyway," she said. "But when I heard people talking about him, I understood he had a really good heart and put others before himself. That made me so proud."
Taylor said after her son's death she was told that he was the first person to welcome a new soldier on base and ask what he could do to help the new arrival.
Hearing the stories of other Gold Star Mothers is something Taylor is passionate about, as well as developing relationships with people who frequently become lifelong friends. She plans to make that a cornerstone of her approach to being the AGSM national president.
"I will try to make sure everyone feels loved and know that they are important to this organization," she said. "And I'll do whatever is in my power to make sure they feel loved, respected and honored and that their child is never forgotten."
This article originally appeared on Henderson Gleaner: Henderson woman the new president of American Gold Star Mothers, Inc.
