Here's Exhibit 23,513,553 That Wearing a Red Dress Shirt Proves You're Insane
Science tells us that there is no surer sign of insanity than wearing a red dress shirt with a suit and tie. It is simply a psycho move. There is no tie that's going to look good with the red dress shirt. There's no suit color that truly works with the red dress shirt. Maybe if it's Halloween and you're going as Tony Montana you can pair the white suit and the red dress shirt with, like, two buttons fastened. But there's no other scenario. You're not going to pull it off. This is the turbo-charged version of the black dress shirt for prom (don't do that either) and it rivals the dark blue dress shirt (good Lord!). Four out of five doctors recommend wearing a white dress shirt as part of a heart-healthy lifestyle. The other doctor is insane.
Still, if you remain unconvinced, gaze upon this Red Dress Shirt out of Tennessee, a state which my colleague, Charles P. Pierce, has rightly diagnosed as recently, but now fully, loco. The man wearing it is testifying in favor of the state legislature's proposed abortion ban, which looks formidably unconstitutional but which, in our current political age, will probably pass with a cash register sound as a bunch of attorneys gear up to litigate it on either side for $500 an hour. (On one side, those bills will be paid with taxpayer money.) Anyway, here's this guy.
CLIP: “I have a conceptual memory of being born.”
Hal Rounds, a witness in favor of the TN GOP’s abortion ban, says abortion is murder because he remembers being born. #TNConceptionBill #TNHeartbeatBill pic.twitter.com/lqyUIxyPIT— The Tennessee Holler (@TheTNHoller) August 15, 2019
Sure, you might say the biggest issue here is that this proud Tea Party member—it's all about fiscal responsibility—is arguing we should revoke women's bodily autonomy because he had a dream. You might say this is a stunning example of how fantastical thinking has invaded our discourse, pushing science and logical inquiry to the wayside in favor of phantasmagorical nonsense. But there's also the shirt. Look at that shirt. That is the shirt of a guy who thinks he can literally remember crawling out of the womb, and that this should be the basis of public policy. It is the shirt of a crazy person. Don't be a Red Shirt Guy.
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