'He's here in spirit': Raeford woman keeps brother's memory alive through foundation
September is a difficult month for Kandi Hoskins.
It's the month, she says, when her grandfather passed away. It's the month when her niece, Hayle Miller, was killed by a stray bullet last year on the way home from a football game — it was the Fayetteville 16-year-old's first night out since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. And September is the month when Hoskins' younger twin siblings, Antwain and Amber, celebrate their birthday — but this year, Antwain won't be there for Kandi to dote on or to make everyone laugh with one of his goofy jokes.
He won't be there because he was lost to gun violence in May.
'A piece of me left'
Antwain Maurice Hoskins died at 22 years old after an altercation at a Raeford Road hookah lounge on May 30 ended in gunfire about 2 a.m. Hoskins was shot in the back during what his sister said should have been a fun night out with friends. According to the Fayetteville Police Department, there has been no arrest in his killing.
According to the autopsy report, after being shot, Antwain Hoskins was able to make it into someone's car to head to the hospital, but the driver stopped and called 911 from a nearby intersection, worried the car would run out of gas. Hoskins went into cardiac arrest in the ambulance and was pronounced dead at Cape Fear Valley Medical Center at 3:46 a.m. His family found out by phone later that morning, according to Kandi Hoskins.
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The loss was crushing, especially because Antwain had overcome so much in his short life, Kandi Hoskins said. She said Antwain and Amber were born prematurely and weighed just 1 pound each at birth. As a result, the twins experienced a slew of health problems, Kandi said. She recalled witnessing Antwain's heart stop and learning how to revive him. Their grandfather would insist that the twins sleep in his bedroom to keep a watch on them, and the babies did just that — up until their grandfather's death two days before their first birthday.
The stress of the twins' medical issues only brought the family closer, Hoskins said.
"I thought I was their third mother," she said. "A lot of people said they weren't going to make it, but I always call them my miracle babies."
Around 2011, Hoskins said, the family moved from Lumberton to Fayetteville to escape rising crime rates in the area.
"We basically just wanted to come somewhere new and try to start over," she said.
Antwain was disabled, according to Hoskins, struggling with deformities of his ears and face, a learning disability and anxiety. He was often bullied growing up, she said, but found an outlet for his pain through music, particularly drums — a hobby that ran in the family. Kandi, their mother and an uncle all played drums at some point.
"It just stuck with Antwain," she said. noting her brother started drumming as a toddler. "He'd just study that one beat until he can make it make sense."
As Antwain, fondly known as Antman by family and friends, grew, his talent grew, too, his sister said. Coming from a family of preachers, he was first invited to play drums at church, then began to get bookings as people noticed his skill. Eventually, Antwain was playing the drums at a gospel music festival hosted at the Crown Complex a radio station. Kandi said. His music took him on the road too, traveling to places like Georgia and South Carolina to perform with several icons from the gospel community like Kirk Franklin and The Clark Sisters.
After so much struggle, Kandi was proud to see her brother do what he loved — but three months ago, that pride was replaced with grief in the wake of Antwain's killing.
"A piece of me left, and I have not been the same since," Hoskins said, her grief catching in her voice.
Comfort in charity
With her baby brother gone, Hoskins had to find a way to keep her brother's memory alive.
"I decided that although my brother's not here, present, he's here in spirit," she said. "I know that he would want his legacy to go on, which is why we started The Antwain Hoskins Foundation."
According to Kandi Hoskins, the foundation's goal is to provide children with positive activities to engage in and outlets to combat the struggles they may face. For the foundation's first event Saturday, Hoskins partnered with Fit for Life gym to offer free gym memberships to three teens; a boxing company provided free boxing classes to young boys; and local music stores handed out free drumsticks emblazoned with the foundation named for her brother. Two children in attendance were awarded drum kits. Hoskins said that she hopes in the future to work with a dance studio to arrange free dance classes for girls, small businesses to help teenagers find jobs and local universities to educate children on their options.
"We want to keep kids involved in the community," Hoskins said. "We can fix this problem; we just have to come together."
One of the problems that she feels contributes to gun violence is a lack of knowledgeabout what resources are available in the community, she explained.
"Some people don't have resources," she said. "They don't know how to go get these resources."
Families affected by gun violence were also invited to speak at the Saturday program, held at Agape Fellowship Missionary Baptist Church in Hope Mills.
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"There were a lot of people that needed to be heard," she said. "There were a lot of people there that needed to be loved, and that's what we feel we did on Saturday."
Hoskins said she planned the event in just under two weeks, calling it a "rush job," but said she was pleased with how it went. One of her next tasks, she said, is to address the lack of activities available for children in Fayetteville.
"There's a bunch of parks and rec centers and things like that, but we need something in Fayetteville," she said. "Let's find something to burn the energy in the kids."
That problem of boredom, she added, is also part of the issue behind gun violence.
"What are you gonna do but find something to do?" Hoskins said. "Nine times out of 10, it's the wrong thing to do or the wrong place."
Hoskins' plans for the foundation's future include officially filing for non-profit status and hosting an event where Antwain's fellow drummer friends can teach children how to play.
"This is just my vision, but maybe, one day, The Antwain Hoskins Foundation can have a building," she said tearfully. "I want to work with children that are disabled and show them how to play music as well, whether they have a learning delay or autism or anything that makes them feel disabled."
The foundation's mission is close to her heart, Hoskins explained, having seen firsthand her brother struggle with his disability.
"We want to be able to give every child a chance," she said. "That's why this means so much to me — because every child deserves a chance. Every last one of them."
Antwain is present in the spirit of the foundation and in the joy it brings to kids, his sister said. She especially felt his presence Saturday as she watched the children play with their new drumsticks.
She could almost hear his voice coaching them, she said.
"If we can find the right music for these kids and give them something to do, that's the very start of it all," Hoskins said.
Public safety reporter Lexi Solomon can be reached at ABSolomon@gannett.com.
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This article originally appeared on The Fayetteville Observer: Raeford woman creates foundation after losing brother to gun violence
