HEY, WILLIE! Robotic umpires? I picked a bad week to quit drinking
HEY, WILLIE!
After reading a very depressing story about robot umpires coming to baseball, I wanted to head to the local pub.
Taking the human element out of baseball will change the game dramatically. After the reign of Bud “Lite” Selig and now Rob Manfred, it makes one yearn for the days of Ford Frick.
RICK
HEY, RICK!
A few random thoughts regarding MLB’s plan to go with robotic ball-and-strike calls starting in 2024 . . .
1. In recent years, as “K-Zone” became common and TV viewers can now see the computerized strike zone, it sure seems home-plate umps have gotten much better at balls and strikes.
They’re graded on their plate work, and once you start grading something, it typically gets better. You almost never see a wiiiiide pitch called a strike anymore, which leads to . . .
2. I wonder how Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine (among other “craftsmen”) would fare today without the longitudinal deference most umps granted them. The plate was wider for them than for others, and today they’d have to rely more on their change-of-pace prowess — which wasn’t all that bad either, by the way.
3. With robots calling the pitches, we’ll be that much closer to totally losing the potential for a great manager/umpire spat. I can almost picture Earl Weaver calling baseball's I.T. tech mid-inning and yelling for him to adjust the software.
Interference calls and balks might be the last frontier for such things.
And frankly, one of Earl’s “greatest hits” was his classic (and lengthy) exchange with umpire Bill Haller regarding a balk call. Look it up, but only after putting the kids to bed.
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HEY, WILLIE!
A week or two ago I heard an ESPN radio show mention the USFL playoffs. I didn’t even know the USFL season was going on.
That can’t be good for a new league.
My opinion is, football is popular because of the small number of games compared to the other two major sports. So while more games of a popular sport seems sensible, particularly played in the normal offseason, in practice it's like eating too much candy and leads to “meh.”
JB
HEY, J!
Put me in that "less is more" camp.
Guess what, next year you’ll have two spring football leagues to ignore, if you wish. The USFL has committed to a Year 2, and will be joined by the new version of the XFL.
Say what you want, but if nothing else, it delays the ol’ 9-to-5 for a bunch of footballers who are convinced they just need to put some quality play on tape to launch their path to Canton.
And by the way, I didn’t overlook your reference to the other “two” major sports. Better watch yourself!
HEY, WILLIE!
Terrific column (July 8) on the oddities NASCAR once allowed, especially Tim Flock’s monkey (Jocko Flocko) that rode shotgun. Enlightening and entertaining.
Perhaps you should have a Rhesus monkey named Phyllis Willis sitting next to your laptop as you peck out your precious gems.
DON
HEY, DON!
How do you know I don’t?
HEY, WILLIE!
I appreciated your Notre Dame column (Julyl 6), which I found through Yahoo Sports. That Richard Childress quote is a keeper. Keep up the good work.
DAVE IN HUNTSVILLE
HEY, DAVE!
It’s not often you get a reference to both Jed Clampett and Richard Childress in a column about Notre Dame and college football. This ain’t kids play, you know.
HEY, WILLIE!
When members of the new Saudi Golf tour are disqualified from playing, are they considered dismembered?
GEORGE
HEY, GEORGE!
I was disbarred once. Kinda.
And since golf has been broached, here we go . . .
HEY, WILLIE!
Joe arrives a few minutes late for his Sunday morning tee time, and his buddy Ted wants to know why.
“Well, this being a Sunday, I had to toss a coin to see if I should go to church or play golf,” Joe explains.
OK, Ted says, but that doesn’t explain why you’re late.
Joe: “I had to toss it two-dozen times to get the right answer.”
ERIC
HEY, ERIC!
The Great American Golf Joke Express chugs along.
If the well ever runs dry, we’ll package them into one big file, so you can make your own 3x5 cards to take to social gatherings and charm your friend(s).
— Reach Ken Willis at ken.willis@news-jrnl.com
This article originally appeared on The Daytona Beach News-Journal: Robot umpires calling balls and strikes is last straw for this fan
