HEY, WILLIE! You're gonna miss human error when baseball goes robotic
HEY, WILLIE!
Lanier “Sputter” Smith used to tell this story.
Three umpires are sitting around before the big game, discussing controversial calls. The young, eager guy says, “I call ‘em like I see ’em!”
The second, slightly more seasoned umpire says, “Don’t open yourself to the ‘you need glasses’ jeers. Instead, say ‘I call ’em like they are.’ ”
The third umpire, an old veteran, says, “You boys need to learn a lot. All you say is, ‘It ain’t nothing ’til I call it.’ ”
Human error has always been an integral part of the game.
Instant replay is overused. It was originally promoted as a way to prevent human error from determining the outcome of a championship game. Now, it’s every play or call.
MAC
HEY, MAC!
First, you made a lot of longtime locals smile by bringing up ol' Sputter.
“Human error is part of the game” is all nice and romantic right up until your team gets hosed by a bad call and loses an important game. Or worse yet, not necessarily your favorite team, but a team in which you “invested.”
All things being equal, I’d say it’s best to use modern technology in order to get things right. Though I will miss the subtle disparities in strike zones among umpires (a lot less of this than there once was, however) and the ensuing arguments.
If we didn’t employ modern gadgets to reach for perfection, sailors would still be landing half a continent south of their intended targets, Thanksgiving turkeys would be overcooked, and I’d never find a wall stud.
Conversely, if they’d had Hawk-Eye technology during John McEnroe’s tennis prime, he would’ve maintained his sanity but, on the down side, lost out on all the commercial advantages brought on by his moments of uncivil discourse.
FIRST INDY 500: They're right, you gotta see it to fully appreciate it | KEN WILLIS
TIGER WOODS: Will he return? He'll cross that bridge when he gets to it | KEN WILLIS
HEY, WILLIE!
Two thoughts. First, no disrespect to LeBron James, but Brittney Griner is an adult and she is responsible for her actions.
Thank goodness she didn’t get caught in Turkey. She would never see the light of day.
Second, shame on NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. The NBA and WNBA should brief all players traveling to foreign countries on what’s legal and illegal.
MIKE
HEY, MIKE!
How about highly suggesting WNBA players avoid traveling to a country like Russia as it was blatantly speeding along to turning the entire free world against it.
And don’t give me the “that’s easy to say now” comeback. No, frankly, that was easy to say in February, when she was detained at a Moscow airport. There has to be a better way for WNBA players to supplement their incomes during the offseason.
HEY, WILLIE!
Here we go again! Brad Keselowski kept displaying his juvenile behavior on Sunday, with his latest example of extracting his own brand of revenge on Austin Dillon.
You may recall how he cost Jeff Gordon the championship a few years ago with his ruthless and intentional driving behavior. His response then was something like, "I get paid to race and win."
Please keep in mind that a driver doesn't leave Roger Penske. Penske leaves the driver!
ROD RICH
HEY, ROD!
My unscientific polling finds you’re in the minority with this one. Not even Dillon’s own team knew why he was retaliating on Keselowski, but everyone immediately knew why Kez was responding with his own brand of payback.
If nothing else, it’s the type of rubbin’ that makes for great commercials.
HEY, WILLIE!
Now that UCLA and USC are going to the Big Ten, will Bill Walton still refer to the Pac-12 as “the conference of champions?”
TOM IN PIERSON
HEY, TOM!
Research tells me USC and UCLA will fully join the Big Ten . . . except for their beach volleyball programs. Go figure!
For what it’s worth, they’re the only two schools to ever win the NCAA national championship in beach volleyball.
And forgive Walton. Some days, I assume, when his eyes don’t fully open, he might think it’s still 1970.
HEY, WILLIE!
It’s a 10-foot putt on a green that slopes to the golfer’s left. The talking head says the putt will break right to left.
NO IT WON’T! It breaks left.
A double breaking putt would simply break left then right, not right to left and left to right.
GEORGE
HEY, GEORGE!
These are the things that drive us mad? To the point that we go ALL CAPS with it?
Oh well. Whatever, your rights and lefts got me thinking about an old offering from the Man in Black, John R. Cash . . .
Well, the one on the right was on the left
And the one in the middle was on the right
And the one on the left was in the middle
And the guy in the rear . . . was a Methodist
And since we’re talking golf again, here we go . . .
HEY, WILLIE!
Artie comes home after his regular Saturday golf game and his wife asks why he doesn't play golf with Nate Gumby anymore.
Artie asks, “Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, swears after every shot, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?”
“Of course not,” his wife replies.
“Well,” says Artie, “apparently neither does Nate Gumby.”'
LOU
HEY, LOU!
Ding, ding, ding . . . finally, one I’d never heard before. Maybe you started a trend.
— Reach Ken Willis at ken.willis@news-jrnl.com
This article originally appeared on The Daytona Beach News-Journal: Blown calls and arguments will be missed by baseball | HEY, WILLIE!
