Hitting rock bottom with Bam Margera

I try. I really, really do. If people want to listen to awful music, I do my very best to direct them to it. Usually, I even put my personal tastes aside and try to engage with said awfulness in an endeavor to understand why people would love it. This has made me a convert to many, many bands and genres, often much to my own surprise.

So please keep that in mind when I say that “Jackass” star Bam Margera’s F—face Unstoppable, featuring members of the band CKY, performing tonight at The Palladium, is hands down the worst attempt at music I have ever encountered. It is offensive on so many levels that it can only be construed as performance art. And frankly, I’ve seen that sort of performance art done better, too.

The piece that exemplifies the awfulness is a song called “Bend My [Expletive],” wherein Margera expounds, over and over, about how much he wants to … ahem … have relations with himself. The rant’s set to a monotonous dance beat, and as if to somehow excuse the song’s several minutes of foul-mouthed froth, Margera tops it off with a homophobic disclaimer, “It’s not gay!” That banging sound you hear in the distance is this reviewer pounding his head into the monitor, over and over again.

Never mind that Margera is a skateboarder and daredevil, not a musician. Clearly. Never mind that this is, surely, meant as some sort of satire, although of what is a mystery. Any point to be made in the ridiculousness is lost in the mire as Margera and company try to be as compulsively, juvenilely shocking as possible. The result is the single-most unlistenable piece of garbage I’ve ever encountered. And that’s quite a statement. I have, after all, written about Riskay’s “Smell Yo [Expletive].”

And there are people who love this. I’m sympathetic to that fact. If there’s one thing we’ve always insisted on in Pop Culture Notebook, it’s for anyone to be able to love the art they want to love, without guilt. I have, in just the past year, explored musical worlds as divergent as Barry Manilow’s Fanilows and the Insane Clown Posse’s Juggalos, and I am always struck by those fans’ passion for the music they love. I don’t have to like it — and in this case, I really, really hated it. I mean, a lot — but I think it’s always a good thing when someone’s willing to step up for art, even if I construe it to be bad art. Because that means it means something to SOMEBODY. And ultimately, that’s never a bad thing.

Still, to be clear, I have no real issue with profanity and have enjoyed many a gutter-mouthed tirade in my day. If it’s at all competent, I can usually see where it’s coming from. Furthermore, I have no real personal hang-ups on sex. I don’t offend easily. But somehow, Margera has found my line in a way in which no other musician has so far managed. That might even be construed as some sort of accomplishment, if it weren’t for the fact that no one should be proud of having produced this sort of tripe. Ever.

Turning to other songs doesn’t help. “I Saw Me Do It” is more of the same. The punk-fueled “All My Friends Are Dead” is actually pretty tolerable, but there’s not a lot of there there. The high point of the band’s songbook seems to be a cover of GG Allin’s “Bite It You Scum,” and therein lies the heart of the problem: Allin did this “shock” bit years ago and did it more authentically. This all seems to be an exercise in posturing and wallowing in being naughty.

In short, this is terrible. And I know, full well, that many people reading this will see the show anyway. And I’m OK with that. It is, after all, your time to waste. However, if there’s a saving grace in this catastrophe of a show, it’s that special guest Mindwalk Blvd. is a talented band that plays some pretty mean prog rock. So that’s nice. It’s not nearly enough to balance things out, but it helps.

The Bam Margera Experience with F— Face Unstoppable featuring members of CKY and special guests Mindwalk Blvd., Sidewalks, Aurora and Downfall begins at 6 p.m. April 5 at the Palladium, 261 Main St., Worcester. $40 VIP, $20 general. (Victor D. Infante)

Lana Del Rey

It’s always a little odd when people seem shocked that a Lana Del Rey song is “not terrible.” While it’s admittedly easy to see where her work wouldn’t be to everybody’s taste, Del Rey is a talented singer and — perhaps more to the point — a fairly interesting song stylist. And nowhere is this more on display than in her smoky, sullen rendition of Leonard Cohen’s “Chelsea Hotel.”

And really, isn’t an ability to convey style and feeling Cohen’s own greatest performance gift? Just not buying the hate. Del Rey may be a canny self-promoter, but she’s clearly skilled and her style’s distinctive. Which is nothing to sniff at.

And speaking of women who are underrated for reasons that have nothing to do with their music, there’s a new song from former French first lady Carla Bruni, “J’arrive À toi” (or “I Come to You,” for those of us who don’t speak French).

This slow boiler is torch-song seductive, and each note absolutely burns. Of course, everything sounds better in French, but still, this is one of the most musically evocative songs to come around in a while, and it’s immensely welcome.

On the far more disturbing side of things, Yeah Yeah Yeahs has a new video out for its song “Sacrilege,” which in all honesty is a tad difficult to watch if you have trouble watching a young woman being burned alive for promiscuity … by her former lovers.

The message is fairly straightforward, and it’s hard not to sympathize with the woman in question (played by model Lily Cole). Moreover, the song itself has a church choir sort of power, with lead singer Karen O. taking naturally to the gospel music overtones.

The entire package is powerful, bracing and more than a little disturbing.

This article originally appeared on Telegram & Gazette: Hitting rock bottom with Bam Margera