Hockey 101: Here's a quick primer for newbies as we are now officially a hockey town

It's official. We live in a hockey town.

The Coachella Valley Firebirds officially hit the ice Sunday, Dec. 18, and that means if you live in the desert, you are now a Firebirds fan.

I grew up in Michigan, which in the winter could just as easily be described as southern Canada, so I know a little bit about hockey just from osmosis. But many sports fans in the desert will be dipping their skate into hockey for the first time. They'll read stories about the team, watch the local news talk about the team and listen to sports talk radio where people will complain about the team.

So even if you aren't a superfan riding a Zamboni (the funny-looking ice-smoothing machine) around your cul de sac with a Firebirds flag attached, you still want to know what people are talking about.

So this will be a simple Hockey 101 class. Going to hit you with some basics. Some FAQs. And some glossary terms, so you can at the very least impress your friends at Sherman's Deli by telling the waiter "to put the biscuit in the basket" and then give a knowing hockey fan's smile.

The League

What are the Coachella Valley Firebirds exactly, like what level of hockey? The Firebirds are one of 32 teams in the American Hockey League. An AHL team is very similar to a Triple-A baseball team. The players on the Firebirds are one stop away from being in the NHL. On Tuesday a player could be on the Coachella Valley Firebirds and on Wednesday he could be playing in the NHL for the Seattle Kraken. The Firebirds are an affiliate or feeder system for the Kraken.

The league is split into four divisions. The Firebirds are in the Pacific Division with teams from Canada, Nevada, Colorado, Arizona and other California teams in Ontario, San Diego, Bakersfield and San Jose.

A whopping 23 of the 32 teams make the playoffs and they are all vying for the Calder Cup, the AHL version of the Stanley Cup.

The team

On the team: The team consists of around 22 players between 20 and 32 years old. Some are young players getting their first taste of pro hockey. Some are veterans who have been in the NHL and are still battling to get back. The players are mostly from the U.S. and Canada, but the Firebirds opening-day roster also had players from Denmark, Finland, Sweden and the Czech Republic.

On the ice: A hockey team has six players on the ice at all times. There are two forwards and a center, which are the primary offensive players. They often control the puck and take the most shots. There are two defensemen, who live up to their name by focusing mostly on playing defense and blocking shots and are generally bigger and more physical. They can contribute to the offense, too, they aren't just defensive players. And the sixth player is the goalkeeper. He's the guy with all the pads on in front of the net, trying to stop goals.

Fights

Will there be fights? The short answer is Yes. I've talked to several members of the Firebirds already and to a man they all say the AHL game is more physical and more prone to a fight breaking out than the NHL. It's not that there are more goons at the AHL level, the theory is because the players are clawing and scratching to make it to the NHL and it leads to quicker tempers on the ice.

Glossary break: A goon is an antagonistic player who loves to start fights and be in fights.

Penalty box

One of the novel things about hockey is the existence of the penalty box. If a player commits a penalty, he has to sit in a little glass box on the side of the rink. It's the equivalent of giving your toddler a timeout and making them think about what they did. And what's great is the team is not allowed to replace him. They just have to play with one less guy during that time, giving the opponent an excellent chance to score.

Glossary break: That brings me to two common terms you need to know: Power play and short-handed. The team that has one of its guys in the penalty box is said to be short-handed, which makes sense. The other team that has one more guy on the ice during that time is said to be on the power play. Quite often, how teams do during these moments in the game -- can the team with one more guy score with that advantage, or can the short-handed team prevent a score despite the disadvantage -- will go a long way toward determining the winner of that night's game.

Penalties

The good folks who invented hockey did a nice job of naming the actions that warrant a penalty. Most of them are self-explanatory.

Holding: Grabbing a player's body, jersey or stick.

Hooking: Using the blade of the stick to hold an opponent.

Cross-checking: Holding the stick in both hands to check an opponent

High-sticking: Making contact with an opposing player above the shoulder. "Hey, man, what should we call the penalty where you hit the guy up high with your stick?" "How about high-sticking?" "Love it!"

Tripping: Tripping a dude.

All of the penalties listed above are "minor" and will get you two minutes in the sin bin.

Glossary break: "Sin Bin" is a cute rhyming name for the penalty box.

The following penalties are deemed "major" and usually mean five minutes in the "off-ice office." No one calls the penalty box the "off-ice, office" but I consider it clever wordplay, so I'm going to try to get it started.

Boarding: Checking, tripping, or pushing an opponent into the side or end boards. The waist-high wall around the rink is also known as "the boards".

Spearing: Striking an opponent with the blade of the stick in a stabbing motion.

Slashing: Striking an opponent with the stick; often seen as a chop to the lower body.

Charging: A hit in which a player takes multiple strides to gain speed to punish an opposing player.

He scored a goal!

Here are other ways to say someone scored a goal, ranging from cute to crazy.

He put the biscuit in the basket: Makes sense, the puck is the shape of a biscuit, the goal is the basket. I'll allow it.

Light the lamp: When a goal is scored, there is often a little siren-style lamp attached to the goal that goes off. Hence lighting the lamp.

Top shelf! Where momma hides the cookies!: This was shouted by announcer Rick Jeanneret in 2007 and has become a popular phrase to imitate. "Top shelf" means shooting the puck and scoring in the top third of the goal, usually over the goalie's shoulder. In the frenzy of the moment, while shouting "top shelf" he added "where momma hides the cookies" and a hockey lingo moment was born.

So I hope you enjoyed this basic entry-level class for the sport of hockey.

By the time the Firebirds play their first home game Dec. 18, you will no doubt be an ace with your hockey lingo and will have fitted yourself for a new Firebirds sweater. Yes, hockey people call the player's jersey a "sweater." We'll save that discussion for one of our advanced-level classes.

Shad Powers is a columnist for The Desert Sun. Have a question for him about the Firebirds or the AHL or anything to do with hockey? Shoot him an e-mail at shad.powers@desertsun.com.

This article originally appeared on Palm Springs Desert Sun: Hockey 101: A quick primer for novices as we are now a hockey town