The holidays can be difficult for those recovering from substance abuse. A Simsbury group offers tips to help
Although it’s festive for so many, the Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year’s period can be a dangerous time for recovering drug addicts and alcoholics, says Daniel Millstein, director of the Farrell Treatment Center in New Britain.
“You can think about the holidays like the Bermuda Triangle. In addiction, stress is one of the real triggers — and there can be a lot of stress in the holidays because of family relationships that you have to navigate,” Millstein said Tuesday.
As a substance abuse therapist, Millstein is familiar with the twin dangers of the holiday season for addicts: anxiety or stress from being with family, or isolation from being alone.
His tips for successfully negotiating the season will be part of a panel talk Thursday evening sponsored by A Promise to Jordan, a Simsbury-based nonprofit that aids families of substance abusers. The session will also cover suggestions for how relatives, friends or roommates of drug and alcohol abusers can help them.
“For many Americans, the end of the year brings images of happy families gathered around a Christmas tree, big dinners of turkey and stuffing, holiday music and cozy fires,” the organization says. “For others, the holidays can be a much darker and more difficult time — a time of family conflict, financial strain, and concerns about a family member with substance abuse disorder.”
It’s a message that experts have been putting out to recovering addicts, alcoholics and their families for many years: The holidays can be enjoyable, but vigilance is extra important.
“For those that are struggling with substance use disorders, who are in recovery, be very aware that these are periods of great risk,” Dr. Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, said in a statement. “Because one of the factors that leads to drug-taking and to escalation of drug-taking, and to relapse, is stress.
“When you have a substance use disorder it makes you particularly vulnerable,” Volkow said. “And for the relatives and friends of someone who may have a substance use disorder, my message is reach out to them, keep an eye on them, because even if you do it virtually, that human contact is invaluable.”
A Promise to Jordan is the creation of Lisa Gray, whose 24-year-old son died of an accidental drug overdose in 2018. She recruited experts and volunteers to serve in the organization to reach families struggling with addiction. The group also works at addiction prevention.
Millstein, the organization’s board president, recommends substance abusers in recovery form a plan for getting through the holidays without relapse.
“One of the big problems with depression and anxiety is the isolation — addiction is a very isolating phenomenon,” he said. “Holidays bring out isolation. You either have the stress of dealing with family which can trigger the desire to use, or you have the isolation of not having a family and feeling alone.”
He recommends addicts and alcoholics avoid isolation.
“The antidote is to be involved in recovery. Recovery is about connection and being with other people,” Millstein said. “Can you call someone you haven’t talked with in a while and wish them a Merry Christmas? Can you go for a nice walk, see a special movie or have a special meal, do something you enjoy doing rather than thinking about what you don’t have?”
For those who are concerned about being around parties or gatherings with drinking or recreational drug use during the holidays, he also recommends forming a plan.
“Come with an exit strategy, be prepared to be there for a limited period and then leave,” he advised. “Bring a friend who doesn’t drink or use, or a spouse or companion. Talk with a person in recovery before you go, and maybe (during the event) go out and make a phone call.
The High Watch Recovery Center in Kent suggests five strategies: “Choose your party wisely, bring a sober friend, have an escape plan, throw a sober party, attend a meeting.”
Millstein also recommended holding down expectations.
“Recognize that the holiday is just another day,” he said. “All the holidays bring about a reckoning of ‘where am I, where am I supposed to be?’ Sometimes the holidays take on a significance that’s greater than they should.”
A Promise to Jordan’s “Facing the Holidays” event will be held Thursday from 6 to 8 p.m. at Covenant Presbyterian Church (The Barn), 124 Old Farms Road, Simsbury. See apromisetojordan.org for more information.
