Holy Cross community mourns loss of longtime swimming and diving coach Barry Parenteau
In the 1980s and 90s, when Barry Parenteau coached the up-and-coming Holy Cross women’s swimming and diving team and his dad, Paul, guided the HC men’s team, Barry’s wife, Dale, operated the timing system for meets at the Hart Center pool, and their young children ran the times back to the coaches’ office, where Barry’s mother, Lorraine, typed the results.
“It truly was a family effort,” Dale recalled fondly in an interview Monday afternoon.
For more than 50 years, Paul and Barry Parenteau were the patriarchs of Holy Cross swimming and diving.
Barry coached the Holy Cross women’s team since its inception in 1975 and took over the men’s team in 1996 when his father, who began at HC in 1965, retired. During his 43 years with the programs, Barry cultivated the family atmosphere that he, Dale and his parents set forth, and genuinely invested in his athletes’ lives with care, appreciation and encouragement.
“Right before every meet he would say, ‘Touch the ones you love,’” said Ian Hennessey, who swam for Holy Cross from 1999-2003 and later was one of Barry’s assistants, “and we were all on the deck together, putting our hands in to do a cheer. It always brought us closer together. To this day, some of my best friends are swimmers from Holy Cross.”
Barry, who retired from Holy Cross in 2018 and entered HC’s Varsity Club Hall of Fame in 2019, passed away last week after a valiant battle with cancer. He was 70.
Barry grew up in Worcester and got his start in swimming at the old YWCA, located across from St. Paul’s Church, under the guidance of his dad and U.S. Olympian Coralie O’Connor. He was a lifeguard at Coes Pond, which was just a short walk from his parents’ home, and Bennett State Pool. He graduated from St. John’s High.
Barry was a record-setting swimmer at Bridgewater State. While coaching the HC women part-time, he taught special education in the Worcester Public Schools. He assumed a full-time role at Holy Cross in 1983, when he was named aquatics director of the newly opened swimming and diving facility at the Hart Center.
“If you look at pictures of Barry standing next to his father, he was Barry’s other half,” Dale said. “He and his father were so close and he was very proud to be part of his father’s world and to do well in it.”
Barry and Dale raised their children in Millbury. Their daughter, Kaley, passed away in 2014. Barry leaves a son, Sean, and daughters Laine and Malen. On Thanksgiving weekend, Malen got married and very proud dad Barry gave the bride away.
Barry and Dale celebrated their 41st wedding anniversary on December 27.
“It was nice to have that day together,” Dale said. “He was the love of my life and it was just meant to be and it lasted.”
Since Barry’s passing, Dale said the sympathy, support and appreciation from his former Holy Cross swimmers – a tableful of flowers, a basketful of cards, tributes on Facebook – has been astounding.
"So many swimmers from all eras have posted on Facebook," said Coleen Lynch, a 1995 HC graduate and swimming record holder, "and everyone is heartbroken because he really did have a lasting impact on everyone, myself included.
"At the same time," Lynch said, "when you think about Barry, you smile. He had a heart of gold and he was so consistently positive no matter when or where you saw him. For me, he was part of the institution, part of Holy Cross."
Barry and Dale embraced his athletes and opened their home to them. Dale and their kids would accompany Barry and the Crusaders on preseason training trips.
Barry’s 241 combined victories with the men’s and women’s swimming and diving programs rank eighth among all coaches in Holy Cross history. He was a three-time MAAC women’s swimming and diving coach of the year. Barry coached eight future HC hall of fame inductees, including Callie Taffe, who was Holy Cross’ first female All-American in 1981.
Barry was a relentless advocate for his athletes.
“He was passionate about everything he did,” said Ann Ash Zelesky, retired Holy Cross associate director of athletics/senior woman administrator, who worked with Barry for 26 years. He was one of the first people to welcome her at Holy Cross when she joined the athletics department in 1989. “He touched so many lives and his legacy will live on forever through all of those fortunate to have known him.”
In addition to coaching his teams and running the HC pool, Barry was a perpetually friendly face at other Hart Center events, like men’s and women’s basketball games. He was known for his affability, his “joyful spirit,” as Zelesky said, his empathy and candor.
“If you wanted an honest answer to a question, you would ask Barry,” said longtime Holy Cross head strength and conditioning coach Jeff Oliver. “You might not always like his answer, but you knew it was real. He was always the first in line when you needed help and the first one to offer support when things weren’t going well. He was one of a kind and the essence of what Holy Cross was over the last four decades.”
Barry was also a long-time high school football official and a 38-year volunteer with the American Red Cross.
Hennessey, who coached with Barry from 2006-16, said Barry had an effectual ability to reach, motivate and communicate with each of his swimmers.
“He knew the right thing to do for each swimmer based on who the swimmer was,” Hennessey said. “It was incredibly impressive.”
When Hennessey was a record-setting high school swimmer in Rhode Island, he went to see Barry and the Crusaders compete at a URI meet.
“They were the team that seemed to be having the most fun,” Hennessey said. “I wanted to go to college and continue swimming, but focus on academics and find a balance where swimming wouldn’t take over my life. Barry’s attitude was always ‘academics first.’ I always appreciated that. He made sure we focused on our whole selves.”
New facility at Assumption
In November 2020, when Assumption announced the naming of its multi-sport stadium as the Brian Kelly ’83 Stadium in recognition of one of its most famous graduates, Kelly, who recently became the LSU football coach, pledged a $1 million matching grant hoping to spur donations from fellow alumni in support of Greyhounds athletics.
Earlier this week, Assumption broke ground on a new, $2.6 million athletic facility thanks to funds raised through Kelly’s and his wife Paqui’s challenge grant.
The facility will include a turf softball field with a new scoreboard, sound system, backstop, bullpen, batting cage and cameras, lights and a new soccer field.
Kelly, who was a four-year middle linebacker at Assumption and later served as an assistant for four years under Bernie Gaughan, also coached the Greyhounds’ softball team for four years. After leading the Notre Dame football team for 12 seasons, Kelly became LSU’s coach in November.
“Assumption University is grateful to Brian and Paqui Kelly for the generous challenge grant they issues to Assumption alumni and friends in support of our student-athletes,” Assumption president Dr. Francesco Cesareo said. “Through the selfless support of Brian, Paqui and many benefactors, the university raised considerable resources to embark upon this ambitious project. As formidable competitors in the Northeast-10 Conference, this new facility for softball and soccer student-athletes will serve as a proper showcase for the depth of talent that chooses Assumption for their academic and athletic pursuits.”
The project is scheduled to be completed this summer.
“We are thrilled to build this new, first-class facility that will support our student-athletes as they strive for excellence in the classroom and in athletic competition,” Assumption director of athletics Christine Lowthert said. “This project highlights the powerful support of our committed alumni. I’d like to thank the Assumption University administration and our wonderful alumni, particularly Brian and Paqui Kelly, for helping us realize this exciting project.”
Head of the Class
Franklin Pierce junior Connor Everidge of Baldwinville set program records in the shot put and weight throw at the Art Farnham Invitational, hosted by MIT.
Nichols graduate Matt Morrow of Leicester became the second player in Bison history to score 1,000 points and grab 1,000 rebounds. He averaged 18.7 points and 15.3 rebounds and scored a career-high 31 points in a win over Curry.
Holy Cross senior guard Avery LaBarbera matched a career high with 30 points and pulled down a career-best 17 rebounds for her fourth straight double-double in the Crusaders’ win over Lehigh.
Holy Cross senior forward Gerrale Gates averaged 20.5 points on 53 percent shooting and 9.5 rebounds. He tied a career high with 27 points in a win over Lafayette.
WPI junior forward John Lowther and sophomore forward John Adams of Douglas led the Engineers to a pair of NEWMAC victories. Lowther averaged 18.5 points while Adams averaged 14.5 points and 13.5 rebounds. WPI (10-1, 2-0) moved up one spot to No. 23 in this week’s D3hoops.com Top 25 poll.
WPI senior guard Melanie Presseau scored a career-high 23 points to lead the Engineers to their third straight win.
Assumption senior forward Dante Maribito and graduate goaltender David Altman helped lead the Greyhounds to two Northeast-10 Conference victories. Maribito scored the winning goal with three minutes left to lift Assumption past St. Michael’s, 3-2, while Altman posted a 2.00 GAA and made 72 saves in the two wins.
Contact Jennifer Toland at jennifer.toland@telegram.com. Follow her on Twitter @JenTolandTG
This article originally appeared on Telegram & Gazette: Holy Cross community mourns loss of longtime swimming and diving coach Barry Parenteau
