At home for abused, neglected boys in Detroit, Christmas wish lists are fulfilled
It starts in September — sometimes even August. Mary Barr, facilities manager at Christ Child House, starts asking the boys who live there what they’d like for Christmas.
These children, who arrive dragging suitcases or even a trash bag or two of their clothes and possessions, are not the Christmas monsters who send their parents elbowing through toy stores to buy the latest kid gadgets. They are living at Christ Child House because through abuse, neglect or abandonment, they don’t have anywhere else to go. This is one of the few child-caring institutions in the state of Michigan that takes in boys under the age of 10.
So, through a massive, monthslong effort, staff at the home scheme and scurry in the lead-up to Christmas to make sure they know what every boy is wishing for. And then they make it happen. Pretty much no matter what.
At Christmas, the sky is the limit
A nice keyboard for the kid who dreams of being a musician? Done. A Minecraft Lego set for the boy who already has over a thousand blocks in his collection? Absolutely.
“Whatever their wish is,” said Barr, “that’s what we get.”
This year, as usual, some boys’ lists reflect their obsessions. R.B., whom the Free Press is identifying by his initials to protect his privacy, wants “The Flash” DVDs, even though he knows he can watch it on Netflix.
B.S. wants Hot Wheels cars and an mp3 player. He says he’s pretty confident Santa will deliver.
That’s because Santa always does, even though it takes a whole host of staff, donors and community members to make it happen.
Some wishes are fulfilled by Operation Good Cheer, a 51-year-old volunteer organization that provides thousands of Michigan children in foster care with gifts each holiday season. Barr sends them her list after her intelligence-gathering missions are complete. A network of private drivers, truckers and even pilots crisscross the state to deliver the presents to group homes and residential facilities.
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Generosity from schools, churches, individuals
The families of children attending St. Lawrence Catholic School in Utica buy presents for the boys at Christ Child House through their annual “giving tree,” and the students themselves load up all the toys to send over.
Other gifts come in from Michiganders who’d like to make one child’s wish come true — or maybe lots. One man who’d been in a facility like Christ Child House when he was small remembered how he felt as a kid: unimportant, unseen. Unworthy of celebration. He sent money and asked staff to take the boys on a trip to the mall. Another woman got every child a bathrobe.
This year, the congregation of St. Paul AME Church in Detroit donated a bike for every boy at the home.
“We have donors who say, you know what? The sky is the limit,” said Barr.
B.S. has no idea yet, but he’s right — he will get that mp3 player he’s been wishing for this year. Tucked inside a candy-stuffed stocking, a shiny new one is waiting for him, and for the 13 other boys he lives with. It will be delivered by Pam Harris, who has dressed up as Mrs. Claus to bring treats and presents to the boys at Christ Child House since around 2007.
“It makes you feel good in the heart, and this is something I love to do,” Harris said. “I love to give back and to give back to children is so awesome.”
Harris knows what it’s like to have a Christmas that doesn’t glow merry and bright. She also came up through the child welfare system. “I had to be 10 years old when I found out what Christmas was,” she said. “In one home that I lived in, the tree was there, but we weren’t allowed into the living room. We had nothing under the tree.”
Now she works as a cage manager at Motor City Casino. At the holidays, she visits nursing homes and other institutions as Mrs. Claus to bring good cheer and gifts wherever she can. But there’s a special place in her heart for the boys at Christ Child House. She knows from experience how important Christmas is for a child.
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“When you don’t have Christmas as a kid, other kids will rub it in your face,” Harris said. “’cause you ain't got nothing to show for what you got for Christmas, you ain't got nothing to tell what you got for Christmas.”
Christmas isn’t just about presents, of course. But for children who haven’t experienced much doting in their lives, receiving gifts can send a strong message. That their happiness matters. That they are cared for and included.
“It’s teaching them how to give back and how to love,” Harris said, “because, you know, they have not been loved.”
What I really want for Christmas is my family
E.W., who just turned 14, wants a new portable DVD player to replace the one that was broken, a Black Panther teddy bear, and some World Wrestling Entertainment action figures so he can stage battles. Last year, he remembers, he got a remote control car. And he got to see his family.
Families who are able and authorized can visit with their child in the living room area of Christ Child House. Other kids get phone calls. Some have no contact.
The boys had dinner with Santa a couple of weeks ago. They were clamoring to tell him what they wanted for Christmas. The puzzles, the stuffed animals, the Nikes and the Air Jordan sneakers. They peppered Old St. Nick with questions. “Where are the reindeer?” they demanded. But then the conversation turned serious.
“They told Santa Claus what they wanted most was their family,” said Barr. “They said, ‘That’s what I really want for Christmas is my family.’”
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E.W. is excited about this year’s plan: He’ll be spending Christmas Eve with family and sleeping over, returning on Christmas morning to have a nice, festive breakfast in his pajamas and open presents, eat candy and act out fights with those new wrestling toys he hopes will be his.
“It’s really magical here on Christmas morning, just to see their faces light up,” said Nekia Wade, a coordinator at Christ Child House who has experienced 10 Christmases at the facility. “They make sure the kids get anything they ask for, so they don’t feel like they went without anything.”
Even if the new shoes and DVDs, the bikes and ukuleles don’t quite make up for not being part of a loving family, getting the presents they asked for lets each boy know he’s been heard. Someone was listening. Someone cared.
“We try to honor their requests,” said Wade. “We always try to make sure they feel loved on Christmas morning.”
Jennifer Brookland covers child welfare for the Detroit Free Press in partnership with Report for America. Make a tax-deductible contribution to support her work at bit.ly/freepRFA. Reach her at jbrookland@freepress.com.
This article originally appeared on Detroit Free Press: Christmas wish list fulfilled for neglected boys at Christ Child House
