Home safe: Ukrainian adoptee settles into life with Brunswick family

May 14—A little sister in each arm, 17-year-old Kara Graves leaned forward until the giggling girls in her lap nearly touched the floor with their heads.

"Again!" 8-year-old Elliana demanded as Kara lifted them up to a sitting position on the couch. Bridget, 6, squealed with delight, speaking in Russian.

Watching Bridget play with her siblings on Friday, it looked as if she had spent her entire life growing up in her new Brunswick home.

But Bridget, who was born in Ukraine, just got there the day before.

Brizzy, as her adoptive family calls her, was born prematurely via surrogate in Ukraine. She has cerebral palsy and club feet, and cannot walk by herself. Brizzy's biological parents decided they did not want her, and she ended up in an orphanage.

More than a year ago, Phil and Kristie Graves saw Brizzy's picture on an adoption website and knew she'd be their fifth child.

The adoption took a turn when Russia invaded Ukraine in February.

In March, when the war was fairly new, the Graveses did not know what would happen. Then on April 26, Phil and Kristie flew to Poland after a judge agreed to hear their case. They crossed the border into Ukraine, finalized the adoption and brought their daughter home.

It wasn't easy.

A journalist picked them up at the airport in Warsaw and drove them to the border with Ukraine, Phil said. Brizzy's adoption caught the attention of media outlets in numerous countries after her surrogacy case made international headlines a few years ago.

At the border, the journalist bid them farewell. He had a Russian passport and could go no further, Spiegel International reported.

On the other side of the border, in Ukraine, their adoption facilitator waited for Phil and Kristie. But the facilitator could not leave Ukraine, Phil said, because he was a man of fighting age.

The Graveses had to find their own way across the border.

"We basically hitchhiked," Phil said.

Polish police helped Phil and Kristie arrange a lift. The police did not speak English. The Graveses did not speak Polish.

With the help of Google Translate, the police got them a ride with a Red Cross van carrying humanitarian supplies. Phil estimated the van drove them half a mile, just enough to get them into Ukraine. The Graveses got out and met the adoption facilitator.

Traveling by car to Kyiv, Phil and Kristie saw the effects of war with their own eyes. They passed checkpoints, a destroyed Russian tank and a Mary Kay factory that had taken a hit.

Phil said they did not focus on the danger. "I think we were running on adrenaline," he said.

They freshened up at the adoption facilitator's residence in Kyiv and prepared to leave for an overnight train to Zaporizhzhia.

Then Phil heard an odd sound, like rattling. He thought it was the building's elevator.

When they got outside, they learned that missiles just exploded about half a kilometer away.

The family pressed on to the train station. Smoke rose in the distance.

After a long journey through the night, their train arrived in Zaporizhzhia.

Phil and Kristie showered at a hotel before they went to court. They did not sleep.

While waiting for court to start, an air raid siren sounded. One of the jurors would not come after it went off, Phil said, so they had to wait for a substitute.

The judge invited them to shelter in the courthouse basement. The Graveses stayed put.

"We weren't worried about it. Nobody else seemed to be worried," Phil said.

Finally, the hearing began. The judge questioned how their family could care for the child.

Phil is senior pastor at First Baptist Church in Brunswick. Kristie is a respiratory therapist at Johns Hopkins Hospital. They have a large support network, Phil said.

This also isn't their first time caring for a child with a disability from a foreign country. They adopted Elliana in 2017 from Armenia. She uses a wheelchair.

Brizzy spent her first night in the U.S. sleeping beside Elliana. Brizzy has her own bed in the same room but climbed into Elliana's.

Phil and Kristie also have two sons, Ethan, 15, and Owen, 12.

Kara turns 18 on Saturday and is about to graduate from Brunswick High School. She's going on to Messiah University in Pennsylvania to become an occupational therapist. Seeing her sister Elliana benefit from occupational therapy inspired Kara to pursue that career, she said.

At the Graves household Friday, Elliana cuddled Brizzy as they sat next to a pile of laundry on Kara's bed. Owen lounged in a hammock above them.

He ran through the English alphabet. Brizzy repeated each letter successfully, until she got to "H." Brizzy said "G" again. Her siblings laughed.

This day was a long time coming.

The judge in Ukraine finalized the adoption April 28, Phil said.

More travel awaited before they could reunite with the girl they could now legally call their daughter, though they've referred to Brizzy as such for some time. The Graveses traveled to Lviv in western Ukraine, where Brizzy's orphanage evacuated to about two weeks prior. She was in Zaporizhzhia prior to then.

Phil and Kristie took their new daughter to a hotel that night. He has photos on his cellphone of Brizzy coloring with Kristie.

When it was time for bed, Brizzy did not want to sleep alone.

"She actually slept between Kristie and me," Phil said.

It was their first night together as an official family.

The next day, the Graveses and Brizzy took a nine-hour bus ride to Warsaw. Phil said the ride was prolonged by the wait at the border. They went through a round of airport-like security checks before entering Poland, according to Phil.

Late at night on May 1, the family arrived at the hotel in Warsaw.

They remained there nearly two weeks, until they flew home Thursday.

The family spent most of that time waiting on a doctor's report and Brizzy's bloodwork results, which Phil said had to be complete before they left.

While they waited, the family took the chance to be tourists. They went with Brizzy to a river with a little beach, to the playground and out to eat. Kristie says Brizzy eats like a teenage boy.

On Mother's Day, still in Poland, Brizzy spent the afternoon with a nurse who had become like a mother to her.

Marina Boyko met Brizzy when she was born prematurely in the hospital, and visited her at the orphanage. Phil said Marina has been their biggest advocate for the adoption. She kept their family up-to-date when they lived half a world apart from Brizzy.

Marina and Brizzy have a special bond, according to the Graveses. It was not easy to say goodbye.

"I put her down for a nap while Marina was leaving, so it wasn't like her being ripped away," Kristie said.

They've stayed in touch with Marina, and let her know Brizzy got home safely. At the house Friday, Brizzy stared at photos from Ukraine and Poland that Phil showed on a TV, through his cellphone.

Kristie said they want to raise Brizzy with an awareness of her Ukrainian culture.

One day, when the country is peaceful, Kristie hopes Brizzy can return.

Follow Mary Grace Keller on Twitter: @MaryGraceKeller