Homeless in Sanford: How couple survived 10 months in Maine woods

Shawn P. Sullivan, Portsmouth Herald
Updated ·8 min read

SANFORD, Maine — Jeff and Tami Sandler have been living in a small tent in the woods of Sanford since February.

Looking back on this year, in which they braved the elements of all four seasons, Jeff and Tami can tell you the exact moment when each experienced their lowest point.

Jeff said he hit rock bottom when he knew he and his wife of 28 years would be losing the room they had been renting and would have nowhere to turn.

“I’d say the lowest moment of this whole thing was the very first night that I knew Tami wasn’t going to have a roof over her head,” Jeff said. “That was the hardest thing for me to take.”

Jeff Sandler holds a Santa statue as he walks back to the tent in the woods, that he shares with his wife Tami. The couple have been homeless for 10 months, and Christmas has always been Jeff's favorite holiday.
Jeff Sandler holds a Santa statue as he walks back to the tent in the woods, that he shares with his wife Tami. The couple have been homeless for 10 months, and Christmas has always been Jeff's favorite holiday.

And Tami? When asked, she bowed her head and answered softly, quickly.

“All of it.”

The Sandlers are just two of nearly 200 people who are homeless in the community, according to the Sanford Police Department’s Mental Health Unit. As a result of the SPD’s mental health unit, however, the Sandlers have reason to hope their long nightmare will soon be over, and they want others in their situation to have hope, too.

“Don’t give up,” Jeff said.

When you ask Jeff his last name, he tells you.

“Sandler.”

S-A-N-D-L-E-R, like Adam Sandler, the movie star?

“Yes,” Jeff said. “Except without all the money.”

Jeff laughed and smiled when he said this. He said his sense of humor, displayed freely during an interview outside his tent on Wednesday, Nov. 29, is “what’s kept us going ... probably the biggest tool.”

Jeff Sandler waits for his wife of 28 years, Tami, to crawl out of their tent in the woods of Sanford. The couple have been living outside for the last 10 months.
Jeff Sandler waits for his wife of 28 years, Tami, to crawl out of their tent in the woods of Sanford. The couple have been living outside for the last 10 months.

“That, and all the love and courage we have inside of us,” he added. “Tami is the one who saves my life every day. She’s the strong one.”

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'All I want is to live a normal life'

The Sandlers have endured much since February – the cold, windy and unforgiving winter, all of that muggy, nonstop rain that drenched the region this summer, and the frigid temps that have come around once again.

Stress. Hunger. Frustration. Alienation. Worry. Uncertainty.

“All I want is to live a normal life,” Jeff said. “I want to feel normal and be OK.”

The Sandlers live alone in their tent. Their tent is a small one, donated to them by the bishop at the local Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It’s a tent once used by local Cub Scouts – it says “Troop 324” on the front flap. To shield themselves even further from the elements, the Sandlers have draped their tent in three tarps, with a fourth one tied to nearby trees and hanging overhead.

Jeff Sandler and his wife Tami have not lost their sense of humor despite being homeless and living in the woods for 10 months. The couple of 28 years jokes and smiles as they face the challenges and hardships of their situation.
Jeff Sandler and his wife Tami have not lost their sense of humor despite being homeless and living in the woods for 10 months. The couple of 28 years jokes and smiles as they face the challenges and hardships of their situation.

At night, they keep themselves warm with a small heater fueled by a miniature propane tank. They know the risks of such heat sources under such conditions, and they said they take steps to stay safe.

“Our rule is we keep it on for 10 minutes, then off for an hour,” Jeff said. “We don’t put it on if we’re drowsy at all. But if this thing tips over at all, it just shuts off.”

Tami and Jeff Sandler always take their shoes off outside their tent and then bring them inside so they won't get any dirt in their home of 10 months.
Tami and Jeff Sandler always take their shoes off outside their tent and then bring them inside so they won't get any dirt in their home of 10 months.

The Sandlers show their camping space is tidy and free from litter because they bring their waste to local bins each day. The inside of their tent is clean, too — they take off their sneakers before entering and leave them just outside that front flap to not track dirt inside.

“We keep it real simple,” Jeff said. “We’re real stewards of the earth.”

They do not do drugs, they tell you. They do not drink. The Sandlers point out these personal details to you because they are painfully aware of the stigma people attach to the homeless.

“We’re wonderful people who have the same hopes and dreams that you have,” Jeff said. “We didn’t do anything wrong to be in the situation we’re in ... We just don’t have the money for a house.”

Life since February has been hell, to use Jeff’s words. All of it, as Tammy added.

They have not showered in months. They have not had a hot meal all year and instead have had to settle for such cold eats as salads and sandwiches, which they purchase with their Pine Tree Card, or the Electronic Benefit Transfer card issued by Maine. They’ve stood on the street with signs, asking for any kind of help, and have endured the humiliation of stares of thousands of motorists just driving on by.

“Because of the stress, and because of how overwhelming the situation is, you just feel like there’s no way you’re going to make it,” Jeff said. “You have to take it 24 hours at a time.”

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What led the Sandlers to the streets

Last Christmas, their landlord gave them 90 days to vacate the room they had been renting to make room for an ailing relative. Jeff and Tami, who are middle-aged, did not have relatives to whom they could turn, as all of the ones with whom they were close had died.

According to Jeff, when they officially had no place to live in February, they were startled to discover that the safety nets he had hoped were there — town services, “benevolent” organizations, as he described them — were not there. They started looking for help in Portland and, finding none there, worked their way south and eventually arrived in Sanford. Along the way, they let go of most of their possessions.

“Every place we asked for help, they either gave us another phone number or said they couldn’t help,” Jeff said.

Jeff expressed frustration when describing efforts to get help from the local General Assistance Office. He said he and Tami applied for assistance but were denied because their only source of monthly income, the $900 Tami receives from Social Security, means they make too much to qualify.

Tami Sandler, 64 and her husband Jeff, 55, show the tiny space they share in their tent in the woods where they have been living for 10 months.
Tami Sandler, 64 and her husband Jeff, 55, show the tiny space they share in their tent in the woods where they have been living for 10 months.

According to the Sandlers, they are in that unwinnable position: with her Social Security, they bring in too much per month to be eligible for General Assistance, yet the amount is nowhere near enough to cover rent and other expenses. Both Sandlers are unemployed due to disabilities.

Tami has a serious heart condition. As a result of current circumstances, she could not afford and had to miss her latest appointment to chart the current situation with the aortic aneurysm that she is living with or the aortic arch replacement that she needs.

Sandlers may have a home for Christmas

If the Sandlers have been disappointed in the system of town agencies and area organizations, they are grateful for one group in particular. Both praise the local police department’s mental health unit, which last week finally secured a housing voucher that will allow the couple to have an apartment of their own before Christmas.

The unit is headed by Sgt. Colleen Adams, who is its community outreach officer, Shannon Bentley, who is its mental health first responder, and Lacey Bailey, who is an overdose-prevention clinician.

“Colleen has been a lifesaver,” Jeff said.

Tami Sandler, 64, has struggled with a heart condition throughout her life. She has gone through surgeries and fears the stress of being homeless could worsen her health.
Tami Sandler, 64, has struggled with a heart condition throughout her life. She has gone through surgeries and fears the stress of being homeless could worsen her health.

The issue of homelessness is so widespread, is so multifaceted, is so limited of resources, that “we don’t get many wins,” both Adams and Bentley said during a recent interview.

But the unit got one recently when finally, it was able to secure that voucher for the Sandlers. Under the voucher, the couple will pay a rent that is 30% of their monthly income — which, incidentally, will increase soon, when Jeff too starts receiving Social Security. And thanks to the unit, the couple’s new apartment will be furnished with donated and rounded-up furniture and appliances.

“I’m just really grateful for the people who helped us put this together,” Jeff said. “I hope it works.”

Jeff Sandler looks out from the door of the tent he and his wife Tami have lived in for 10 months in woods in Sanford.
Jeff Sandler looks out from the door of the tent he and his wife Tami have lived in for 10 months in woods in Sanford.

The Sandlers are elated and grateful but said they will only truly believe their improved fortune when they are inside that apartment and can take hot showers, sleep in a warm bed, and prepare and enjoy well-cooked meals.

That would include stuffed peppers, according to Jeff.

“That’s our favorite meal,” Jeff said. “The rice. Some pasta with some nice sauce. And a meatball. Throw a little bit of cheese on there.”

They will need a period of healing in their new home, Jeff said. Once healed, they will be able to resume pursuing their dreams.

“We want to adopt a couple of dogs from the shelter and just spoil them rotten and devote our days to sharing our lives with them,” Jeff said.

The Sandlers also have a message for those who do not yet have a place to call their home.

“Don’t give up,” he said. “Don’t give up. Just do what you have to do to be OK, today. It’s easier when you just focus on 24 hours at a time, instead of focusing on longer periods of time.

“Just don’t give up. No matter what.”

This article originally appeared on Portsmouth Herald: Homeless in Sanford: How a couple survived 10 months in Maine woods