Honey Alexander remembered for her life and legacy

The Rev. Canon Lissa Smith described former Tennessee first lady Leslee Kathryn Buhler “Honey” Alexander as someone who was a woman of few words, but one who knew the power of words. Someone who was kind, generous and thoughtful.

"She prayed hard and worked hard," Smith told the crowd gathered at Alexander's memorial held Saturday afternoon at Christ Church Cathedral in Nashville. "If she were here with us in body, she would be a bit embarrassed by all of this. ... But she would have loved how we are celebrating her life."

Alexander, the late wife of former Gov. and U.S. Sen. Lamar Alexander, died Oct. 29 at the age of 77. Her life was celebrated in a formal Episcopal ceremony with a music from the cathedral's massive pipe organ, a homily by Smith and scripture readings by her children and grandchildren.

Joining the Alexanders' friends and family at the memorial service were Gov. Bill Lee; former Gov. Bill Haslam; U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell and his wife, former U.S. Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao; Sens. Bill Hagerty and Marsha Blackburn; former Sen. Bob Corker, Mayor John Cooper; and former Sen. Bill Frist and wife Tracy.

Not your average first lady

Tom Ingram, longtime family friend and former chief of staff to Lamar Alexander both as governor and senator, told The Tennessean just before the service that Honey Alexander was always involved in her husband's political career.

In fact, the walk across Tennessee campaign that helped Lamar Alexander get elected governor in 1978 was her idea.

"Someone asked Lamar what he liked to do most when he wasn't working," Ingram said. "He said 'I like to put on my plaid shirt and go hiking in the Smokies' and Honey said 'why don't you just walk across the state?'

"What we constructed what was a truly authentic 1,026-mile walk across the state over six months," he said. "It was revolutionary. It put him into places with Tennesseans doing what they do everyday. We stayed in homes at night instead of hotels and rode in trucks instead of flying. We stopped at every school on that 1,026-mile route. It was truly revolutionary. A lot of people are credited for that walk, but I always remember it was her idea."

Ingram added that she was always a loyal spouse even when it 'didn't completely suit her fancy.'

"She was always there and supportive of Lamar, but she lived her own life," he said. "She supported and participated in his agenda, but as first lady, she had her own as well. She wasn't just a hostess. She was proactive on issues. She was determined to make a difference in her realm while he was making a difference in his."

Friend remembers Alexander

Just before the service, Honey Alexander's longtime friend Molly Pratt described her as determined, smart, funny, thoughtful, faithful and a great "gift-giver."

"If you got a gift from Honey, you knew it was something she had picked out for you," Pratt remembered. "It was never where she had gone into a store and said 'I will take 20 of those.'"

Evidence of that continued to surface even after her death. Pratt had gone to the Alexander family cabin in East Tennessee for the burial, and on her bed was a photo album she had never seen before. "Honey was my daughter's godmother and there was this book," she said. "The first page was her birth announcement. There were handwritten letters from my child, there were photos of her throughout the years including one of her as a toddler with Lamar who has a harmonica he's playing for her."

While a treasure for both Pratt and her daughter Kendrick, Pratt says she thinks Honey Alexander did it as much for herself as she did for the two of them.

"She really took her job as a godmother seriously," she said. "This was a reminder of the commitment she had made and the book was truly done because she was all-in. That's beyond thoughtful. That's true love."

Background:Honey Alexander, longtime wife of Sen. Lamar Alexander, has died

Remembering Honey Alexander:U.S. political leaders remember former Tennessee first lady Honey Alexander

Lasting legacy

Honey Alexander was a fierce advocate for children's issues and the results of her life's work are evident today.

During her husband's time as Tennessee's governor from 1979 to 1987, she was the chair of a statewide Healthy Children Initiative, which focused on prenatal care. She also worked to help create the Governor's Task Forces on Daycare, with a focus on child care in the workplace.

After her husband's run as governor, Honey Alexander partnered with Marguerite Kondracke to create a company called Corporate Child Care Inc., that continued the focus of creating employer-sponsored child care near the workplace. Now, after a merger with Bright Horizons, that company is called Bright Horizons Family Solutions and has more than $2 billion in revenue and more than 1,000 locations in four countries. Kondracke says of this accomplishment, "It's quite a legacy."

Legacy:Family and Children's Service celebrates opening of new facility named for Honey Alexander

The Honey Alexander Center was named in her honor in 2019 and houses Family and Children's Services in Nashville.

In a video shared at Honey Alexander's visitation on Friday, Michael McSurdy, CEO of Family and Children's Services, said, "Honey was absolutely a force for good and a force for grace. She brought her grace to everything she did and that made everyone stronger."

Melonee Hurt covers growth and development at The Tennessean, part of the USA Today Network - Tennessee. Reach Melonee at mhurt@tennessean.com.

This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: Honey Alexander remembered for her life and her legacy