Howard Relin, longest-serving Monroe County DA, dies at 81

Howard Relin, the amiable and loquacious lawyer who became Monroe County's longest-serving district attorney, died Wednesday. He was 81.

Mr. Relin suffered from heart disease after a heart attack 11 years ago.

In his 20 years in office, Mr. Relin became one of the community's most popular elected officials, an administrator-politician known for his effortlessly outgoing demeanor. A Democrat who was a former Republican, he faced vigorous election challenges from Republicans through the years, but none were able to dent his hold on the office. His last year as DA was 2003, when he retired.

Mr. Relin actually relished the energy of a political campaign, but within the office he was known to shun politics. Many if not most of his prosecutors were enrolled Republicans, but he never raised questions about politics when hiring. In his final years in the office he chose Mike Green, who was then a Republican, as first district attorney, setting Green up as a likely successor upon Mr. Relin's retirement. Some Democrats were irked, thinking Mr. Relin had cost the party a countywide seat. (Green did become DA, but switched to the Democratic Party beforehand.)

"I was one of the few Democrats in the office because Howard did not care about party affiliation when he was hiring people," said state Supreme Court Justice Stephen Lindley, a former prosecutor who is now an appellate judge and who chaired Mr. Relin's 1995 election campaign.

Mr. Relin was known for his ability to charm a crowd. This was not the insincere façade of a masterful politician, but instead the natural inclination of an individual who simply enjoyed bantering with people from all walks of life.

"The average person might think of someone in his position as very stern and harsh but when they met Howard they would see he had this warmth and engaging personality," said retired County Court Judge Richard Keenan, who was also first assistant district attorney under Mr. Relin. "He just had an amazing way of connecting with people. He had a warmth and an affection about him that made people relate to him."

In his domestic life — he was married to retired Democratic Elections Commissioner Betsy Relin — his personality was the same.

"He was always upbeat," said his stepson, Michael Toole. "He was not superficial. He just genuinely was always positive, always upbeat, always looking at the positive for everybody."

His family did not see any signs of what surely were stressors from the job, Toole said.

"He always prioritized us," he said. "He sheltered us from knowing how busy he was."

Betsy Relin recalled being with her husband in Germany, and him being recognized there. "People recognized him every place we went," she said.

Wouldn't steal spotlight

Though a Democrat, Mr. Relin was not typically progressive in his stance on criminal justice matters. He supported the death penalty, pushed back against criticism of local arrests for marijuana-possession crimes, and opposed needle exchange programs designed to ensure addicts would face fewer health risks when injecting drugs. At the same time, he was a key supporter of the state's first drug treatment court, a program that was largely pushed by retired City Court Judge John Schwartz but would have been unimaginable without a buy-in from the District Attorney's Office.

He faced some stiff political opposition for his backing of the treatment court, especially from the late Monroe County Conservative Party Chairman Tom Cook and many Conservative-supported officials, who tended to follow Cook's lead. But Mr. Relin held firm, and now treatment courts have expanded throughout Monroe County and the state and have widespread support, regardless of politics.

As well, the office fared well in high-profile cases, though there were several wrongful convictions that later brought the Innocence Project to town for interventions.

Mr. Relin was never one to try to steal the limelight from his staff who handled the successful and prominent prosecutions. A prime example was the 1990 prosecution of serial killer Arthur Shawcross during a time when trials could be televised in New York.

The case helped springboard then-First Assistant District Attorney Charles Siragusa, whose prosecution was meticulously thorough, into judgeships. He is now a federal judge.

"He was someone, although he was the boss, he was not afraid of letting the people who worked for him get a share in the spotlight," Siragusa said.

Said Keenan: "What made Howard such a special person to work for was he gave those who worked with him the discretion to do their job. What Howard did is he gave the attorneys that worked for him the chance to learn and grow and maximize their abilities. He not only allowed but he actually encouraged the spotlight to shine on others."

Mr. Relin never flinched from an opportunity to personally debate at any level the issues he believed in. On multiple occasions he debated his support of capital punishment with opponents across the county. The political pushback against treatment courts did not slow him from being a vociferous public supporter; instead, the opposition seemed to animate him more.

And, in one of the more unusual moments, in 1986 he debated members of the Topfree Seven — women who argued they had a right to bare their breasts in public — on the popular television talk show hosted by Phil Donahue. The late Jack Garner even reviewed the segment for the Democrat and Chronicle and noted that Mr. Relin considered the issue one of questionable significance when compared to others in the criminal justice arena.

"In our limited court systems, why bring this to the courts?" Mr. Relin said. "Why not take the legislative route?"

From a legal family

Mr. Relin's father was a lawyer, as was his uncle. A Rochester native, Mr. Relin graduated from Columbia University, and worked summers in the family law office. He was then accepted to law school at New York University and, as he told the Democrat and Chronicle in 2003, "I failed miserably."

"I think I needed discipline," Mr. Relin said in the interview. "I was more interested in going out every night with my friends, or going to Broadway or going to the opera."

He dropped out and spent three years in the Army. Feeling more focused, he decided to give law school another chance, and he and his younger brother, Jerold, decided to attend law school at the University of Buffalo together. However, before the session opened, Jerold was killed by a drunken driver while visiting San Francisco.

Friends and colleagues say that the loss of his brother gave Mr. Relin a sympathy for victims, one he carried with him later in life when district attorney. He created the victim assistance program within the office and worked closely with the organization at first called Parents of Murdered Children, founded by Audrey Smith, who has since died.

"He would meet with us and would ensure that justice prevailed," said Smith's sister, Maudine Brown. "He didn't take any sides, but he was very sympathetic. He was just that type of person."

Brown remembers when Green became the prosecutor in the case of the man accused of killing Audrey Smith's son. Green was very youthful looking, and the family was concerned. "We looked at Mike Green like he was a little boy," Brown said.

Mr. Relin assured the family of Green's courtroom prowess, and he did secure a conviction. The family never doubted Mr. Relin afterward, Brown said. "He worked right along with Audrey for years," Brown said.

Mr. Relin's office was among the first to find a way to allow victims to speak at sentencings, even before the practice was codified in law in New York.

Years in the office

Mr. Relin first joined the DA's Office in 1968 and became one of the office's busiest prosecutors, handling cases ranging from white-collar fraud to mobsters to murderers. He rose through the ranks, taking on additional administrative duties as he did.

"Howard was a darn good trial attorney, too," Siragusa said.

Mr. Relin often relied on his connections with people, especially juries, when prosecuting cases. He was not known as much for hours spent poring over precedents and statutes as he was for his personable demeanor in court.

"He understood people and could read people," Lindley said.

He eventually became the office's second-in-command, and changed his party affiliation when the opening became available in 1983 for appointment by then-Gov. Mario Cuomo, a Democrat.

Betsy Relin was then Democratic elections commissioner and was asked by the party to head Mr. Relin's campaign against Republican Robert King, who would later go on to be county executive. Betsy Relin said she first declined, considering him a Republican.

Finally, she consented and "we became best friends," she said. They later married and navigated political campaigns together while traveling frequently with children and grandchildren. Betsy Relin was born a day before he was.

"He said he preferred older women," said Betsy Relin, to whom Howard Relin was married for 34 years. "I was glad he did."

The longest tenure

During his two decades as district attorney, Mr. Relin was active in professional organizations and anti-violence initiatives.

He was once president of the District Attorneys Association of the State of New York, and served on the board of the National District Attorneys Association. He was active in Greater Rochester Fights Back, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, Mothers of Murdered Children and the Monroe County Commission on Violence.

A number of the prosecutors who filtered through the office and were promoted by Mr. Relin went onto judgeships, or, as in the case of Green and Sandra Doorley, became district attorney themselves.

"He was a wonderful boss and an even better person," Siragusa said.

An opera aficionado, Mr. Relin owned thousands of CDs, cassettes and vinyls and knew the words of every opera imaginable, according to his family. When wintering in Arizona after retirement, he taught opera at the University of Arizona’s Osher Lifelong Learning Institute. He also previously taught criminal justice at Rochester Institute of Technology.

Mr. Relin considered Betsy Relin's children from a previous marriage his own, and the couple often took the family overseas for vacations. "Nobody had a more fabulous life than we did with the children, the travel," Betsy Relin said.

Besides his wife, survivors include the children and their spouses, Joni (Keith) Eddinger, Michael (Amy) Toole and Maura Toole; grandchildren Emily (Joe) Chard, Becca (Sam) Toole, Connor (Leanne) Weis, Jake Chard, Trevor Weis, Graham Leitner, TJ (Anjoli) Toole, Konrad Leitner, Geoff and Steve (Rachel) Chard; and great-grandchildren Charlie and Jack Carpenter. Besides his brother, Mr. Relin was predeceased by his parents, Charlie and Belle Relin, daughter Marti Leitner and grandson Andrew Chard.

This article originally appeared on Rochester Democrat and Chronicle: Howard Relin, longest-serving Monroe County DA, dies at 81