Huggins' homophobic slur should not be dismissed as 'just a word' | Opinion

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Practically everyone is familiar with this old saying, which most likely was taught to you as a child. It conveys the idea that while a physical attack may injure you, words cannot. The problem with this quaint little saying is that it's a lie.

Some words can hit harder than a punch, cut deeper than a knife and burn worse than the hottest flame. Words have sparked wars, gotten people beaten and killed and even incited an insurrection at our nation's capitol.

That's why I have a real problem with some folks who are so quick to dismiss West Virginia University basketball coach Bob Huggins' use of a hate-filled slur against gay men during an on-air chat with WLW-AM (700) host Bill Cunningham this week as "just a word."

More: From the editor: What we learned from Bob Huggins and Bill Cunningham

"Who exactly suffered such devastating damages as a result of his use of a word?" a reader asked me in an email responding to an editorial I penned suggesting Huggins be fired by the university.

I find it funny that those who pose those kinds of questions are usually the people least affected by the use of slurs. The fact is, many in the LGBTQ community have explained time and again in painstaking detail the impact of bigotry like that expressed by Huggins. Former Cincinnati City Councilman Chris Seelbach tweeted that 40% of LGBTQ youth consider suicide because of prejudice expressed against them. If you've been paying attention, questions like "Who got hurt?" aren't actually questions at all. They are weak excuses for inexcusable behavior.

Words matter. Increasingly, we seem to be forgetting that as a society, or have simply stopped caring. Woke, cancel culture and freedom of speech are becoming code for those who want the freedom to say horrible and inappropriate things without being held accountable or having to face the repercussions for them. The sentiment has always been there, but former president Donald Trump made crude and callous speech fashionable. And worst of all, he pushed the idea that one should be unapologetic about it – again claiming he's just pushing back against "political correctness."

There are a few choice words I'd like to use to describe that train of thought that probably aren't appropriate for a family newspaper. But that's my point. Human decency, decorum and good taste no longer seem like something we aspire to anymore. These days it seems the meaner, the nastier, the ruder, the better. We've stopped looking at each other as fellow human beings who deserve respect and dignity. Instead, we regard those different from us as "others" and perfectly acceptable collateral damage in today's culture wars. The attitude is, because I don't respect them, I can say whatever I want to about them.

That's just wrong.

Some folks yearn for the "good old days" when they could use certain words and laugh and nobody made a big deal about it. And even if gays, Blacks and women did speak out, it didn't matter because they had no rights. But our country, thankfully, has evolved and things once commonplace are no longer tolerated, and the once-voiceless now have a megaphone to cry out against mistreatment. We should be proud of our growth, yet some are chaffed − even offended − by it and want to turn back the clock to when you could just kiss a woman without asking and grab her by the genitals.

What's truly sad is Huggins knew exactly what he was saying when the slur flowed so freely from his mouth. It wasn't some "slip of the tongue" or "faux pas." Slurs – racial, homophobic, antisemitic or otherwise – are rarely used by mistake, but rather with hurtful and demeaning intent. They are also emblematic of mindset of a prejudice that exists, whether Huggins wants to admit it or not.

There should be zero-tolerance for bigotry in the workplace, or when representing your employer. Huggins should have been fired, and he should be on his knees right now thanking God he still has a job. It's hard to imagine how any LGBTQ or Catholic alumni, current students, basketball fans, players or people in general who value decency could be comfortable with Huggins as a representative of West Virginia University now.

Some Huggins apologists have argued that he should be forgiven and shouldn't lose his career over "one word" or a "single mistake." I agree that Huggins should be forgiven, but that doesn't necessarily include keeping his job. West Virginia will reportedly suspend Huggins for three games, reduce his salary by $1 million a year and make him go to sensitivity training. I personally don't believe any of these measures or his self-professed "embarrassment" by the situation will truly change who Huggins is.

It'll take more than an apology and a donation to Xavier after the fact to convince me he's remorseful. Real contrition takes place over time by showing changed behavior and attitudes, not a few dollars and an "I'm sorry" immediately after getting humiliated nationally. You cannot legislate bigotry out of someone's heart. Just look at the fact America is still wrestling with racism, sexism, antisemitism, Islamophobia, homophobia, etc., even after all the civil rights and anti-discrimination laws that have been passed over the years.

No you can't legislate away prejudice, but you can punish those who traffic in it.

Huggins won't miss the million dollars. He still makes $3 million a year, so I think it's safe to say he's got plenty. Nor will missing three games on the sidelines really hit home. And sensitivity training is only effective for those who approach it with an open mind and engage willingly. It usually doesn't stick with folks who are "mandated" to go.

The "losing his whole career" thing is also overblown. Even if Huggins had been fired, he likely would have found work coaching someplace else. Just look at disgraced, former Kentucky and Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino who just signed a six-year deal to be the coach at St. John's. And it's only a matter of time before former Reds play-by-play announcer Thom Brennaman finds his way back to the big leagues after being fired for saying a homophobic slur into a hot mic during a Reds broadcast in 2020. By the way, last I checked, Brennaman wasn't exactly unemployed. He does play-by-play for Chatterbox Sports.

Bottom line: We all need to be more careful about the words that come out of our mouths. Our politics are so corrosive these days because politicians on both sides of the aisle don't always consider the gravity of their words and their impact on others. Even those of us in the news media must be more mindful and not give way to hyperbole and oversimplification at the expense of nuance.

The reader I referenced earlier who responded to my editorial espoused a similar sentiment.

"Yesterday a member of Congress from Georgia stated that Republicans would like to bring back slavery. During Biden’s campaign he told a Black audience that Republicans want to 'put you back in chains.' This kind of language is commonplace in today’s world. You think those who use these kind of words should be fired immediately?"

I think citizens always have a chance to fire their elected officials at the ballot box every few years, and those offended should cast their ballots accordingly. I do agree with the reader that voters need to hold our elected officials accountable to toning down the rhetoric and speaking more thoughtfully. It's hard to sit down at a table and negotiate with someone who just called you a Marxist, a Fascist, thug or racist. We must do better.

Who got hurt by Huggins' words? A friend of mine shared with me that, the day of the Huggins episode, a male pulled up in a car and called him and some people he was walking with "a bunch of f--gs." My friend said the man nearly became combative with them. Was this guy emboldened by Huggins' "locker room talk?" There’s no way to know. But Huggins’ use of that word normalizes it and emboldens others to use it, too.

A proverb in the Bible says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." You don't have to be a believer to see we are killing our country with reckless words. And if we keep it up, how long before sticks and stones follow?

Opinion and Engagement Editor Kevin S. Aldridge can be reached at kaldridge@enquirer.com. Twitter: @kevaldrid.

This article originally appeared on Cincinnati Enquirer: Huggins' homophobic slur more than 'just a word' | Opinion