The human cost of gun violence: one Kansas mother tells her story | Commentary

The new year has once again been marked with numerous acts of gun violence, including multiple mass shootings. The scale of gun violence our country faces is overwhelming – and it feels like with each incident our collective response has been to become more and more numb.

But we have to remember that the tens of thousands lost to gun violence every year in the U.S. aren’t numbers. They are our children. Our brothers and sisters; parents, teachers, and friends.

As a gun violence survivor, telling my family’s story is hard. But it’s a choice I make to honor my son by trying to put somebody else in our shoes to help them understand the true trauma and impact gun violence causes.

My oldest son, Felix Andre Snipes was born Friday, July 21, 1989, and on Friday, August 31, 2018 his life was taken by senseless gun violence. He was just 29 years old.

It was right before the first football game of the Junction City High School Blue Jays’ season when I received the call from my husband, Willie.

I was shocked and knew something was wrong because Willie, a 20 plus years veteran football coach of the Blue Jays, and pillar of our community, never called right before a game.

He told me that Felix had been shot. I rushed to our local hospital in a feeling of surreal panic. Once I arrived, I watched EMTs and nurses roll Felix into the helicopter — they were airlifting him to a hospital with a trauma department. They wouldn’t let us go near our son. That hurts me to this day.

I couldn’t go near the helicopter to let him know we were there, to comfort him, to give him a kiss, nor to let him know that I love him.

But their hopes were in vain as well as ours — Felix would not survive his injuries. To this day, I can’t handle the sound of a helicopter.

He is missed every day.

Being a survivor of gun violence is all too common in the U.S. and especially among Black people. All told, 59% of adults in America identify as survivors of gun violence.

However those numbers are even higher among communities of color: 71% of Black adults and 60% of Latinx adults in America are survivors.

Gun violence is an epidemic that kills more than 40,000 people per year, and wounds nearly twice as many.

Felix was/is our child. He was/is a brother. He was free spirited and charming, optimistic and courageous. He loved wearing loud, neon colors and enjoyed dressing up as if he was a model.

Felix had an awesome smile, and though all of his jokes weren’t quite funny, you just had to laugh.

When Felix was taken from us, I looked for resources to help cope and pathways to honor his life. When I looked in my area, I fell short.

So, I took things into my own hands, by making phone calls, talking to elected officials, sharing our story, and researching. I started the Moms Demand Action chapter here in Junction City to help be part of the gun violence prevention movement and to effect change.

I became part of the Everytown Survivors Network, and met many other parents like myself who had lost children or loved ones to senseless gun violence.

I was appointed to committees in Kansas, including by Kansas Governor Laura Kelly to sit on the Kansas Juvenile Justice Committee. I have channeled my family’s trauma into action so no other parent has to join this painful club that a gun violence survivor does not want to be a part of.

Gun violence is a plague that kills so many of our children, and makes our survivor community grow every hour of every day.

Like so many people, we never thought it would happen to us. But in America, no one is immune to gun violence. It’s time we take comprehensive action to fight this epidemic, so no more of our children are at risk of becoming a statistic.

Felix is not a statistic. He is my son. And his spirit will continue to live on in the work I do daily to end our country’s gun violence crisis. Join me in upholding his legacy by recognizing the human toll of America’s gun violence crisis, and recommitting to honoring survivors with action.

Mary Snipes, Junction City, is a fellow with the Everytown Survivor Network. She wrote this column in observance of National Gun Violence Survivors Week., Feb. 1-7.