My Husband Doesn’t Want to Exchange Gifts This Year, but I Do. Am I Being Selfish?

“My husband doesn’t want to exchange gifts this holiday season. He says we’ve spent a ton on our new home and my sister’s destination wedding in Italy (it’s true). That said, gifts mean a lot to me, whether it’s a fancy ring or a cheap framed photo, and I really like the act of unwrapping something he got me. Am I being materialistic and selfish? Or is it OK to demand a present?”

It’s weird. There are so many ways to exchange inexpensive, meaningful gifts, but people immediately associate the holidays with money. Giant sigh.

The good news? As long as you’re positive that receiving a zero-cash present is just as good as a trip or a piece of jewelry, then it’s time to open up your man’s eyes to all the non-monetary ways gifts can be bestowed.

Here are some ideas you can suggest to him. And don’t worry: It’s totally fine to demand that they come wrapped.

Plan a local experience.

Surprise each other by each writing down a local “experience” you can do together as a couple, then presenting it to the other at an agreed-upon time. Perhaps it’s a night out with homemade hot cocoa in travel mugs, driving around town looking at the Christmas lights and choosing a “winner.” Maybe it’s layering up and heading out for a scenic walk around your neighborhood park. Or going out on the town to find the best holiday-themed drink within five miles. (Hot toddies, anyone?) Have fun. Be creative. And plan to spend basically nothing.

Make each other meals.

Prefer to stay in? You can each take a night to cook the other a fancy (or not fancy!) meal. Chef picks the meal, ingredients and libations. Non-chef picks the tunes and post-dinner movie.

Do a dollar-store exchange.

The goal is to find just one item that recalls a special memory from your past, whether it’s a Paris keychain that reminds you of your honeymoon or a stuffed animal puppy that reminds you of your…puppy. Wrap it up, stick it under the tree and relish in having spent only $1.

Give coupons.

I’m still a big fan of coupons, especially for men who are uncomfortable with buying and receiving stuff. If you want to make it feel extra special, go all out with construction paper, glitter pens and fancy writing (it’ll be fun and help you feel like you’re prepping a gift). Maybe it’s a full bathroom cleaning, a gas fill-up or a bedroom act we dare not mention... whatever would be most useful or exciting for your partner.

Clearly, there are many more ways to exchange gifts without spending a dime. But the most important thing to emphasize to your husband is that it’s not about the price tag. It’s about appreciation and closeness and the act of giving. I’m pretty sure he’ll get on board.

Jenna Birch is a journalist and author of “The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love,” a relationship-building guide for modern women. To ask her a question, which she may answer in a forthcoming PureWow column, email her at jen.birch@sbcglobal.net.