Husband-and-wife school superintendents in rival districts meet their relationship goals

Every day, not just Valentine's Day, is all about love for Alvin and Roberta Freeman.

They love their jobs, the communities they serve, their careers in education, their children, and they have loved each other for more than two decades.

Alvin and Roberta say there are living a dream.

The happily married couple of 20 years are educators at the pinnacle of their careers – school superintendents in neighboring towns − and parents of triplets.

"It's pretty amazing to us also," Roberta said.

"It's something you don't really think about until someone else says it to you," added Alvin. "And then you go, 'Wow!'"

Alvin Freeman is superintendent of schools in Bound Brook while Roberta Freeman is superintendent in neighboring Middlesex Borough.

Like many of their students' report cards, the Freeman family report card has even more As. Their triplets, Amani, A.J. and Ava – known at home as "The A-Team" – arrived in 2012.

At the start of the new school year in September, as the parents started their superintendent jobs and also had to get their three As off to fifth grade, their 20th wedding anniversary and the children's 10th birthday were in the mix, too.

It was, to say the least, hectic, but the Freemans take it all in stride with a smile and another A. It's awesome, Alvin said.

'It doesn't even seem like work'

The Freemans love their jobs and where they work.

"I really love the community that I work in," Alvin said. "I don't know if I could imagine any better."

"It's almost like a dream and even saying it is like a dream, it's pretty amazing," Roberta said. "Even as much as Al loves the community that he works in, equally in Middlesex, I love the community. It is so supportive. It doesn't even seem like work."

And on game days when the rival districts oppose each other in sports, the superintendents are standing on opposite sidelines, and they admit that can get tricky. How do you divide up three kids evenly, Crusaders or Blue Jays? Alvin said their kids know which side has the better treats.

There is a lot of laughter in the Freeman household. That's the atmosphere the parents brought to the classroom as teachers – joy as a main objective. This joy has followed them to Bound Brook and Middlesex.

The couple met in 1999 when both worked in the Long Branch school district and were named their respective schools' Teacher of the Year in the Governor Teacher Recognition program.

Roberta Freeman, then Roberta Weems, was a second grade teacher at Gregory School and Alvin Freeman was a fourth grade teacher at West End School. Though a few students had tried to play matchmaker for the two, they first met in person at the awards ceremony.

"You know I wanted to talk to everyone. But, when I started talking to Roberta, I just became enthralled and just kept talking to her," Alvin said.

"We just couldn't stop talking to each other," Roberta said.

That's when the "spark" began, the two agreed.

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Another district luncheon later and they decided a "date" was necessary. A second date was when Alvin told Roberta she was going to be his wife.

"At the time, I didn't know what I was saying," Alvin said with a laugh. "But it just came out."

"At the time, he had a lot of game," Roberta added, also laughing.

"And we've been together ever since," he said.

'We were meant for each other'

The Freemans not only share a love of each other, but also a love of education and children. From the start, they found it easy to talk to each other about work.

"Our ideas are so similar, and I loved how enthusiastic he is," Roberta said. "When we talk about children − children are our lives − so when I look at him when he talks about kids − it's just amazing. I'm hanging on the edge. I can't wait for the next words to come out of his mouth because he's so enthusiastic. From the start, I knew that he would be a good father someday. And he is absolutely phenomenal. But I saw that in how vested he is in the children that he serves."

"Now on the flip side, I guess it's a situation where it's like a mirror," Alvin said. "You marry a reflection of yourself. I used to hear about these creative games that she would play with her students and not only were the kids talking about it, but their parents were also talking about it. When I talk to her, it's the same thing.

“She is the most creative person I know. Once we connected it was like we never stopped talking. We got married and had kids and we still do the same thing. We just catch ourselves, even sometimes getting ready for work in the morning, just getting in these conversations where we lose track of time. And it's not just about school, but about life − the great experiences we've had, the things we plan to do. We were meant for each other."

And just as Roberta knew Alvin would be a great father, he saw a great mother in her.

"My mother is very important to me, and I always said to myself, whoever I married would have to be like my mom," he said. "The funny thing is, for a period of time I was like, 'Wow, I don't really know if I'm going to be able to find somebody,' and then shortly after, she shows up. They're very similar − very creative, beautiful as people, beautiful faces. So I knew. And then she taught second grade. And yes, my mother was a teacher − a second grade teacher."

After a decade of trying to become pregnant, the Freemans turned to IVF. On their last try, the doctor put in two eggs and on an early sonogram, there were three heartbeats. One egg split and within their triplets, the girls are identical twins.

"We were floored," Alvin said.

The three children have "very different personalities and they like different things," their parents said.

"But that's the diversity, that's the variety that makes it even more fun than it already is," Alvin said.

The children are aware of the important roles their parents play in their school districts, and they are proud of Mom and Dad, the Freemans said.

"They ask questions about what we do and how we help people," Alvin said. "And they love the fact that we are in charge, but they also understand that being in charge doesn't mean bossing people around. It means helping everybody you can in every way that you can. And that's something we stress to them − life is really about helping other people to become better, to have a better experience in life. That rubs off on them and it makes them happy to know that we're helping people."

Work-life balance

While the family of five lives in Monmouth County, there is talk of a move to Middlesex County. The commute can be tricky as can the work-life balance − though the couple said they have it down to a science at this point. Organization is key − they keep an up-to-date calendar − and they also have a wonderful support system.

We balance, Alvin said. And are flexible, Roberta said. And have clear communication, both agreed.

And it is all done with a smile.

"We'll map it out so that we are present in their lives," Roberta said. "It's not as chaotic as it sounds. It's actually a lot of fun. We get to spend time with our children and be a part of their development and growth but then also to be a part of the children’s lives that we serve in our districts. We enjoy it."

"We make sure we are present at activities in the community and our districts, but also make sure we make time for our kids," Alvin said. "We plan it out and make sure we meet the needs of our children, our community and our districts. It's actually a lot of fun. It's relaxing and very gratifying to be able to do that."

And the two manage to be present for each other as well. They have achieved couple's goals. Date nights are regularly scheduled, as is checking in with each other.

"There are Saturdays that we're like, 'Okay, it's date night and we'll get our sitter," Roberta said. "And it's funny because our kids could care less. We've had our sitter since they were 2. So it's kind of special when they get to see Jen."

This summer − before they took on their new superintendent roles − the couple took a vacation to the Atlantis in the Bahamas − just the two of them.

"The first time in 11 years," Roberta said. "It was much needed, and it was wonderful. We were able to reset. But we're definitely intentional. We make sure that we set that time aside to reset and check in with one another."

'Great experiences'

The two have spent years in classrooms together, both teaching and learning. Neither started out seeing superintendent as their career goal.

Roberta was dedicated to classroom teaching. Alvin initially saw teaching as a short-term gig until a job in the business world came through. That soon changed, and he was hooked on teaching.

Others saw a different future for both and higher education degrees – master’s and doctorate − at Kean University were soon in the cards. As others brought out the best in them, they bring out the best in each other and the children they raise and educate. Their goal is to help these children realize their own potential.

The Freemans worked as teachers and then administrators in Long Branch until Roberta took a position as assistant superintendent in Middlesex in August 2021. Just over a year later she was named the district's superintendent. Alvin was named superintendent in Bound Brook in July 2022.

"It was a series of experiences," Roberta said. "You start to feel that you can make a greater impact in an administrative position. For me, I didn't always see things for me, but other people saw it for me. I'm a first-generation high school graduate, let alone having a doctorate. So I see it for myself. But I needed people and they would tell me that they saw in me what I could be. I don't think until I could see it in myself that it could actually happen. I had to have that belief. So I had to share that with other females out there. Administration − it is highly male dominated. So when you see it in yourself, it can absolutely happen."

Alvin said his story was similar. He, too, found joy in classroom teaching, though he majored in business in college.

"And my mother, a teacher, she would make me go into her bulletin boards every summer, so I got to know her principal. When I graduated, the principal asked me to take a job as an instructional assistant to help him out until he could find somebody permanent. And I did," he said. "But I told him, I had a lot of respect for him, and I didn't want him to be upset with me if I left. I didn't understand what he was giving me.

“So I went and I took a job as an instructional assistant, and after about three weeks, I said, 'Oh my God, I want to work with kids.' He knew that once he got me in the door that I was going to stay. When I got in the classroom, I had no intentions of going beyond the classroom. But I had some people that encouraged me to take other leadership roles, and I started to see how you could help beyond your classroom."

Alvin added that he also learned through his classroom experience that he wanted to share the "great experiences" his students had and their and his successes.

"I would want to share with what I was doing with others − that's what kind of made me go into administration," he said. "One year I decided I was going to go back to school and then things just went from there."

What's their secret?

While Valentine's Day itself might be spent at school dances or with their children, the Freemans will carve out some time to celebrate with a romantic dinner sometime during the week. They keep it all in perspective and enjoy the ride they are on together.

"I think the key to remember in being successful at anything − whether it's your superintendency or with family or as a couple − you can't take life too seriously," Alvin said. "You have to really focus on doing good things for others and enjoying everything that you do. And if you keep those good vibrations, those good feelings, the sky's the limit. You can do anything. You can do anything even if there are things that people will tell you are impossible. You don't have to believe that − you focus on helping others. Stay positive and everything will work out just the way you want it to. You persist."

Roberta agreed, adding keeping the energy high is a big part of their success.

"One thing that Al always says to me when I have a challenging day, is he'll say, 'But are you having fun?’” she said. "And I appreciate that question. Because if it comes to the point where it's not fun anymore, then you know that perhaps it's time to do something else. So having that time to reflect and realize that although it was a little stressful or a little challenging, that's just the moment and it's not the entire picture of what's happening. So, if you're having fun, and you're touching others and you're doing the impossible, and you're being positive and you're doing what seems to be the possible, then that's the energy that I know I need that keeps me going to do even more."

email: cmakin@gannettnj.com

Cheryl Makin is an award-winning features and education reporter for MyCentralJersey.com, part of the USA Today Network. Contact: Cmakin@gannettnj.com or @CherylMakin. To get unlimited access, please subscribe or activate your digital account today.

This article originally appeared on MyCentralJersey.com: Husband, wife lead Bound Brook, Middlesex school districts