The importance of Lady A's powerful statement on sobriety

When country trio Lady A announced last week that they were postponing their tour to support member Charles Kelley's sobriety, they released a lengthy statement that experts in substance abuse say offered important lessons for anyone touched by addiction.

Namely, that no one walks the road to recovery alone.

The statement didn't come from Kelley, but from the band themselves, saying "we're family," that the band was "proud" of Kelley, and that all members were in "this together."

"The announcement being made by the band indicates that Charles' process of recovery is something that affects all of them, and there are ways in which the entire band and the band's support structure, the concentric circles that surround the band and go from the band itself outward, can play a very important role in helping Charles continue this process of recovery," says Dan Mager, author of "Some Assembly Required: A Balanced Approach to Recovery from Addiction and Chronic Pain."

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Recovery is a process through which people seek to live healthier, fuller lives. Experts agree there are many pathways to recovery, and social support – which can be provided by peers, partners, friends and family members – is an essential part of recovery.

"For any of us, when we're at any kind of change process, having support is really important," says Chuck Ingoglia, president and CEO of the National Council for Mental Wellbeing. "This isn't something you have to do alone, and I love how the band has done this, how they're saying that they're going to be there to support him in this journey."

A candid disclosure

Experts say the band's decision to explicitly address Kelley's sobriety is a bold choice in a culture that still stigmatizes substance abuse.

"The whole notion of Alcoholics Anonymous has been one of anonymity, borne largely out of the societal stigma that people faced, and potentially the legal repercussions at play depending on what people were struggling with," Ingoglia says. "This notion of being upfront about it is encouraging, and hopefully it will give other people the courage to confront what they need in their lives and to seek care."

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Beyond its candor, experts say the statement is also notable for its language choices. It refers to Kelley's path forward as a "journey of sobriety," which experts say underscores recovery is a process, not a destination.

"You didn't end up in a place where you felt like you needed to start a journey to recovery overnight,"  Ingoglia says. "There's been a lot of things that have potentially happened in your life, a lot of behaviors and coping mechanisms and trauma that have gotten you to where you are. It's going to take a while to learn how to replace those behaviors."

The statement also acknowledges that "it's early on this road," which Mager calls a meaningful choice given that recovery takes time, and has no endpoint.

Different paths to recovery

Achieving a sense of health and wholeness is going to look different for different people, experts say.

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"The only goal historically has been sobriety, and I think on this journey to recovery, there are many different paths that people can take," Ingoglia says. "For some people, that's going to be treatment, for some people that's going to be social support, like AA. ... Everybody's journey is slightly different."

Ingoglia notes that while some people in recovery abstain from all substances, others are able to eliminate the substance creating problems in their life.

"I was talking to someone last week who had an addiction to opioid painkillers, and has been able to stop that, but still drinks alcohol and feels like that's OK," he says.

Supporting someone in recovery means balance and boundaries

Social support is critical for people in recovery, but it is not without its challenges.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, "the process of recovery is supported through relationships and social networks," but those closest to a person in recovery, particularly family members, may "experience adversities in their social, occupational and financial lives, as well as in their overall quality of family life."

"Common feelings of abandonment, anxiety, fear, anger, concern, embarrassment or guilt are commonly reported emotions of affected family members," says Dona Dmitrovic, senior adviser for recovery for for SAMHSA.

Mager says supporting another person in their recovery requires maintaining balance and boundaries.

"Especially for people who are not in recovery themselves, but who have a significant other, a family member, a dear friend who is struggling in this particular way, they need to understand that there's only so much they can do to be helpful and to assist the other person," Mager says. "The person in recovery needs to walk a fair amount of this pathway on their own."

While successful recovery must remain a self-directed process, achieving it creates opportunities to heal and even deepen relationships.

"Addiction is a disorder that takes people further and further away from any sort of healthy, meaningful connection with other people," Mager says. "In part, recovery is a process of recovering that connection with other people, further developing it, and, in some cases, finally discovering it."

If you or someone you love is struggling with mental and/or substance use disorders, you can contact SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) for confidential support. 

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Lady A's remarkable statement on Charles Kelley's sobriety, recovery