Instant motherhood: Season of Sharing helps Sarasota woman after traumatic loss
In December 2020, Brittley Mayes was a psychology major working two jobs.
She was young, single, ambitious and – after her own grief-filled childhood – determined to carve out a career helping struggling teens.
Then she received a call that would upend her life.
Her sister had been killed in a car accident, a stranger told her.
As Brittley raced to the hospital in shock, a thought flooded her mind.
“What’s going to happen to the kids?”
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Like twins
Shauntavia was a year older, but to Brittley, they were twins – like the girls on the sitcom “Sister, Sister.”
“I thought that was us,” said Brittley.
Growing up in Sarasota, Brittley wanted to be just like Shauntavia – bold and daring, the one always clowning around.
They were best friends, sharing secrets and diaries. They leaned on each other as their mother and father were diagnosed with cancer when Brittley was 11, even more so when soon after their parents died a year apart.
Brittley’s world crumbled further when she and Shauntavia were separated.
The two girls, she would learn, had been adopted as infants from different families. Shauntavia went to live with her biological relatives in Bradenton, Brittley with her adoptive aunt in Sarasota.
The girls stayed in frequent touch. But by her senior year in high school, Brittley’s grief exploded.
Angry with God and everyone else, she got into fights at school. She rebelled from her aunt, leaving the house – sleeping in her car and on friends' couches.
The experience was frightening – and a wakeup call.
“I don’t want to live like this,” she thought.
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Through SchoolHouse Link, she was set up in an apartment she could afford through her job as a camp counselor.
“It was literally like a light switch to me,” she recalled, telling herself at the time, “Ok, Brittley, there are people out there who can help you. Stop this pity party.”
She went back to church and began processing her grief.
After graduation, she studied briefly at State College of Florida, then later at Tallahassee Community College, close to her biological family.
Back in Sarasota in her mid-20s with an associate’s degree in elementary education, she worked for the city as a recreation specialist.
All these years, she’d stayed close with Shauntavia – a favorite auntie to her three boys, who called her T.T.
A terrifying prospect
When Shauntavia died, Brittley knew what she had to do.
Her nephews were reeling – Mari, the oldest, was 10; Winton Jr. was 6; and RiKing, the youngest, was just 2.
Brittley started the adoption paperwork and moved them in.
Her round-the-clock work schedule had to change.
“You can’t do that with kids,” she thought.
Her education on pause, she quit both jobs and took one with better hours as a victim’s advocate at Safe Place and Rape Crisis Center, or SPARCC. But the pay was much less.
As her income nose-dived, taking care of the kids caused her expenses to soar.
“I could be dead broke,” she thought, but those boys had to be okay.
With the adoption in progress, she enrolled them in Tidewell Hospice’s Blue Butterfly Family Grief Program – not wanting their emotions to bottle up like hers once did.
But through 2021 she fell further behind until her landlord threatened to evict the family
Panicking, Brittley applied for emergency rental assistance from federal pandemic relief. Months later, she still had no word.
Terrified, she didn’t know what to do. She remembered her awful experience of homelessness in her teens. But this time, she carried the responsibility of three kids.
Referred to Harvest House, she learned from a case manager they had a way to help. They tapped Season of Sharing to pay $1,200 for a month’s rent.
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“I was so, so grateful,” Brittley said.
What’s more, Harvest House enrolled Brittley and the kids in its Home Again program, offering supportive, affordable housing and other social services.
Through the first half of 2022, Brittley socked away savings. The program was a godsend, she thought. But it was temporary. She needed long-term stability for the boys, a place of their own in a good neighborhood.
What’s more, aside from the finances, Brittley felt emotionally overwhelmed. Overnight, she had gone from being a single woman to a mother of three. Sometimes she was at a loss on how to handle it all.
“God,” she prayed, “please send me someone to help raise these kids.”
She never dreamed of the answer she would get to her prayer.
“I’m excited for Christmas this year.”
Brittley met a man who was handsome and kind.
He politely asked her for a date, but she was not interested. The last thing she needed was a boyfriend in her complicated life.
But this guy was different – the type of person she could be friends with. And he was persistent, too.
He had a sense of her circumstances. A single dad, he shared custody of his three children – two girls and a boy, the same ages as hers.
He was funny and nurturing and a great listener. Still, Brittley put him off for months. Finally, on Father’s Day, she reached out to wish him well. He responded with a thank you, adding, “I’d still like that date.”
This time, Brittley relented.
Slowly, she introduced him to the boys, who fell in love with him. Brittley was soon admitting to herself that she was doing the same. The couple eventually let all the kids meet – and they hit it off, becoming friends.
Progressing through Home Again, Brittley decided to expand her apartment search, to join their families.
A place in Sarasota large enough for them all was out of the question – too expensive amid skyrocketing rents.
Eventually, they found a five-bedroom house in Ruskin and moved in this summer. Her boyfriend commutes to his job in Pinellas County while Brittley drives an hour each way to her job as a career coach at Career Source in Sarasota.
The commutes are worth it for the kids’ stability, she said. The boys love their school and their neighborhood. The house sits at the end of a cul-de-sac, where kids ride their bikes through the streets.
“It brings me a lot of peace,” she said.
What’s more, the two families have merged – the two older kids dubbed the “bigs;” the next two, the “middles;” and the smallest ones, the “littles.”
“We’re like the Brady Bunch – the Black edition,” Brittley joked.
As a new mom – now of six – she leans on her boyfriend’s experience – his calm but firm ways.
He reads her well, too – sensing when she needs a break and sending her off for some time alone.
Brittley’s resilience and positivity have amazed the most experienced case managers.
“Her world was flipped upside down, but she never failed to keep pushing forward for those three boys,” said Jordan Mayer, director of family and young adult services at Harvest House.
Her nephews still call her T.T., but RiKing’s teachers said that he refers to her as “my mom.” Despite all they’ve been through, the boys are excelling in school, the oldest two on the honor roll.
With her housing finally stable, Brittley’s feeling balanced again and safe to start focusing on herself, maybe enroll in more therapy.
It’s a common phenomenon, said Erin Minor, CEO of Harvest House.
“When you don’t have to worry about a safe, affordable place to live,” Minor said, “you can build a life of purpose, focus on education, experience the joys of life, and pursue your dreams.”
In addition to her job, Brittley is studying again. She hopes to graduate this spring from USF with a bachelor’s degree in psychology.
Now 29, she sometimes feels much older than her years. But her heart is full.
“God has been so good and so gracious over my life,” she said. “These kids bring me so much joy. It’s a different joy that I had never experienced before.”
For now, her main priority is decorating the house for the boys. For the first holiday season in two years, they have a place they call home.
Instead of sorrow, this one, she knows, will have laughter filling the house.
“I’m excited for Christmas this year.”
How to help
Season of Sharing was created 21 years ago as a partnership between the Herald-Tribune and the Community Foundation of Sarasota County to get emergency funds to individuals and families on the brink of homelessness in Sarasota, Manatee, Charlotte and DeSoto counties. There are no administrative fees and no red tape – every dollar donated goes to families in need to help with rental assistance, utility bills, child care and other expenses.
Donations to Season of Sharing may be made online at cfsarasota.org/donors/support-season-of-sharing, or by sending a check (payable to the Community Foundation of Sarasota County) to Attn. Season of Sharing, 2635 Fruitville Road, Sarasota, FL 34237. Contact the foundation at 941-955-3000 for more information or to request a credit card form. All donations are tax-deductible.
This story comes from a partnership between the Sarasota Herald-Tribune and the Community Foundation of Sarasota County. Saundra Amrhein covers the Season of Sharing campaign, along with issues surrounding housing, utilities, child care and transportation in the area. She can be reached at samrhein@gannett.com.
This article originally appeared on Sarasota Herald-Tribune: After a traumatic loss, Season of Sharing helps Sarasota woman
