Introvert or Extrovert? 6 Ways to Tell Which Personality Type You Are
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There are so many ways to characterize our personalities these days. Of course, there’s the breakdown of the big three in astrology (sun, rising, and moon signs), and there are Enneagram personality quizzes all over the internet that can give you insight into how you interact with others and when you’re alone. But one of the most basic personality assessments can be broken down into just two words: introverts and extroverts.
You’re probably very familiar with these words and maybe even can guess which of the two you more fall into, but there’s so much more beneath the surface of these two descriptors. For example, you can love socializing and be an introvert at heart. Here’s everything you need to know about identifying the two different personalities and how to tell which one you and others fall into.
Traits of an Introvert
There are so many myths surrounding the traits of an introvert, says Anita Astley, a psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author of Unf*ck Your Life and Relationships: How Lessons from My Life Can Help You Build Healthy Relationships from the Inside Out.
“Introverts are often misunderstood and are experienced as being shy, antisocial, and self-centered,” says Astley. “In actuality, introverts do not fear people or socializing with people; rather, they prefer to limit their interactional time and enjoy intimate gathering over large ones.”
When it comes to making decisions, introverts tend to “focus on their internal thoughts and feelings rather than external forces,” says Astley. This is why they are known to be quieter than extroverts. Instead of talking things out with another person, they prefer to spend time alone to come to their own conclusions. “One of their many strengths is that introverts make great active listeners,” says Astley.
Traits of an Extrovert
Extroverts are often “social, talkative, optimistic, outgoing, gregarious, friendly, and willing to take risks,” says Nancy Colier, psychotherapist, public speaker, and author of The Emotionally Exhausted Woman: Why You’re Feeling Depleted and How to Get What You Need.
Unlike introverts, when they are going through a problem or issue, “they are more inclined to talk them out with others than internalize and keep them inward,” says Astley. “They easily express their thoughts, feelings, and opinions and are action-oriented,” she adds.
How to Identify Whether You’re an Introvert or Extrovert
Although there are many distinctive traits of both introverts and extroverts, the source of these different personalities is where they get their energy from. Introverts recharge their batteries by spending time alone, while extroverts recharge by spending time with others.
Astley recommends asking yourself the following questions if you need more help deciding which you are:
Are you drained (introverts) or energized (extroverts) by social interaction?
Do you prefer to socialize in large (extroverts) or small groups (introverts)?
When you’re trying to solve a problem, do you need to mostly talk it out (extroverts) or think it out (introverts)?
Do you prefer more “social time” (extroverts) over “alone time”(introverts)?
Would you describe yourself as “life of the party” (extroverts) or more of quiet, active listener, drawing inward rather than outward (introverts)?
Do you easily introduce yourself to people when walking into a room full unfamiliar faces (extroverts) or avoid it if you can and wait for others to come to you (introvert)?
How to Cope with Social Situations as an Introvert or Extrovert
Just because extroverts are the more social of the two personalities doesn't mean they are always successful at socializing. The holidays can be a stressful time for both introverts and extroverts, so here are a few tips for each to make social settings a bit more smoother.
Introverts:
Colier says one of the best things an introvert can do for themselves is to give themselves permission to be who they are. They can do this by simply acknowledging that they are wired to get more burned out in social situations, and that’s okay. “It removes the shame and blame that they can put themselves through because socializing is hard,” says Colier. “It is really all about acceptance of our own nature.”
Taking a few minutes to yourself in the form of a bathroom break is a great way for introverts to recharge if they're feeling a bit too overstimulated, recommends Astley.
Extroverts:
Remember not to overshare in a conversation panic, says Astley. “Be mindful of your boundaries and those of others,” she says. Social situations are where extroverts shine, so remember to have some fun along the way with it. “When you’re in the party season, or anywhere social, stop for a moment and acknowledge the joy and nourishment you are receiving from the experience,” says Colier.
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