Be intrusive. Be a haunt. Do anything to stop suicide | Opinion
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Senior Chief Petty Officer Mike Day should have been killed.
Deployed to Iraq with SEAL Team Four during “The Surge” of 2007, he was the assault force commander on a mission in Fallujah to capture a high-value member of al-Qaeda. This was a “turnover mission” with the newly arrived Team Ten, and for many of them this would be their first combat mission.
Day was the first one through the door. Four enemy insurgents were waiting. They tossed him a grenade and shot him 27 times; eleven in the body armor and the rest in every body part except his head. His assault rifle was damaged and inoperable.
Day transitioned to his pistol and killed the four al-Qaeda terrorists that ambushed him. The whole thing went down inside a room a little bigger than your kid’s bedroom. Day walked himself to the MEDEVAC helicopter after the shootout.
Day spent the next six months recovering at Walter Reed, and when we all returned to the Naval Amphibious Base, in Little Creek, Va. in the fall, he received the Silver Star for “conspicuous gallantry in combat” at an award ceremony attended by just about every one of his Naval Special Warfare brothers and sisters in-port at the time. The ceremony was surreal. Many teammates were killed in action on that deployment and the memories were horribly fresh. But standing in front of them was a guy who had no business coming home. A walking miracle. A hero amongst heroes; reminding them that they survived.
He went on to retire from the Navy in 2008 and was unsurprisingly diagnosed with PTSD and Traumatic Brain Injury. He wrote a book about the experience; Perfectly Wounded: A Memoir About What Happens After a Miracle and worked as an advocate for wounded service members and those suffering with PTSD.
Mike Day hanged himself on March 27.
The news shook me. It shook me because I understood. On that deployment our Task Unit from Team Ten was in Baghdad fighting the Mahdi Army about every other day for six months. I sought treatment soon after Senior Chief Day’s award ceremony but after a few sessions I retired from the Navy and didn’t stick with it. Instead, I “dealt with it myself” by self-medicating with enormous amounts of alcohol, drinking myself to sleep every night for the next decade until I came to the realization that I was slowly committing suicide. With the unwavering support of my wife, I stopped drinking four years ago and found an excellent therapist who specializes in trauma. I take anti-depressants and meds to quiet the nightmares and am fully committed to the treatment. I never want to go back to the way it was before.
That’s what terrified me when I heard the news about Mike Day: I understand how the horrific nightmares, depression, survivor’s guilt, and chronic pain can become so overwhelming. Couple that with other stressors: money, alcohol, drugs, relationships, and it becomes easy to see why someone would believe the best treatment is suicide.
Like almost all social issues, combat veteran suicide and getting mental health treatment to those in need is a complex problem. There are hundreds of not-for-profit organizations working on the issue, along with the Department of Defense, Veterans Administration, Centers for Disease Control, and others. I applaud them all for their efforts and commitment. But when a living flesh Superman decides the best way to cope is by clocking out, the system is failing.
I don’t know what needs to be done to make real change, but I’m going to do whatever I can to help. You should, too. Start by doing a buddy check. Make sure they’re okay. Be intrusive. Be a haunt. Be the non-judgmental support network they need. We’ll figure out the rest along the way. The most important and difficult part of recovery is getting on the path. Get them on it. I’ll see you there.
Pressing on, regardless.
Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Help is available. If you or a loved one are in need of support, dial 988. Veterans Crisis Line: If you or a loved one are a veteran in need of support, dial 988 then press 1. Do it now.
Ken McDonald is President of the Brevard County Democratic Veterans Caucus
This article originally appeared on Florida Today: Be intrusive. Be a haunt. Do anything to stop suicide | Opinion
