Ukrainian intelligence said the military leadership of the Russian Federation was attempting to fight rampant alcohol abuse among its military, which leads to "numerous violations of discipline."
And to help them in the fight, the Russians have recruited an unusual helper – a local Santa Claus impersonator. It is unclear how the Russian army expects this to be of use, however.
“Cases of soldiers going absent without official leave during the service have become more frequent,” said Ukrainian intelligence. “Soldiers are at their firing positions in a state of intoxication. They violate gun use rules. There are car accidents involving servicemen in a state of intoxication.”
To solve this problem, the Russian invaders decided to call up a collaborator in the Mykhailivska municipality, Ivan Sushko, who, before receiving this “assignment” worked as a toastmaster at weddings and as a Santa Claus impersonator during the winter holidays.