How to Invite More Sexual Energy Into Your Bedroom

Amber C. Snider

If you’re looking to add a little more romance to your life, you can always hop on the app of your choice or schedule a dinner date with your boo. You might also consider upgrading your space. No, we’re not talking about working your sex props into your bedroom’s overall decor. (We wrote about that already.) This article is more about our theory that while you can’t manufacture romance, you can cultivate space for it to grow, a.k.a. make it sexy. And even if you don’t manifest a date, you’ll have created a space that makes you feel good—and that’s half the battle, isn’t it? Before you light 1,000 candles (fire hazard!) or surround yourself with statues of Krishna (eh, it couldn’t hurt), you might want to read our advice. Making a few of these small decorative changes could bring you luck in lust—or at least help you fall more in love with your bedroom.

Go for glow-y lighting.

Never underestimate the power of good lighting. Harsh overhead fixtures are jarring to the senses and unflattering for virtually everyone. Mood lighting is an art form, which, when done right, can highlight our desirable physical qualities while diminishing our self-perceived flaws, hopefully making us feel all the sexier. Basically, think about whatever lighting makes you feel good. Confidence is key. Opt for natural light (streaking moonlight from a window, for example), Himalayan salt lamps, stand-alone dimmer lamps, or amber-glass bulbs to achieve a warm glow.

Unplug. Yes, entirely.

Make your bedroom a screen-free zone. Feeling sexy is all about tuning in to the self and tapping into your desires. Settling into that space requires shutting out the noise of the outside world. If you have a TV in your room, move it to a different space. Same goes for computers, tablets, cellphones, and any other major electronics that will distract you.

Incorporate more texture.

Stark minimalism and perfect lines are great in daylight, but to invoke romance you need a bit of balanced chaos. Think tousled post-sex hair versus a fresh blowout. Mixing various textures—satin, silk, faux fur, cotton—stimulates your senses and adds a sense of play to your bedroom.

Go light on scent.

Scent can be a tricky one, especially since everyone has individual associations with fragrances. Too much rose (the aroma sacred to love goddesses like Aphrodite) can either arouse or fall flat, while musk can sometimes feel too overpowering. Combining scents and developing your own signature is a great way to be in touch with yourself (ahem)—and it’s easy to do with a diffuser. Experiment by adding a few drops of rose, lavender, cinnamon, nutmeg, or clary sage to your diffuser.

Look to feng shui.

The bed should have a commanding place in the bedroom (it’s where the action happens, after all), but don’t align it directly with the door. According to feng shui principles, the bed should be at an off-angle or diagonal from the door, and not positioned directly underneath a window, to ensure an optimum flow of energy, or chi. Be sure to have two nightstands so your partner has a place for their things, too. (Maybe that last one’s less feng shui and more common courtesy.)

Leave some physical room for romance.

Sure, it sounds a bit hokey, but make sure you actually have room for romance in your life—like, physical space. If your bedroom is messy and cluttered, you might find yourself thinking about sparking joy rather than sparks of chemistry. It needs a place to dance, to feel free and expansive, and maybe even a little wild. Keep this idea of negative space in mind as you rearrange your bedroom furniture.

Originally Appeared on Architectural Digest