Itty Bitty Bar seeks thief with witty social media post
PARK TWP. — A local bar is asking the public for assistance after an early morning intruder made off with liquor, food and electronics.
In a social media post Thursday, July 27, Itty Bitty Bar of Park Township offered a $1,000 reward for information leading to the prosecution of the intruder. But it was the way the post was written that captured the attention of locals.
“In the wee wee hours of Wednesday morning, a Mission Impossible-style burglary occurred at Itty Bitty Bar,” the post read. “Our suspect strolled in on a two-wheeler like a quiet kitten, pulled a ladder from our storage area and scaled to the roof.
“Recognizing he was no match for our laser guided, temperature sensing, weight adjusted alarm system, he proceeded to just open the back door instead.”
Using “heart surgeon” precision, the suspect entered the office with a crowbar before continuing on his "shopping spree," making off with Patron, Cincoro, Grey Goose, Glenlivet and high-end electronics.
“Being bushed from a long morning of shopping, our suspect made his way to the kitchen, having worked up quite an appetite,” the post continued. “Fumbling (through) the cooler, he knocked over a case of shrimp, passed on that, and went straight for dessert. Our delicious peanut butter pie.
“With the patience of Job, he realized this was incomplete. What goes good with peanut butter pie you ask? Obviously whipped cream. Ahhhh, NOW it’s dessert.”
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According to the post, the intruder then left the bar, riding off into the sunrise on his bike.
The bar warned the public not to approach the suspect, as he's in possession of tequila and “we all know tequila nights never end well.” The alarm was off for a commercial cleaning company and the suspect moved cameras to avoid detection, but photos show he was wearing an ASICS jacket and matching gym pants.
Anyone with information is asked to email ittybittybar1136@gmail.com.
— Contact reporter Austin Metz at ametz@hollandsentinel.com.
This article originally appeared on The Holland Sentinel: Itty Bitty Bar seeks thief with witty social media post
