Jacquemus's New Dog Is a Perfect Angel and You Cannot Tell Me Otherwise

From Harper's BAZAAR

While doom scrolling in these desolate times, the one thing that will always get me to stop, double tap, or keep watching on loop is cute puppy content. I'm a simple woman; that's all it takes. My liked videos on TikTok are dotted with clips like this puny Golden Retriever and this dopey terrier. My Twitter DMs to my boyfriend are mostly posts from We Rate Dogs and other pups. I cannot get over how Instagrammer Amaka Hamelijnck's dog looks like a sweet old man. So, imagine my surprise yesterday, as I tried to scroll away the Sunday scaries, when I came across designer Simon Porte Jacquemus's new dog, Toutou.

This angelic little sausage, who appears to be a spotted short-haired Dachshund, has stolen my heart and used it as an oversized pillow. Look at this impeccable Instagram debut: He flashes his big blue eyes and floppy ears, which are so massive they seem to rearrange the whole ratio of his body, and somehow keeps balance on his tiny, chonk-y legs. He doesn't opt for the typical, begging puppy-eyed pose but instead looks straight into your soul, plainly, as if he is waiting for you to answer his question or stop sharing an opinion he could not care less about.

Yes, he already has his own Instagram account (@mynameistoutou) and yes, I was among the first 10,000 followers. "I’M TOUTOU, I LOVE CROQUETTES, SUNNY DAYS, BONES, AND MY TWO DADS 🐶🐶🐶," his bio reads, referring to Jacquemus and his partner, Marco Maestri.

There are only two photos so far, but they are nothing short of sublime. In the second, captioned, "ME DANCING THRILLER," he lies with his arms bent on a magenta sweater, continuing what could be an immaculate curation of jewel-toned Instagram backdrops.

Proud dad Jacquemus shared even more sweet moments in his Instagram Story, such as Toutou fast asleep or cuddling up on his shoes, promptly transforming me into the human equivalent of this emoji (🤗) or the "Kermit loves his phone" meme.

Perhaps what excites me the most are the endless possibilities that lie ahead for this photogenic young prince and the Jacquemus brand. Imagine Toutou tumbling through a sprawling field at the French designer's next runway show, or taking a final bow in his dad's arm. I can already sense his plans to influence us with the next micro bag on Instagram.

My apologies to Choupette, but Toutou is my favorite designer pet. Or favorite pet, period.

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