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Jamie Lee Curtis doesn’t just slay at the box office; she’s also killing the game at home as a loving, supportive parent.
Back in July, Curtis — with her daughter Ruby’s permission — shared the news that her youngest child had come out as transgender. Now, the two of them are speaking out about Ruby’s journey in hopes her story will resonate with others, whether they’re trans themselves or have family members who are.
Sitting down with People, Ruby recalled the day she came out to her parents about her gender identity. “It was scary — just the sheer fact of telling them something about me they didn’t know,” she shared. “It was intimidating — but I wasn’t worried. They had been so accepting of me my entire life.”
Rather than do it face to face, Ruby opted to leave and text her mother instead. “I called her immediately. Needless to say, there were some tears involved,” Curtis recalled.
It’s been a real learning experience for Curtis, who’s embraced the process but accepts that she won’t always do everything perfectly. “It’s learning new terminology and words. I am new at it. I am not someone who is pretending to know much about it. And I’m going to blow it, I’m going to make mistakes. I would like to try to avoid making big mistakes,” she said. “You slow your speech down a little. You become a little more mindful about what you’re saying. How you’re saying it. You still mess up, I’ve messed up today twice. We’re human.”
Ruby recalled the first time she began questioning her gender. “When I was about 16, a friend of mine who is trans asked me what my gender was. I told them, ‘Well, I’m male.’ After, I’d dwell on the thought. I knew I was — maybe not Ruby per se, but I knew I was different,” she shared. While she now thinks she probably should have come out as trans at that point, a negative experience she had in therapy held her back from fully embracing her identity. It was sharing her truth with her fiance that helped Ruby take that step. “Seven years later...I told the person who is now my fiancé that I am probably trans. And they said, ‘I love you for who you are’,” she said.
While Jamie Lee didn’t “know” that Ruby was transgender before she came out, the actress says that now, upon reflection, it all makes sense. “When you ask, ‘Did you have an inkling that Ruby was trans?’ I would say no. But when I replayed Ruby’s life, I went, ‘Hmm, that, that, those, hmm,” she explained.
One thing the very private Ruby wants to make clear is that coming out now isn’t about grabbing any kind of spotlight but instead stems from a hope that her story will inspire and comfort others.
“If one person reads this, sees a picture of Ruby and me and says, ‘I feel free to say this is who I am,’ then it’s worth it,“ said Curtis, who stressed that the most important thing for her is that she be there for her child. “I am here to support Ruby. That is my job. Just as it is to care and love and support her older sister Annie in her journeys,” she said. “I’m a grateful student. I’m learning so much from Ruby. The conversation is ongoing. But I want to know: How can I do this better?”