Jeffrey Epstein Memes Have Somehow Permeated Dating Apps
If you’ve used a dating app for a sustained period of time, you’ve surely developed a set of deal breakers. I, being anti-fun, am firmly against any bio that starts with “take me on an adventure!” or “give me travel tips for Patagonia!” Pamela*, a 26-year-old woman from Los Angeles, has three deal breakers of her own: the presence of an acoustic guitar in photos, any professional involvement in real estate, and, most recently, the invocation of Jeffrey Epstein. “I’ve seen such weird things on Hinge, like a man who was wielding a hatchet in his first profile picture, and separately, a guy who spells his name Chazz, and both of those gave me less pause than the Jeffrey Epstein thing,” she says.
Hinge, Pamela's dating app of choice, allows users to respond to three prewritten "prompts" to give suitors some easy conversation starters. Says Pamela: “The first time I saw the did Jeffrey Epstein really kill himself? prompt, I was like, ‘Why am I having this negative of a reaction to something so stupid?’ I stayed on his profile for even longer, because it came out of nowhere, and I was so taken aback.” She chose not to send that man a message.
Epstein—a rapist and convicted pedophile—died in jail back in August, after he was arrested on new sex crime charges. His death was ruled a suicide by New York City Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Barbara Sampson, but considering Epstein’s mysterious associations with the rich and powerful, including alleged sex criminals/U.S. presidents Bill Clinton and Donald Trump, many have since speculated that foul play was afoot. Most notably, on November 2, former Navy Seal Mike Ritland appeared on the Fox News program Watters World, and apropos of nothing—in an unrelated segment about retired military dogs—Ritland told Watters, "Epstein didn't kill himself." In the blink of an eye, Epstein didn’t kill himself morphed into a morbid meme that’s manifested itself on social media, Christmas sweaters (not kidding), and yes, dating apps.
There are, of course, dating app trolls who’ve been getting off their Epstein jokes and memes simply because they think the jokes and memes are funny. The Venn diagram of those folks and the folks who plug their ears about the state of the world (it’s bad!) is one obnoxious circle. May they find each other on dating apps and live in undisturbed, ignorant bliss.
But there is also a group of people who—not unfairly—see Epstein theories as a political litmus test of sorts. No, it’s certainly not “political” to condemn a pedophile; it is, however, “political” to lump Epstein with only high-profile Republicans, or high-profile Democrats, rather than leaders from both major parties. There are also overtly “political” implications to the increasingly founded idea that “respectable” billionaires and well-known celebrities are caught up in this mess, too. When you take that into account, a question as insane-sounding as did Epstein kill himself? can actually have some use in determining how far someone is willing to go to hero-worship. At the very least, the Epstein prompt shows that you’re paying attention to one of the more consequential stories of our lifetime. Alex, a 30-year-old woman from Los Angeles, wrote to me about a guy she saw on Hinge who’d mentioned Epstein: “I guess it’s good to see he keeps up with current events.” She included an understandably perplexed emoji.
Jameson Rich, a 26-year-old writer based in New York City, recently came across a cute woman's profile where she invited perusers to debate her about Epstein's death. Jameson was intrigued. The current format of dating apps—and the bazillions of first dates they produce—doesn’t allow for a ton of wiggle room, personality-wise, but this hyper-specific prompt indicated...something. What, exactly, about the meme was she responding to? He decided to answer the woman’s prompt, the equivalent of “swiping right” on Hinge, asking who she thought was involved in Epstein’s death. (She, unfortunately, did not write back, because love is an illusion.)
“Hinge is supposed to be the app where you can delve into who people are a little bit more,” Jameson says. “But what I find ends up happening is people’s responses to the prompts are usually super boring. That question—’debate this topic’—nine out of 10 times, someone writes, like, ‘Parks and Rec is better than The Office.’ Her response was kind of interesting and intriguing.”
Hinge declined to comment for this article about how many of its users mention Epstein on their profiles; Tinder declined as well. But Celeste, a 22-year-old from New York City, says she’s seen Epstein-related prompts “a surprising amount of times” on Hinge of late—and she, unlike Jameson, is not on board with Epstein’s inclusion, at least on the apps.
“You’re referencing someone with such a long history of sex crimes on a dating app,” she says, noting he’s an odd and somewhat concerning figure to associate yourself with in your attempt to court romance online. “It’s clear people thought they were being original or taking an interesting stance, and in my mind it wasn’t. It’s a political version of ‘I like The Office.’” (Epstein aside, it’s clear you should absolutely not include The Office in your profile.)
Jameson and Celeste also differ on the merits of bringing up Epstein on a first date. While Celeste says she wouldn’t find the topic off-putting in-person, Jameson is scarred from a prior first date, when a woman almost immediately launched into all of her favorite conspiracies. “I was thrown off and felt like I had to parse how earnest she was being,” he recalls. “I couldn’t figure it out, and that’s what makes this discussion really dicey if it’s with someone you don't know very well.”
On a dating app, Jameson feels the Epstein theorizing-stakes are lower, since the theories are more clearly steeped in the sort of dark humor and 10 layers of irony the Internet thrives on; taking those theories out of their natural habitat and immediately spewing them face-to-face can give off a very different, Bush did 9/11 vibe.
Pamela maintains she’s all for conversations that veer into the political realm on an actual IRL date. But, in her opinion, Epstein is less of a political figure than he is just a serial statutory rapist. “It’s just a really strong thing to come out of the gate with for somebody who is, essentially, a stranger. You can get your views across about the rich and the powerful without bringing up Epstein.”
Maybe Epstein theories are just another dating app signal amongst a sea of others (i.e. mentioning The Office). But it’s worth reiterating that the Internet is an unhinged destination where a legitimate news story has turned into a meme about whether a pedophile killed himself in jail. Every part of the Epstein saga invokes difficult-to-discuss traumas. There surely exists a contingent of individuals who may very well believe Epstein was murdered, and that he enabled a cabal of billionaires to commit unspeakable crimes—it’s just that they’d rather not rehash such garish details, like, ever, but especially not in a romantic context. So if you’re going to insist on responding to that Epstein dating app prompt, try to do it delicately. The safest piece of advice is to save the Epstein theories until you’ve established the barest minimum levels of intimacy. After the first kiss, perhaps. Just not like, immediately after the first kiss.
*Names have been changed.
A Navy seal, a popular podcaster, and an ABC hot mic might explain it.
Originally Appeared on GQ
