Jennette McCurdy Reflects On Friendship With iCarly's Miranda Cosgrove

Pictorial Press Ltd / Alamy Stoc
·3 min read

Miranda Cosgrove taught Jennette McCurdy a very important lesson about the power of female friendships while starring together on "iCarly."

Even though she played a happy-go-lucky teen in the hit Nickelodeon show, McCurdy's real life was complicated behind the scenes.

As she recently revealed in her new memoir, "I'm Glad My Mom Died," the star had to deal with a controlling mother who abused her emotionally and physically. McCurdy's mom, Debra McCurdy, died of breast cancer in 2013 when McCurdy was 21.

The bestseller shares shocking revelations from McCurdy's life as a child actor. But the book is also filled with humor, as McCurdy said in an interview with TODAY, and with hope — especially in her friendship with "iCarly" co-star Miranda Cosgrove.

During a new episode of "Red Table Talk" now streaming on Facebook Watch, the 30-year-old reveals how working with Cosgrove on "iCarly" was a cathartic experience,

“I’m very grateful for that friendship. It did provide me a lot of comfort in those really challenging years. My relationship with Miranda was hugely healing to my concept of women," she said.

McCurdy went on to explain how her mother had colored her view of female friendships since she would always cast them in a negative light.

"My mom was always saying, ‘Men will never really know you and they’ll hurt you, but women will know you deeply and then they’ll hurt you. You tell me which is worse,’" she said.

As a result, the teen was cautious around other girls.

“I felt this sort of trust towards boys that I didn’t feel towards girls (at a) very young (age) and Miranda helped me to heal that relationship but it is something that I still struggle with,” she said.

In an her memoir, McCurdy said that she considered Cosgrove as a "sister" while they filmed "iCarly." She describes the friendship as “a source of camaraderie and emotional support … like sisters, but without the passive-aggression and weird tensions.”

The two drifted apart after the show ended, and that was painful for McCurdy.

“I don’t like knowing people in the context of things. Oh, that’s the person I work out with. That’s the person I’m in a book club with … I yearn to know the people I love deeply and intimately — without context, without boxes — and I yearn for them to know me that way, too," McCurdy writes in the present tense. "And as much as I think I know Miranda deeply and intimately, I don’t like that I know her through the context of ‘iCarly,’ because ‘iCarly’ is ending, and I don’t want our friendship to end with it.”

Cosgrove, 29, spoke to the New York Times for a piece about the book, and said she did not know what her co-star was going through at the time.

“When you’re young, you’re so in your own head,” Cosgrove said. “You can’t imagine that people around you are having much harder struggles.”

After its publication, McCurdy's memoir shot to the top of the New York Times best seller list, something McCurdy told TODAY she did not anticipate.

“I’ve been truly overwhelmed in the best way with the response,” McCurdy told TODAY.

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